familyguyfan123 Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 Hi I'm a 17 year old female and I feel like I'm kind of different. I like boys but I get attracted to them rarely and when it happens, its a full-on obsession and lasts about a year. I have only liked 5 boys in my life, two of which are celebrities. I definitely couldn't fancy two boys at the same time. I fantasise about having sex with them and it feels nice. I can't get attracted from looks alone; the personality has to be good too. This is pretty much normal I assume. But what isn't normal is the next thing. When I masturbate, I don't think about the current boy I fancy at all. In fact, that would be a mood-killer. I think about other people having sex, usually made-up characters in my head, male and female, or female and female. Being really really dirty and taboo. For this reason, porn is great. In my fantasy, the girl is often much younger than the guy. Like extremely young. This is shameful and disgusting. I am never in the fantasy. Thinking about this kind of thing, or seeing naked pictures of women arouses me and its an urgent arousal that I must deal with immediately. Another thing - when I was 10, I was reading a magazine article about a girl who was molested by a parent and it was quite graphic and I found myself getting aroused, although at the time I had no idea what was going on. I don't understand this; it can't be normal to be aroused by this type of thing. I haven't told anyone else about this. It seems like when masturbating, most straight people think about sex with their partners/crushes. When I try it, it doesn't do anything for me. It's so weird. I do get the urge to have sex with the guy I like but I just don't get the urge to masturbate when thinking about it. He is older than me, a celebrity and dead. It's like there is two sides to my sexuality. The normal side, and the side I want no one to know about. Is anyone else like this? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I'd say what turns you on is actually pretty normal. Dominance is a common arousal trigger and so is simply talking about sex in detail. I know the parent and child part seems like it could have been the trigger but I'm not sure with those aforementioned common features. Even if it is then that's just what turns you on and no one can control that. The part that confuses me is that you sexually fantasize about your crushes (while also not getting aroused?). Everything else sounds ace. Perhaps you do this out of what the public has made you expect? Do you actually have an urge to do genital related things with your crush's body or just non-genital sensual things? Link to post Share on other sites
familyguyfan123 Posted August 28, 2015 Author Share Posted August 28, 2015 I'd say what turns you on is actually pretty normal. Dominance is a common arousal trigger and so is simply talking about sex in detail. I know the parent and child part seems like it could have been the trigger but I'm not sure with those aforementioned common features. Even if it is then that's just what turns you and and no one can control that. The part that confuses me is that you sexually fantasize about your crushes (while also not getting aroused?). Everything else sounds ace. Perhaps you do this out of what the public has made you expect? Do you actually have an urge to do genital related things with your crush's body or just non-genital sensual things? Hey, thanks for replying. Well I do get aroused when I sexually fantasise about my crush but it isn't as strong as when thinking about the other thing, and I have tried masturbating thinking about sex with my crush but my mind goes to the other thing. Yes I have an urge to do both sexual things and romantic things. Btw what does 'ace' mean, and what exactly sounds ace? Thanks again Link to post Share on other sites
scarletlatitude Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I'd agree with Star Bit. Sometimes the things that appear in our heads are not literally what we want in the real world. You may just like the thought of dominance, and the situations you think of are showing one person being dominant over the other. If you really think the behavior is not "normal" or if the behavior is starting to make you personally uncomfortable, maybe you would be best to find a professional who can help you to sort it all out. The AVEN definition of asexual is 'does not experience sexual attraction'. Aces could still have sex, but they have no sexual attraction. Remember also that there is an orientation called "gray" which is somewhere between the black and white of sexual and asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Ace is slang for Asexual after the first 3 letters being pronounced that way. Masturbatory habits aside, how would you react if you got IRL sexual reciprocation? Link to post Share on other sites
