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Don't fit in anywhere really


bodybuildingguy

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bodybuildingguy

I am a very athletic 36 year old guy. I do all the typical guy things and love doing them a lot. Except for sex. I just never understood how for men it overrides everything they do. I tried dating women and I have tried dating men. Society seems to want you to fit into one of those two roles. But sexually I don't fit either role well at all. I could, well used to be able to, have sex even though I didn't really like it ... but now that I am older I just don't want to that much. I relate well to men because all my hobbies are, well, hobbies that men like. Drag racing and lifting weights and motorcycles and muscle cars are some of the bigger ones. :D But I don't think I am homosexual either. I could spend many years sharing my hobbies and interests and life with another guy similar to myself...but I don't home in on it sexually...more of a physical and emotional attraction rather than sexual. Kind of a male bonding thing if you will. However, gay men are way oversexed...much more so than heterosexual men. So I feel more comfortable around straight men because they don't ... usually look at me in a sexual way. What is interesting is my Mother is a self confessed asexual as well. So maybe it is some heredity in it too. I wish I could meet someone similar to me to talk to more about this stuff. Sure doesn't do much for the macho image to tell your buddies your asexual. I do "jack off" but don't really think about anything. It is sorta something I do to fall asleep sometimes.

There are things that are arousing. Riding motorcycles can be arousing at times. Yeah that is weird isn't it. Playing football was sometimes arousing too. Lifting weights at times is arousing too. Most of my biggest sexual arousals have come not really from people but more from inanimate things. Sometimes even kind of dark things like handcuffs,guns,execution equipment. Try that for strange. I wouldn't and don't feel like hurting anyone. Perhaps its just a fantasy. I have tried S&M stuff but it isn't for me either. I am an avid welder and have welded up a lot of incredible restraint equipment. It is fun to build it. I don't understand that side of me either. But a lot of my friends know about it and the stuff I build and think it is a little dark but don't say much else about it. But as far as having sex with it ... it does't work. I have tried that too. I can strap myself in this stuff and jack off and its all good

but having acutual sex acts with another person and using S&M type stuff doesn't work. I have fantasies about being tied up etc. But that's it I don't want sex I just like to get tied up. Gay men into that stuff want sex and that isn't what I am after. It is more of a strange hobby collecting and building this stuff than it is sexual. so I am still stuck with not fitting in. Geez I wonder if there is anyone out there that can even relate to this stuff. Who knows. I just hate being alone with no one to share life with more than anything.

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hey bbg... welcome to the group, you'll fit in here... (it's early morning here)

*hugs bbg*

beth 8)

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It is sorta something I do to fall asleep sometimes.

... now who was suffering from insomnia again!? did i not tell u. :wink:

ANYWAY! ..sorry!

Hey..welcome! youll fit right in ..dont worry! .. were all alittle strange around here.. all with our own little quirks and such.. so just stick around and youll have soo much fun!

Iz

x

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Hi BBG,

Pleased to meet you. You have just opened up and shared a lot of stuff with us, a lot of stuff that other "macho" people would have real problems with, that makes you more than man enough in our eyes :D

STOP WORRYING and dive into AVEN. We are a rich and varied group of people and we come from all walks of life (I'm one of the oldies, I'll be 30 in a little while :wink: ) and have a great amount of experience that hopefully you can draw from.

AVEN is like a Home to me and I wouldn't be without it for the world. Whether you are a Newbie or someone more established, the common ground is the fact that we all have validity and something to say that is of use to others here.

Welcome Home BBG,

Hats.

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Welcome!!

You've welded lots of restraining devices and like execution equippement? *Johnny the Homicidal Maniac comes to mind* . . . I think you and ILikePie will get along just fine :D

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hey! dont diss! ..if thats what he likes!... now if hed said ".....with a chainsaw." ... id be worried! :D

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bodybuildingguy

People take some things about me the wrong way. I don't want to kill or maim anybody...that surely wouldn't "turn me on." I do have a sex drive ... it is just directed more at the thought of being tied up or restrainted in some of the restraint devices I have made. I'd let someone else put me in it (the S&M part I guess) but I don't want any sexual contact beyond that. I'd just like to stay restrained by myself. Just kind of dangerous though if you do this solo. Outside of this I suppose I am more "turned on" by not being allowed to have sex/"jack off" than actually getting it.

But sex to me takes a far backseat to the emotional and physical bond I get with other guys. I guess I'd be a "homo" then. But I just don't want to do any "homo-erotic-sexual-things." Not that I have anything against it. I have met some great gay men that I wish I could be with but we are incompatible due to the sexual aspects of gay men. I really wish I could find a guy into similar hobbies as myself ... building/restoring old muscle cars, drag racing, body building, etc. But a guy that isn't a "fag hater" or "flaming gay" or "flaming straight" or "overboard sexually". But someone just looking for a really really close buddy.

