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Am I Asexual If..?


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1) Am I asexual if I get turned on by girls but have no desire to do anything sexually with them even kissing?

2) I grew up in a place where they shame people for having sexual desires so I don't know if I don't have any sexual desires just because how I grew up or if I'm really asexual (if you say that from no. 1)?

3) I'm in love with someone and yeah i find her pretty and beautiful but again I have no desire to do anything with her?

And can you please tell me what age do non-asexual people start having sexual desires.

Thanks.

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McDoogledork

I wasn't sure if I was asexual either because I can get turned on, but at the end of the day I don't want to have sex with anyone. It wasn't until I was told that "Asexual people are someone who doesn't feel sexual attraction to anyone of any gender. Sexual attraction can be defined as the Innate desire to have partnered sex," that I felt comfortable identifying as asexual. I think just saying that asexuals are people who do not experience sexual attraction doesn't fully cover what asexuality is, because to me attraction and desire are two different things. I can find someone attractive, but still have no desire to have sex with them.

I prefer to define Asexual as "A person who experiences little or no sexual attraction and/or little or no desire for partnered sex"

Hope that was helpful.

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Arousal as a result of someone's presence is an innate SEXUAL response. Choosing whether or not to act on said arousal is exactly that - a choice. If I was aroused purely by someone's presence but didn't want to do anything about it with them (or anyone else that I was aroused by for that matter) that would still make me sexual but celibate by choice, not asexual.

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McDoogledork

It's different. Even if I find someone attractive I don't want to have sex with them, it's not a choice it's just how I feel. I don't want partnered sex.

More specifically, the term I've come to feel suits my feelings best is Autochorisexualism.

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1) Am I asexual if I get turned on by girls but have no desire to do anything sexually with them even kissing?

Sexual attraction (getting turned on) without really feeling sexual desire (desire to have sex with someone) can be considered as grey-a. Some people don't even see it as grey-a but as asexual. In the end, choose which label you feel the most comfortable with.

2) I grew up in a place where they shame people for having sexual desires so I don't know if I don't have any sexual desires just because how I grew up or if I'm really asexual (if you say that from no. 1)?

It might be, it might not. Only you know and time may tell you the truth.

3) I'm in love with someone and yeah i find her pretty and beautiful but again I have no desire to do anything with her?

"No desire to do anything", do you mean only sexual things, or even simply being in a relationship with her ?

And can you please tell me what age do non-asexual people start having sexual desires.

There is no set age, it usually starts with puberty, or sometimes even before.

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1) Am I asexual if I get turned on by girls but have no desire to do anything sexually with them even kissing?

Sexual attraction (getting turned on) without really feeling sexual desire (desire to have sex with someone) can be considered as grey-a. Some people don't even see it as grey-a but as asexual. In the end, choose which label you feel the most comfortable with.

2) I grew up in a place where they shame people for having sexual desires so I don't know if I don't have any sexual desires just because how I grew up or if I'm really asexual (if you say that from no. 1)?

It might be, it might not. Only you know and time may tell you the truth.

3) I'm in love with someone and yeah i find her pretty and beautiful but again I have no desire to do anything with her?

"No desire to do anything", do you mean only sexual things, or even simply being in a relationship with her ?

And can you please tell me what age do non-asexual people start having sexual desires.

There is no set age, it usually starts with puberty, or sometimes even before.

3)both

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Arousal as a result of someone's presence is an innate SEXUAL response. Choosing whether or not to act on said arousal is exactly that - a choice. If I was aroused purely by someone's presence but didn't want to do anything about it with them (or anyone else that I was aroused by for that matter) that would still make me sexual but celibate by choice, not asexual.

Actually no. She has a sexual responce, yes, but no sexual impulse/praposed option to do sexual things to them going off in her brain; which is not sexual attraction nor a choice. Attraction is literally a pull. So it would typically go like this to an allosexual: arousal > pull to do something sexual to them/sexual attraction > desire to act on said impulse/sex-drive. She does not have the last two. Sexual arousal typically triggers sexual attraction in allosexual people but that's not the case for asexuals.

@OP

Yes to all 3. Number 2 could be coincidental. If you're christian then that's 2/3 of the U.S. (ie. making it a very likely overlap). Is #three talking about romantic attraction or another type of attraction?

Allosexual people actually begin to feel sexual attraction in late elementary; it's in junior high to early high school that they clarify the vague emotion they felt before. So 15 should be the normal end of the late bloomer mark.

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Arousal as a result of someone's presence is an innate SEXUAL response. Choosing whether or not to act on said arousal is exactly that - a choice. If I was aroused purely by someone's presence but didn't want to do anything about it with them (or anyone else that I was aroused by for that matter) that would still make me sexual but celibate by choice, not asexual.

Actually no. He has a sexual responce, yes, but no sexual impulse to do sexual things to them; which is not sexual attraction nor a choice. And yes, acting on something is a choice, but as i said, there isn't even a "desired option" being praposed in his brain. Attraction is literally a pull. So it would typically go like this to an allosexual: arousal > pull to do something sexual to them/sexual attraction > desire to act on said impulse/sex-drive. He does not have the last two. Sexual arousal typically triggers sexual attraction in allosexual people but that's not the case for asexuals.

@OP

Yes to all 3. Number 2 could be coincidental. If you're christian then that's 2/3 of the U.S. (ie. making it a very likely overlap). Is #three talking about romantic attraction or another type of attraction?

Allosexual people actually begin to feel sexual attraction in late elementary; it's in junior high to early high school that they clarify the vague emotion they felt before. So 15 should be the normal end of the late bloomer mark.

my pronouns are she/her and they/them

and I'm romantically in love with her but i dont want to do anything sexually with her or be in a relationship (for other personal reasons) and I'm turning 15 in 3 months by the way

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Arousal as a result of someone's presence is an innate SEXUAL response. Choosing whether or not to act on said arousal is exactly that - a choice. If I was aroused purely by someone's presence but didn't want to do anything about it with them (or anyone else that I was aroused by for that matter) that would still make me sexual but celibate by choice, not asexual.

