hollow_bullet Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 I have never really thought much of my sexuality, because I'm a female only romantically interested in males and I just assumed I was heterosexual. I knew I wasn't exactly like my friends and after looking into asexuality, I'm a bit more confused because of other types of orientations that fall under this umbrella such as aromantic, demisexual, and graysexual. I have had sex before, but it was very underwhelming. My last boyfriend was a very sexual person and would get angry/violent if I told him I didn't want to have sex. When we would have sex I would pretend to be into it and just wish it would be over. Sometimes he would stop if I just showed how truly disinterested I was, but would be angry at me for the rest of the day. When I lost my virginity it was because I was curious about what sex felt like, and afterwards I didn't feel any different or "emotional" like my friends had described when they lost theirs. I will highlight a few points about myself that make me believe I am asexual. If someone can confirm it would be much appreciated. 1. Never in my lifetime have I looked at someone and thought, "I'd like to have sex with them". 2. I acknowledge that people have nice physical features, but I don't find them to be "hot". I really don't have a concept of what a "hot" person is. 3. I don't feel the need to act out on sexual urges, I'd prefer to just masturbate and carry on with my day. 4. I haven't had sex in 6-7 months and it doesn't bother me one way or the other. 5. Although I couldn't care less about sex, I think it would be nice to date someone. 6. I never feel the need to have sex with someone. 7. I would still want to date, but without so much of the physical side.Any advice is much appreciated thanks! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LadyErzsebet Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Welcome to AVEN! I'm sorry your ex boyfriend was so terrible to you. I'm glad that relationship is over and you can hopefully find someone more respectful of you. While only you can determine if you are asexual, from the information you gave, it definitely sounds like you might be! If identifying as asexual is helpful to you, go for it! Again, welcome and I hope this is a great place for you to make friends and figure out things about yourself! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scarletlatitude Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 The labels you use are a decision that only you can make for yourself. :) Given what you said though, you definitely could be asexual. The AVEN definition is "no desire for sex" and what you said in #1 follows that. It is possible to be asexual and romantic. It is possible to be asexual and still find people aesthetically attractive or "pretty/handsome". Don't stress over what you are or aren't. When you find what makes sense to you, you can keep it. If you like, you can change your mind later. Every word you use to describe yourself is up to you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Your first point on the list is all the proof you need. Relationship wise there's romantic orientations. There are asexual dating sites and a meet up section on here (look for one in your area or create your own). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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