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I can't believe it! Yesturday something happened to Aven while I was writing a post here and I lost it. I'm so mad :evil: that post took me about half an hour. it was so long. Actually I didn't have anything to say, I was just playing joke on you guys 'cause I know that nobody likes long posts, gosh it was fun and now it's gone. Maybe I'll do it again sometime.

Welcome again (for me it's again) in the place where everybody fits no matter how weird s/he is.

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hey! dont diss! ..

I wasn't dissing :oops: Hehe it was a silly/stupid compliment more than anything.

Seriously, all silly/stupid things coming from me are meant in a friendly way :mrgreen:

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I used to know someone who was a crime scene photographer and he would "get off" by reproducing how the corpse looked in the shots by posing himself and then flogging the results on eBay. I would say he made a killing out of the pics but that might just be too sick.....

:shock:

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Hi,

I do have a sex drive ... it is just directed more at the thought of being tied up or restrainted in some of the restraint devices I have made.

Well, you don't have to feel abnormal about this, because I used to like to do weird things to myself too.

... someone just looking for a really really close buddy.

This is generally the same attitude I have, except with girls.

Some of them will try to "act cute" and talk about how cute the clouds were today, how cute the squirrels were outside, or some other small-talk BS. I guess this what some people call flirting, for a friend of mine believes that some girls will do it because they think it's attractive.

At any rate, it does nothing for me. I'm only interested in finding people who can be good friends.

Welcome!

Sean

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Hats .. thats gross! ... ive seen enough of dead/messed up bodies from my grandad being teaching law and order and also being an ex airforce cop and working in vietnam .. how anyone can get off on that shit.. ill never know!

interesting fact: did you know, in the right conditions, a body can be so badly decomposed in 10 days that you cant tell if its male or female .... ewww.

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For more sick things like that, check rotten.com or ogrish.com :mrgreen:

Here's something from there (it's not gory), personally, I laughed at that one for a solid 5 minutes: http://poetry.rotten.com/dog-knowledge/

Some of them will try to "act cute" and talk about how cute the clouds were today, how cute the squirrels were outside, or some other small-talk BS

Squirrels . . . I loathe squirrels.

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YO!!!

mightymouse.jpg

Now that I have your complete and undivided attention, WELCOME TO AVEN!!! Stick around and have a blast with us :D

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THATS WHY I DONT PUT FINGERS IN MY MOUTH! U DONT KNOW WHERE THEYVE BEEN! EW EW EW EW!............obviously i know where mine have been....

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Not strictly true.

interesting fact: did you know, in the right conditions, a body can be so badly decomposed in 10 days that you cant tell if its male or female .... ewww.

The bone structure of a woman is different after puberty. From memory the hips are different and the jaw is also distinctive.

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not to look at is what im saying .... thatd have to be found out in an autopsy..(if thats right) ..im not talking skeleton..im talking rotting flesh ....

talking of rotting flesh .. did you know that its bacteria in the gut that causes the body to start to decay after you die ... ahh.. buddhist mummies on history channel can teach much! :wink:

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its not an interest! .. its just stuff you pick up along the way ... im not some little freak that sits all alone in my house looking at pages on the net learning all about rotting bodies! ..... like i said, my grandad has shitloads of books on stuff like that cuz hes an ex cop.. and i like the history channel ok... long as its not like war stuff!... unless its medieval or civil war stuff.. like guy fawkes era i mean ... :D

shall i tell you whats sick ........

ever seen texas chainsaw mass... that one! .. well im really scared my friend dean is going to turn into the guy off that.. he loves skulls.. he actually found one in a forest near where we live..a human one.. no body .. no neck vertabre or anything! ..as white as white ..(which means there was no flesh on it when it was left there... rotting discolors the bones..another fact!) .. and did he take it to the police?! NO! .. hes left it in the art room at school!! ....thats like a human being man! and hes using it like as if its not even anything.........

hes also been known to take a dead cat off the side of the road and skin it for its skull... hes so sick.. and to talk to him, and also to look at him.. hes as sweet as anything!

(in my defence... im not bullshitting!)

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Thanks Izzy.

I wasn't implying that you are sick in any way or have a morbid interest in things. Your friend does sound a real freak. Mind you he is young no doubt and exploring himself or trying to find an identity :?

My neighbour's son many moons ago decided to model himself on a rocky horror picture show character. His school uniform was a little different than most. Fortunately the school saw fit to humour him and eventually once he realised that no one was bothered by it he gave up.

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My neighbour's son many moons ago decided to model himself on a rocky horror picture show character

fair play! that is one dudey movie! :D

i tried the whole grungy goth thing once.. too much hassel.. youve actually got make an effort to make it look like you havent!

Now im more of a gap advert crossed with a skater... im sure ill post a half realistic picture of me one day!

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The person in question is now a psychiatric nurse (a good one) at a hospital not a million miles away from you. I think it's called Fairmile.

im sure ill post a half realistic picture of me one day!

We await that moment with some trepidation :wink:

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