Actually no. He has a sexual responce, yes, but no sexual impulse to do sexual things to them; which is not sexual attraction nor a choice. And yes, acting on something is a choice, but as i said, there isn't even a "desired option" being praposed in his brain. Attraction is literally a pull. So it would typically go like this to an allosexual: arousal > pull to do something sexual to them/sexual attraction > desire to act on said impulse/sex-drive. He does not have the last two. Sexual arousal typically triggers sexual attraction in allosexual people but that's not the case for asexuals.

@OP

Yes to all 3. Number 2 could be coincidental. If you're christian then that's 2/3 of the U.S. (ie. making it a very likely overlap). Is #three talking about romantic attraction or another type of attraction?

Allosexual people actually begin to feel sexual attraction in late elementary; it's in junior high to early high school that they clarify the vague emotion they felt before. So 15 should be the normal end of the late bloomer mark.

I like how you put the whole cascade thing. I have always wondered if allosexuals were aroused by each other's looks or personality, which is what I find that asexuals typically don't respond to. When you put it this way it's easy to understand!

If I was questioning before, I am no longer XD thanks for clearing it up.

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Arousal as a result of someone's presence is an innate SEXUAL response. Choosing whether or not to act on said arousal is exactly that - a choice. If I was aroused purely by someone's presence but didn't want to do anything about it with them (or anyone else that I was aroused by for that matter) that would still make me sexual but celibate by choice, not asexual.

Actually no. He has a sexual responce, yes, but no sexual impulse to do sexual things to them; which is not sexual attraction nor a choice. And yes, acting on something is a choice, but as i said, there isn't even a "desired option" being praposed in his brain. Attraction is literally a pull. So it would typically go like this to an allosexual: arousal > pull to do something sexual to them/sexual attraction > desire to act on said impulse/sex-drive. He does not have the last two. Sexual arousal typically triggers sexual attraction in allosexual people but that's not the case for asexuals.

@OP

Yes to all 3. Number 2 could be coincidental. If you're christian then that's 2/3 of the U.S. (ie. making it a very likely overlap). Is #three talking about romantic attraction or another type of attraction?

Allosexual people actually begin to feel sexual attraction in late elementary; it's in junior high to early high school that they clarify the vague emotion they felt before. So 15 should be the normal end of the late bloomer mark.

my pronouns are she/her and they/them

and I'm romantically in love with her but i dont want to do anything sexually with her or be in a relationship (for other personal reasons) and I'm turning 15 in 3 months by the way

T-T I'm sorry, I'm normally not so absant minded. I normally look. My bad. --If you don't want to be in any romantic relationships period then there's Aromantic or Gray-romantic.

@LadyParish

It depends on the person on what arouses them, the same goes for what triggers an allosexual's sexual attraction.

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Arousal as a result of someone's presence is an innate SEXUAL response. Choosing whether or not to act on said arousal is exactly that - a choice. If I was aroused purely by someone's presence but didn't want to do anything about it with them (or anyone else that I was aroused by for that matter) that would still make me sexual but celibate by choice, not asexual.

Actually no. He has a sexual responce, yes, but no sexual impulse to do sexual things to them; which is not sexual attraction nor a choice. And yes, acting on something is a choice, but as i said, there isn't even a "desired option" being praposed in his brain. Attraction is literally a pull. So it would typically go like this to an allosexual: arousal > pull to do something sexual to them/sexual attraction > desire to act on said impulse/sex-drive. He does not have the last two. Sexual arousal typically triggers sexual attraction in allosexual people but that's not the case for asexuals.

@OP

Yes to all 3. Number 2 could be coincidental. If you're christian then that's 2/3 of the U.S. (ie. making it a very likely overlap). Is #three talking about romantic attraction or another type of attraction?

Allosexual people actually begin to feel sexual attraction in late elementary; it's in junior high to early high school that they clarify the vague emotion they felt before. So 15 should be the normal end of the late bloomer mark.

my pronouns are she/her and they/them

and I'm romantically in love with her but i dont want to do anything sexually with her or be in a relationship (for other personal reasons) and I'm turning 15 in 3 months by the way

T-T I'm sorry, I'm normally not so absant minded. I normally look. My bad. --If you don't want to be in any romantic relationships period then there's Aromantic or Gray-romantic.

@LadyParish

It depends on the person on what arouses them, the same goes for what triggers an allosexual's sexual attraction.

its okay and thanks for correcting the post and no I'm panromantic there are some major things that are keeping me from having a relationship

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I'm in love with someone and yeah i find her pretty and beautiful but again I have no desire to do anything with her?

"No desire to do anything", do you mean only sexual things, or even simply being in a relationship with her ?
3)both

Lithromantic

Lithromantic is a term to describe a person who experiences romantic love but does not want their feelings to be reciprocated. Lithromantic people may or may not be ok with romantic relationships. Some accept reciprocated platonic love, or even romantic love, but does not find it necessary in a relationship.

The term "akoiromantic" has been suggested in place of "lithromantic", due to controversy of appropriativeness of lesbian culture. Another term is apromantic.

http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Lithromantic

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You said you don't want a relationship with her for other personal reasons, would your unwant for a relationship be the same if your crush was on a different person?

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You said you don't want a relationship with her for other personal reasons, would your unwant for a relationship be the same if your crush was on a different person?

no the problem isn't with her its just other stuff like my family and the term lithromantic doesnt fit me because like I said if the factors that are keeping me away from having a relationship with her i definetly would.

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