Jump to content

Hire a escort [TMI]


Lord Jade Cross

Recommended Posts

I can kind of sympathize with the feeling here. I'm demisexual so I have been in relationships where I have had sex and enjoyed it, and sometimes I miss having that and wonder if maybe I should just try to start having sex again and see if I like it even without the relationship and the connection. I don't think I would like it, but there is always the uncertainty, and the idea that at least trying it would take me a step closer to resolving the uncertainty.

From what you've said, I think you probably wouldn't enjoy hiring an escort any more than I think that I would. It sounds like you are maybe a non-libidoist? I think usually the asexuals who can enjoy sex will at least have a libido. Without a libido, some people may still get pleasure from making their partner happy - but I think you would be unlikely to find that with an escort.

How do you imagine yourself feeling afterward? Happy? Neutral? Disgusted? Worried? Something else? I can see the appeal of feeling more certain about your orientation, but you should also consider less appealing responses that you might have. (I know I probably wouldn't feel positively about such an experience... but it could still potentially be a good experience for you, if that is how you think you might feel about it.)
It also sounds like maybe part of you is worried that being asexual means there is something wrong with you, which you should try to fix? If you are not personally distressed by the idea of never having sex, there's no reason why you have to have sex. You don't have to prove that you are asexual; your feelings on the matter are proof enough. It's kind of like... if my friends had a game they really liked playing, and I learned about how it was played and said "that doesn't sound fun to me; I just don't like that kind of game." It's possible that if I played the game I would find out that I was wrong and I actually would like it. It's possible that I wouldn't like it but would still be willing to play it once in a while because my friends had so much fun with it. It's possible that I would feel like I had to at least give the game a shot because everyone else seemed to enjoy it so much. It's possible that I would try the game and hate it so much that I would refuse to ever play it again. All of these things are possible, and it's true that I can't entirely be certain of which one will happen unless I try the game. But... it's still perfectly valid to just leave it at "that doesn't sound like fun to me and I would rather spend my time, money, and energy on something else that does sound fun to me."

...Anyway, that got a little long. Hopefully you got something out of it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I've paid someone before, but I didn't enjoy and it didn't really answer anything. In fact, it just left me feeling even more confused. Yet, I'm kind of glad that I did it.

Even though, I would personally advise against it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross

I can kind of sympathize with the feeling here. I'm demisexual so I have been in relationships where I have had sex and enjoyed it, and sometimes I miss having that and wonder if maybe I should just try to start having sex again and see if I like it even without the relationship and the connection. I don't think I would like it, but there is always the uncertainty, and the idea that at least trying it would take me a step closer to resolving the uncertainty.

From what you've said, I think you probably wouldn't enjoy hiring an escort any more than I think that I would. It sounds like you are maybe a non-libidoist? I think usually the asexuals who can enjoy sex will at least have a libido. Without a libido, some people may still get pleasure from making their partner happy - but I think you would be unlikely to find that with an escort.

How do you imagine yourself feeling afterward? Happy? Neutral? Disgusted? Worried? Something else? I can see the appeal of feeling more certain about your orientation, but you should also consider less appealing responses that you might have. (I know I probably wouldn't feel positively about such an experience... but it could still potentially be a good experience for you, if that is how you think you might feel about it.)

It also sounds like maybe part of you is worried that being asexual means there is something wrong with you, which you should try to fix? If you are not personally distressed by the idea of never having sex, there's no reason why you have to have sex. You don't have to prove that you are asexual; your feelings on the matter are proof enough. It's kind of like... if my friends had a game they really liked playing, and I learned about how it was played and said "that doesn't sound fun to me; I just don't like that kind of game." It's possible that if I played the game I would find out that I was wrong and I actually would like it. It's possible that I wouldn't like it but would still be willing to play it once in a while because my friends had so much fun with it. It's possible that I would feel like I had to at least give the game a shot because everyone else seemed to enjoy it so much. It's possible that I would try the game and hate it so much that I would refuse to ever play it again. All of these things are possible, and it's true that I can't entirely be certain of which one will happen unless I try the game. But... it's still perfectly valid to just leave it at "that doesn't sound like fun to me and I would rather spend my time, money, and energy on something else that does sound fun to me."

...Anyway, that got a little long. Hopefully you got something out of it.

I think I would feel something else, depending on the mindset I have at the time.

Part of the confusion stems from not being able to have a set mindset established yet. Meaning that at times, when I think about it, my reaction is "not a chance in hell" and then other days, especially if I have not been having a hectic day, i think to myself "maybe it really wouldnt be that bad". However, all the time Ive spent simulating it, the only question that always comes to mind is "Wait, where was I supposed to feel good about this again?"

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross

I've paid someone before, but I didn't enjoy and it didn't really answer anything. In fact, it just left me feeling even more confused. Yet, I'm kind of glad that I did it.

Even though, I would personally advise against it.

What made you glad you did it?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't say I'll be much help with this question as I've never had sex, and have never really wanted to on my own will. As in, every time I thought about having sex it was out of a weird sense of duty to my family, and my community, and an attempt to be normal. The idea just repulsed me too much in the end despite finding some people attractive.

So, nah, never hired an escort...never would.

Link to post
Share on other sites

One of my closest friends is an escort. She approaches every encounter on an individual basis with the goal of making the person feel valued and comfortable. She doesn't always have sex with the person she sees and she usually acts kind of like a sex therapist or just somebody to talk to and help. If you want to go the escort way, really make sure that there are proper boundaries so that it won't be a traumatizing experience.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 weeks later...
newMasturbator

Well, hiring prostitutes can be a way to explore your sexuality. For instance, I tried threesome, different ethnic groups, physically different women, different acts, all to figure out what gets me off. It provides some benefits over a partner, but I think it is overall better to try stuff with your partner. You can take all day if you want to. You can shamelessly try SM , toys , anal, whatever. Unless you are completely non-sexual, there must be something that gets you off. You don't need to feel sexual attraction for that.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross

Ive experimented with a few toys. Nothing so far that I could say that makes me feel satisfaction, or at least not in the way Ive heard others describing it as a great relaief.

Ive considered this approach but so far, it hasnt really excited me enough to try it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Artistofnoname

I wouldn't do it if I were you it is illegal and very dangerous. That so-called "escort" could end up being an undercover cop and you could be arrested.

They can also decide to rob/kill you or they could have an STD that you would have for the rest of your life.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...