familyguyfan123 Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 I'd agree with Star Bit. Sometimes the things that appear in our heads are not literally what we want in the real world. You may just like the thought of dominance, and the situations you think of are showing one person being dominant over the other. If you really think the behavior is not "normal" or if the behavior is starting to make you personally uncomfortable, maybe you would be best to find a professional who can help you to sort it all out. The AVEN definition of asexual is 'does not experience sexual attraction'. Aces could still have sex, but they have no sexual attraction. Remember also that there is an orientation called "gray" which is somewhere between the black and white of sexual and asexual. Hi, its a relief to know I am normal. I saw another post on here its called 'autochorissexual/aegosexual heard of it?' and I can relate to that. It's when your fantasies only involve other people. I will think about gray. Link to post Share on other sites
familyguyfan123 Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 Ace is slang for Asexual after the first 3 letters being pronounced that way. Masturbatory habits aside, how would you react if you got IRL sexual reciprocation? Ah okay. Well when I realise someone is flirting with/being sexual with me, and I don't fancy them, I feel a tiny bit flattered but mostly scared. The last time I liked a real life guy was in 2012, since then it has been two celebrities; I hope this is normal? I think if I did fancy a guy and he sexually reciprocated I would feel scared but aroused, like I would want to kiss him or whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
scarletlatitude Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 I don't think I've ever liked a guy in real life. I can say that I've been attracted to 2 celebrities. Link to post Share on other sites
familyguyfan123 Posted August 30, 2015 Author Share Posted August 30, 2015 I don't think I've ever liked a guy in real life. I can say that I've been attracted to 2 celebrities. ah that's cool, I'm not alone. Can I ask who they are? Link to post Share on other sites
scarletlatitude Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I don't think I've ever liked a guy in real life. I can say that I've been attracted to 2 celebrities. ah that's cool, I'm not alone. Can I ask who they are? I know pictures weren't really necessary but I enjoyed the search. :P Link to post Share on other sites
familyguyfan123 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 I don't think I've ever liked a guy in real life. I can say that I've been attracted to 2 celebrities. ah that's cool, I'm not alone. Can I ask who they are? I know pictures weren't really necessary but I enjoyed the search. :P ahaha nice, I know hardly anything about Benedict Cumberbatch but he seems pretty cool and Daniel Radcliff is awesome ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
Sisky Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I always thought fantasies are meant for things you can't do/have in real life. :P I have exactly zero restraint when it comes to the things I fantasize about and I'm so used to it, I'd probably be more disturbed if those fantasies were "normal". (And with zero restraint I mean literally everything ranging from disturbing over illegal to outright impossible.) Link to post Share on other sites
scarletlatitude Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I think that is what fantasies are for a lot of people. (I can't speak for everyone.) My fantasies are definitely like that. For example, the two pictures I posted... we know that's never happening in real life. :P Link to post Share on other sites
skychevalier Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 I always thought fantasies are meant for things you can't do/have in real life. :P I have exactly zero restraint when it comes to the things I fantasize about and I'm so used to it, I'd probably be more disturbed if those fantasies were "normal". (And with zero restraint I mean literally everything ranging from disturbing over illegal to outright impossible.) I know this might be weird, but could you tell me more? I'm struggling with a "darker side," that's a bit different from OP's and I want to know I'm not alone. Also, do you ever get the urge to act in a "disturbing" way toward people you meet? I have a specific type of person that 'triggers' the darker side. I'm kinda scared of myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Sisky Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 I know this might be weird, but could you tell me more? I'm struggling with a "darker side," that's a bit different from OP's and I want to know I'm not alone. Also, do you ever get the urge to act in a "disturbing" way toward people you meet? I have a specific type of person that 'triggers' the darker side. I'm kinda scared of myself. No, that's not weird at all. :) Though I'm not sure what exactly you want to know. First, I should mention that my fantasies are never about real people, I have a ton of characters, and I'm very much into exploring the dynamics between them, and especially the effect of more extreme conditions. They're all fictional, so no real person gets hurt. (Don't know if that's what you wanted to know, but feel free to PM me if it gets too personal to discuss in public.) As for people I meet... no. I feel pretty much disconnected from real people (that includes characters played by real people), whenever I look at one there's nothing more than "yeah, that's a person". They can trigger dark thoughts, but that doesn't have anything to do with fantasies, just my general disdain for the world. The most disturbing thing I like to do to people is making offhand remarks that freak them out. :) Link to post Share on other sites
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