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can you stop being asexual etc then randomly revert back? (sorry long winded and hope it makes sense!)


Propper Techie

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Propper Techie

Haven't been on here in a while, due to health crap and working out I was actually sexual, even though I was freaked at the thought of doing it. Got with a guy, cue me :) I only gave him one rule 'be gentle' - think I at least deserved it! but he wasn't, and the whole time I was 'suffering' I was humming songs in head to relax, replaying my fave tv shows etc.

He then finally stops, went to me 'it good for you' and i went 'no' and went into detail as to why! and he replied with 'you should of said 'gentle' - I bloody did! - rather than what I thought was him as my 'bf?' he 'brushed me aside' as basically a one nighter, I hate self for it and the thought of EVER doing it again sickens me.

Now don't know if this is part down to the fact that I went to a major catholic school with nuns teaching and the school backing on to the convent so they were 'about' and forced to go to church til I was 16 or not, but I even skip parts in books that are of that nature, and am quite happy sat reading my books all days - skipping the sexual parts - than be out meeting potential guys to get with. I hate being touched and don't m'bate or anything of that nature as that to me is also sickening. So I don't actually know if I never stopped 'being' asexual but when I got with him it 'bubbled slow under surface' and now it's come back to the top?

thanks :)

^ hope some of that made sense!

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Haven't been on here in a while, due to health crap and working out I was actually sexual, even though I was freaked at the thought of doing it. Got with a guy, cue me :) I only gave him one rule 'be gentle' - think I at least deserved it! but he wasn't, and the whole time I was 'suffering' I was humming songs in head to relax, replaying my fave tv shows etc.

He then finally stops, went to me 'it good for you' and i went 'no' and went into detail as to why! and he replied with 'you should of said 'gentle' - I bloody did! - rather than what I thought was him as my 'bf?' he 'brushed me aside' as basically a one nighter, I hate self for it and the thought of EVER doing it again sickens me.

Now don't know if this is part down to the fact that I went to a major catholic school with nuns teaching and the school backing on to the convent so they were 'about' and forced to go to church til I was 16 or not, but I even skip parts in books that are of that nature, and am quite happy sat reading my books all days - skipping the sexual parts - than be out meeting potential guys to get with. I hate being touched and don't m'bate or anything of that nature as that to me is also sickening. So I don't actually know if I never stopped 'being' asexual but when I got with him it 'bubbled slow under surface' and now it's come back to the top?

thanks :)

^ hope some of that made sense!

I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience. :(

I don't really know what you mean tho, you could be sex averse if you dislike the idea of having sex.

Sexuality is fluid, but if you have sex or not doesn't affect if you're asexual or not.

Regardless of what some say, you can be asexual and love sex and be asexual and hate the mere thought of sex.

Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone.

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Did you ever actually have the impulse/urge/compulsion to have sex with him in your mind?

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No reason to pin yourself down, honestly. Whether you're asexual or gray- would only really be relevant once you find a compatible partner.

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Propper Techie

Star Bit - no didn't want to, waited 7 yrs to meet him, met him a few time and that was fine, but with he tried to kiss me I kept my mouth shut! and I was

'ashamed' to do it but still but then when I thought I had was with him I thought 'stop being stupid' so let him but it was horrible!

Qloshae - as to having sex, no, I don't bar Johnny Depp *shame* and even then I probably wouldn't!

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Propper Techie

Tarfeather - plan on never being with anyone, I have my books, and I have my freinds that's good enough for me

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Star Bit - no didn't want to, waited 7 yrs to meet him, met him a few time and that was fine, but with he tried to kiss me I kept my mouth shut! and I was 'ashamed' to do it but still but then when I thought I had was with him I thought 'stop being stupid' so let him but it was horrible! Qloshae - as to having sex, no, I don't bar Johnny Depp *shame* and even then I probably wouldn't!

Well, that's how asexuality is defined; not desiring sex. How exactly did you come to question you're demisexual? Because of sexual arousal? Sexual arousal and desiring sex are two different things.

Demisexual is factually having sexual attraction; the desire for sex, after a certain bond is reached; not theory of that or theory of being ok with it after a certain bond either.

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Propper Techie

Star bit - it's down to the 'arousal' more than the 'want/need' to have it and I could see myself being in that situation, talking like 2 years of meeting etc not 'jump into bed straight away' and I'd be like 'no idea what to do,' am I just doing it as I'm 'aroused' but not want it, nor have I the heart to say 'I like you but I don't want it' or do I do it anyway, and then re-live the hell I've gone through!

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