Miss Wrong Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 What's the difference between being asexual (not experiencing sexual attraction) and non-libido (not having a sex drive)?I grew up believing to be heterosexual and sort of just waiting for the day for puberty to come and for sexuality to strike me. But I'm in college and I'm.. still waiting for that day which seems now like its not coming. It seems that my sex drive is low to none, so how do I know if I'm asexual if I have no desire to have sex in the first place? What would it mean to be heterosexual non-libido as opposed to just asexual? Can I experience sexual attraction without a sex drive? Or does being non-libido default me to asexual? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre/Ex/Machina Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Libido does not determine your orientation, sexual attraction does. If you are not sexually attracted to anyone, then you are asexual. Also, Libido = drive for sex, Sexual Attraction = Direction that drive is geared to. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 It's possible that all nonlibidoists are automatically aces because they don't feel anything sexual. Maybe it's not always the case. When in doubt I listen to my gut feeling, which tells me that I don't want to go any further (sexually) with anyone, not even with the people I'm dating. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre/Ex/Machina Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 It's possible that all nonlibidoists are automatically aces because they don't feel anything sexual. Maybe it's not always the case. When in doubt I listen to my gut feeling, which tells me that I don't want to go any further (sexually) with anyone, not even with the people I'm dating. This could be problematic as you are seemingly imply that all Aces are divorced from sex/sexuality. This is why most don't equate libido to orientation. Just my 2 cents. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 It's possible that all nonlibidoists are automatically aces because they don't feel anything sexual. Maybe it's not always the case. When in doubt I listen to my gut feeling, which tells me that I don't want to go any further (sexually) with anyone, not even with the people I'm dating. This could be problematic as you are seemingly imply that all Aces are divorced from sex/sexuality. This is why most don't equate libido to orientation. Just my 2 cents. Huh? Even though I said that all nonlibidoists might be aces (not necessarily, but it would make sense), I never said that all aces have to be nonlibidoists. In fact the majority of AVEN members has a libido. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tenara Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 It's possible that all nonlibidoists are automatically aces because they don't feel anything sexual. Maybe it's not always the case. When in doubt I listen to my gut feeling, which tells me that I don't want to go any further (sexually) with anyone, not even with the people I'm dating. Ooh! I've got a new label for myself now. Non libidoist. I like that one. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Torquil Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 What's the difference between being asexual (not experiencing sexual attraction) and non-libido (not having a sex drive)? I grew up believing to be heterosexual and sort of just waiting for the day for puberty to come and for sexuality to strike me. But I'm in college and I'm.. still waiting for that day which seems now like its not coming. It seems that my sex drive is low to none, so how do I know if I'm asexual if I have no desire to have sex in the first place? What would it mean to be heterosexual non-libido as opposed to just asexual? Can I experience sexual attraction without a sex drive? Or does being non-libido default me to asexual? There is a psychiatric diagnosis called hypoactive sexual desire disorder where there are people who are heterosexual (e.g.), but experience low libido. The important point though is that this causes them distress. In contrast, a lifelong lack of desire for partnered sex, as in asexuality, rules out the diagnosis. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre/Ex/Machina Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 It's possible that all nonlibidoists are automatically aces because they don't feel anything sexual. Maybe it's not always the case. When in doubt I listen to my gut feeling, which tells me that I don't want to go any further (sexually) with anyone, not even with the people I'm dating. This could be problematic as you are seemingly imply that all Aces are divorced from sex/sexuality. This is why most don't equate libido to orientation. Just my 2 cents. Huh? Even though I said that all nonlibidoists might be aces (not necessarily, but it would make sense), I never said that all aces have to be nonlibidoists. In fact the majority of AVEN members has a libido. I suppose I misread you, apologies. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
catnipQuintessence Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 For the record, there's a thread for non-libidoist asexuals over here! http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/118371-a-new-thread-for-non-libidoist-asexuals/ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Libido refers to masturbation so it's actually possible for a sexual person to not masturbate/be a non-libidoist. Some people can only get pleasure from sex and not masturbation thus it wouldn't work if they tried or the pay off isn't as intense. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Wrong Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 I'm worried that I might have something wrong with me to have no-libido rather than me actually being asexual. I don't know enough about either to tell the difference. I like, desire to have libido, but I just don't. Nor have I ever been sexual attracted to someone. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Wrong Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 Libido does not determine your orientation, sexual attraction does. If you are not sexually attracted to anyone, then you are asexual. Also, Libido = drive for sex, Sexual Attraction = Direction that drive is geared to. If you have no drive in the first place, does that mean there is not direction it is geared toward if it doesn't exist in the first place? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
catnipQuintessence Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Libido does not determine your orientation, sexual attraction does. If you are not sexually attracted to anyone, then you are asexual. Also, Libido = drive for sex, Sexual Attraction = Direction that drive is geared to. If you have no drive in the first place, does that mean there is not direction it is geared toward if it doesn't exist in the first place? I'm pretty sure it's impossible to have a vector without direction AND velocity so like... that would be the exception to what Dark Ace said, kind of. We non-libidoists do seem to be asexuals by default. Unless anyone has a specific counterexample??? (apologies for probably unnecessary physics metaphor but I think it works ) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Qloshae Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Problem as I see it is that people get stuck on what it is not rather than what it is. Asexuality is the lack of a sexual attraction. To put it in perspective, if you see a cute puppy and you just want to cuddle with it, you have a sensual attraction to the puppy. An asensual person would never experience the sensation of wanting physical contact with the puppy. That does not mean they can't do it or can't enjoy it, they are just not attracted to do it. Attraction - The force by which one object attracts another. Asexual does not mean that you are averse to the idea of sex. That said, some asexuals are sex averse. Averse - having a strong feeling of opposition, antipathy, repugnance, etc.; opposed. Like Autumn Season said however, if you do not have a libido, it can pretty much be automatically assumed that you lack a sexual attraction as well as you lack the foundation of what is required to experience a desire for sex and especially sexual attraction which is a further step beyond desire for sex. I would say: Libido -> Sexual Desire -> Sexual Attraction To be asexual it needs to be at least like this: Libido -> Sexual Desire -> Sexual Attraction As each of the following is dependent on the other, if you lack a libido it is like this: Libido -> Sexual Desire -> Sexual Attraction Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Plectrophenax Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 I'm worried that I might have something wrong with me to have no-libido rather than me actually being asexual. I don't know enough about either to tell the difference. I like, desire to have libido, but I just don't. Nor have I ever been sexual attracted to someone. Biologically speaking, there basically is something 'wrong' [i.e. non-functional] with you. But it's something non-essential to individual life and does not at all hinder physical health, so it's one of the errancies of biological makeup that need not necessarily concern us. That is, unless they do concern us, and as far as I'm aware there is medication to be had for treating low libido [check 'flibanserin' for example, though if I recall it has rather strong side-effects and may not be advisable] that you may want to look into. But it seems as though your worry is geared towards the simple absence of libido itself, not the absence of sexual drive that a libido entails [but correct me if I'm wrong]. If that's the case, you really need not feel 'incomplete' or any such thing. There are quite a few people with biological 'hiccups' that they do perfectly well with. Like Torquil pointed out, it's about sensing distress. I hope, if this is what you feel, you seek professional [medical or psychological] advice. If it isn't, then all the better. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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