im really confused *tmi*

[ughhhh what am i]

What am I ?? I'm going to make a lsit a dif anything seems to jump out and scream anything, please say something because I've been confused voer my sexuality and romantic (and sensual, and any other ) identity for years. Oh and I'm srry if this is in the wrong forum, i don't know my way around the website yet...thanks ahead of time to anyone wh can help. Some of it is probaaly wayyyy tmi and I'm soryr but I don't know if I'm ace or not because some of this stuff is jsut so weird and confusing. and to start off, I'll say that I have never had sex before and I'm not really sure that i ever want to, not for myself.

• I think about sex a lot, i enjoy reading erotica, I self pleasure on a regualr basis and think about specific people while I do---but I'm not picky, and soemtimes feel like I jsut need to see a face or something to create a 'scene'. I've never actually met a person who I think I would actually have sex with, or want to

• I enjoy the thought of pleasuring someone else, bt I don't wnat to have sex for my own pleasure/I'm uncomfoartable with the idea of someone pleasuring me and find that aspect of it disgusting unless it were coincidental to the situation that my body responded.

• I have experiemented with watching porn and find that my favrite part of the entire thing, is watching/hearing the man orgasm (I say 'man' because most the time the women's repsonse is, "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and it;s overtly jsut.... unnatural, ya know) and I enjoy something about the reflexive grunt or groan.

• I'm "seeing" someone right now (not really though) and when we trade pcitures, I'll ask to see a picture of cum on his hand after he masturbates because again, I jsut really like the thoguht of other people pleasuring themselves or recieving pleasure ?? That's about as close to bodily fluids as I will get, not sure how i'd react if it was real life

• I am sometimes very sex repusled and mnay of the things with actual sex disgustes me (kissing, etc.) and even though I have a libido I don't nessessarily want to have sex, jsut to deal with it on my own in a quick no-fuss manner.

• I find dating to be etrememly unnatural for me and I have no desire to ever be in a serious relationship. I prefer the thought of living alone to the one of sharing my space. in fact I don't even consider the latter an option. I am a very private and 'lone wolf' sort, but it feels like it goes further than just being a loner.

• Handholding, kissing, cooing, pet names, dating/in general, makes me feel.... agressive? Like it makes me so uncomfortable that it feels like an anger is (actually) buildign up in me like I'm going to explode.

• I like hugs, but only from specific people and I don't like to be touched any mroe than a tap on the shoulder. But.... I like to be spooned and don't mind sleeping in the same bed as someone else.

• When I fantasize situations with an anonymous person (I often think about a prospective person who would undnerstand me perfectly, and so they're always in those thoughts) I will think about: pleasuring them and being held by them, but the 'relationship' isnt anymore than a friendship that turns slightly sexual/sensual at night.

• My ultimate, ultimate fantasy is.... to go over to someones house and end up sleeping in the same bed as them. That's it.

• I'm not relaly picky about which sex or gender this person would be but I definitly find myself aesthetically attracted to a certain 'genre' or style.

• Naked bodies don't excite me and I don't find anythign sexual about nudity in general (in fact, somtimes nudity makes me look away) but I think bodies can be interesting/pretty to look at

• I'm turned on (actually, sometimes I can't get through a whole debate without having to 'deal with' myself) by intellectual people/conversations that are challenging, or by people who i can learn something from, but I don't have a desire to always be in a sexual situation with that person (and if I do, it's back again to the one-sided pleasure of only them, almsot like gratitude or wanting that person to feel good??)

sorry for the spelling it's late and Im trying to stay awake xx

[MissLunarWolf]

Do you feel sexual attraction for anyone? Do you feel that pull or desire to do sexual things to people that you know in real life?

[Peachyy]

Being ace literally, in its simplest form: not having sexual attraction.

I get the feeling that you definitely could be asexual, or, that you are not asexual and have divided your sexual attraction up into bits. Im not really sure what you mean when you say that you want to have sex just to please someone--does that mean you are not attracted sexually to them, or are you less sexually attracted as much as you want to "make them feel good" ? there are many asexual people who enjoy sex, or feel comfortable having sex with someone under the right circumstances (all while still not being attracted to the other person in a sexual manner).

You sound like you could be aromantic, though. But you said you like sensual activities, I assume not im front of others/in the right circumstances, and that doesnt necessarily mean anything towards your romantic identification.

Ugh there's a word for being turned on by smarts... Sapiosexual?? Dont shoot me, Im on my phone. But i think that's what its called. I experience a little bit of this myself. Im not really sure how that ties in with being ace.... maybe someone else can help.

[Tototodile]

No-one here can tell you exactly what labels apply to you without entirely knowing what you're like, but they can tell you what they think so you can make your own judgement on how to define yourself.

That being said, you sound to me like a Libidoist asexual with some sapiosexual (or sapioerotic?) preferences, and you definitely sound aromantic. Anyway, good luck on figuring out your sexual identity.

[LadyNobody]

I'd suggest looking up autochorissexuality. It's still a term that's a bit argued over, but I'd say that what you're describing sounds a bit like it.