TheArronaut Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Does anybody have any idea what the hell hate sex is about? Not even just that, but you know that trope where Person A and Person B absolutely cannot get along, they hate each other, they fight like cats and dogs, and it's called Unresolved Sexual Tension?!!!! I see this everywhere is media, I know the trope inside and out, and yet I still cannot make it connect to any real-world experience. When someone insults me, or I hate someone, I do not want to take them back to my place and cuddle with them. What is the thought process behind this? Does it happen real-world at all? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I dunno know of anyone ever having hate sex with anyone in real life, but I have seen that trope everywhere. In fact it seems to be the other way around in real life, sometimes hate coming from sex. I guess society thinks of it like "they love each other, but they can't express their feelings for each other, so in frustration they act like they hate each other." And that must be "cute" so people think it ends up being resolved with sex or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Lost247365 Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 The thought process is that opposites attract and there is evidence that it does happen in the real world. People and animals have been shown to be attracted toward potential mates with genes different from their own. It increases genetic diversity and helps ensure the survival of the species.So it is somewhat rooted in reality. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre/Ex/Machina Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 When you hate someone the very thought of even being around them makes you sick, when they make you sick they are now taboo in your eyes. When something is taboo there is now a temptation to do things relating to it. With that rise in tension it makes you want to relieve yourself. Ergo , hate sex. You are not sexually attracted to the person but the situation itself is arousing. Link to post Share on other sites
Wyrmcraft Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I don't think a lot of cuddling goes on, hate sex is where all that dislike turns into a teeth gnashing, nails into back, violent session rather than anything as sedate and nice as cuddling. The tension relief is probably very healthy, but I am a demi and can't ever see myself in this situation, Link to post Share on other sites
Batman's Ace Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 So... ...if people adore each other and want to spend as much time as possible together, that means they're hot for each other. But... ...if people despise each other and want to spend as little time as possible together...that means they're hot for each other? I don't know if I should be laughing or not. Does it get any more backwards? Is there actually ANY OPTION for people to genuinely dislike each other? It seems like "I like you" means "wanna fuck?" and "I hate you" means "wanna fuck?", so what should people be saying when they actually don't want to have sex? Sounds like great fuel for the "no means yes" idiocy. Link to post Share on other sites
TheArronaut Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 I don't think a lot of cuddling goes on, hate sex is where all that dislike turns into a teeth gnashing, nails into back, violent session rather than anything as sedate and nice as cuddling. The tension relief is probably very healthy, but I am a demi and can't ever see myself in this situation, I know, but I don't desire sex in any form, and I was trying to relate the situation to myself in terms I can understand. I failed Link to post Share on other sites
Purnkin Spurce Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I saw this one hate sex scene in true blood and it was really fucking disturbing. One character absolutely despised the other, while the other was completely obsessed. I thought it was the weirdest form of hate sex because he also turned her head all the way around backwards (she's a vampire btw) and he just straight up fucked her out of pure hate. I don't get it. Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Damned if I know. Sexuals do and say some things that completely baffle me. Link to post Share on other sites
UncommonNonsense Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 This *has* to be just an 'in the movies' thing! It can't be real, right? People just don't work that way, emotionally. It makes no sense! Link to post Share on other sites
That asexual guy Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I've never heard of "hate sex." Kind of sounds a little like rape to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Safara Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 A study in 2008 showed that the areas of the brain that are activated by the emotion of hate for an individual are the same or overlap with those areas of the brain activated by romantic love. Which probably has something to do with the hate sex thing. Too lazy to link it but if you google love hate area of brain there are plenty of reports on the study. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Did i just read about hate sex??? *cleans glasses* Wow Link to post Share on other sites
dandelionfluff Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I watch a lot of romance dramas and the common plot trope is for the main female and male to hate each other at first, bicker with each other all the time, but somehow still get jealous when see each other with another man or woman. Because if a guy and girl hate each other, it must mean they like each other secretly, right? They main couple always wind up in situations in which they have to be around each other, like living together, working together, etc. in fact I am watching a Taiwanese drama in which the main pair live with each other and work in the same place, yet still hate each other! And yet, the man gets jealous whenever the girl is around another man...but he's not supposed to like her. In fact, he's supposed to be this cold, emotionless, detail-orientated straight laced guy. He even banned relationships and love in the company (he's the boss) because he think it interferes with work. By all means you could say this character is an aromantic. However I believe in later episodes they'll probably introduce an ex-girlfriend (as usual). Knowing these dramas they'll of course get over their love-hate relationship and get married in the end lol. The way I see it, two people can hate each other but still be sexually attracted to each other? Just like you can love someone and not be sexually attracted to them at all. Ultimately if it's two consenting adults and no abusive dynamics are involved I really don't care. Link to post Share on other sites
Kalyke Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I think it is part of the "two brains" thing. The brain in their skull hates, the brain in between their legs would hump a hole in a wall if it could get away with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Dizzard Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I don't get that either. It almost seems like some kind of joke whenever it happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 It sounds to me like a variation on Stockholm Syndrome. In this case you become sexually attracted to your foe, as opposed to empathising/ bonding to them Link to post Share on other sites
Member54880 Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 I've heard of it before. It's still hard for me to understand the reasoning for why it happens, but one I've heard of is when someone thinks that sex is a "dirty" thing, and they hate someone, so they think it is fit that they inflict it on someone they hate. But is it, or can it mutual when it happens like that? I think the idea that two people who hate each other must want to have sex is ridiculous though. I've also heard of a bickering couple who hate each other, but are still sexually attracted to each other, and the "hate sex" becomes "make-up sex", but I don't know how realistic that is. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyNobody Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 I actually like reading stories about two people who fight getting together romantically or sexually, and there are a couple reasons why it sometimes works. 1. Love and strong hate/rivalry are both very strong emotions and can often mirror each other. An obsession with the target is the primary similarity, but love and hate can result in pursuit of the target, a search for things that will get a reaction out of the target, a study of the target's weaknesses... And then there's the fact that if you hate someone enough to think about them that much, then it might not always be their bad points. In understanding them fully to find out their weaknesses, their good points might weaken the hate and result in attraction - which is embarrassing to admit for most people with an enemy, so the display of dislike continues. 2. Adrenaline is often a factor when people are angry. With loud and energetic bickering, both parties must release their energy somewhere, and physically is often the most efficient. Additionally, logic flies out the window when one is angry. If both parties avoid the most obvious method of resolution (violence) and don't choose to get away from each other to work out their rage separately, sex can not only be a very physical method of expending energy and also allows for displays of dominance that are more "productive" for a person than breaking knuckles on the other person's face. 3. People who hate each other are usually similar in some ways, even if it's just in being bullheaded enough to hold onto their grudge. But often - at least in fiction - the reasons they hate each other are often because of personality traits they themselves possess, in a case of the person they really can't stand is themselves. So if they can even subconsciously see past the fight, they have something to bond over. 4. Acting annoyed can often be an immature response to attraction. It's one that I had when I was a teenager - when I got my occasional crushes, I would act unusually annoyed with them because I was awkward and embarrassed and I didn't know what to do with those romantic feelings. Also, if someone is desperate or immature enough, getting someone's attention by picking on them is hardly unheard of. In the end, though, the depictions in media probably aren't rooted in anything so complicated. It's primarily just based on "These two characters are always paying attention to each other, so who cares if it's negative attention? Let's get them in at least a sexual relationship, even if the plot won't allow for a romantic one!" Link to post Share on other sites
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