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Romantic?


The-world-is-quiet-here

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The-world-is-quiet-here

Okay, so long story short, I have a crush on one of my female friends. Or at least, I'm calling it a crush.

We act very romantic with each other, like holding hands, saying I love you, and hugging. She calls it platonic.

I have this really big crush on her, but I don't want to kiss her. Like, I've thought about it, and I just don't. . . want to. There isn't that desire or anything.

The funny thing is, I am otherwise super romantic.

Thoughts?

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McDoogledork

Have you had other crushes, and if you have is there a sexual desire there too?

I'd say that you should figure out what a relationship means to you, what are you looking for in a relationship; and then see if your crush would fit into that.

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The-world-is-quiet-here

I have had one other crush (also on a friend of mine). I don't know if there was sexual desire there. It seemed like it was more sensual than sexual, like, I would want to be near her or hug her.

But she isn't looking for a relationship with me/she's heteroromantic, so. . .

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McDoogledork

Do you want to continuing being as close to her as you are now?

or

Do you want to be less romantic with her, because you know she can't feel that same about you as you do about her?

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The-world-is-quiet-here

I want to keep being this close to her. I don't know what else I would do. Why?

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McDoogledork

I guess I was just wondering if you might have been worried about your feeling growing into more than just a crush. I'm pretty terrible with romantic emotions so if I start to like someone, and I know they wont have those feelings towards me, I tend to wall off potential romantic aspects of a friendship, this way my own feeling won't develop beyond that.

(I didn't make it very clear, but when I said "less close" I meant in a romantic way, not in a general friendship way)

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The-world-is-quiet-here

Yeah, I'm not very good at that. I tend to keep going until it doesn't work anymore.

I think I would like having a romantic relationship with my friends. I don't know what that says about me.

(I understood that.)

Thank you so much for replying and everything! :)

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McDoogledork

I think it says you like having close relationships, and that's a great thing. If that works for you, without you getting hurt, then that's awesome.

And no problem, it's been fun talking with you. :)

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The-world-is-quiet-here

We (my crush and I) have been texting more. . . Apparently she was/is flirting with me? (According to my other friend)

I had no idea that was flirting.

I'm not as worried about the getting hurt part as I should be. That's the thing.

Also, I learned that she doesn't identify as straight.

*insert ALL the feelings*

Any thoughts or advice?

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I mean if she isn't straight and it seems she's flirting back, maybe she likes you too!

Think over your differnt options and outcomes, and do what you believe that you'll regret the least.

I think that, in the end, if she doesn't have the same feelings for you, it will be impossible for you not to get her, whether or not you ended up telling her that you like her. But at lease if you do tell her there's that possibility she feels the same and you gets this awesome happy ending.

Or who knows, maybe she does feel the same and she'll confess that to you first.

By the way how did you find out that she doesn't identify as straight? Does she know about how you identify?

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The-world-is-quiet-here

Yeah, maybe! That's what I'm hoping. :)

I think I'll just wait for now and see if she says something. I might subtly ask her about it. I'm not sure yet.

Yeah, she kind of told me and then I asked her, just to clarify.

She does know (unless she forgot by now). I told her when I started our friendship.

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