What the....?

[Tja]

According to the other thread, (Why does everyone assume asexual means no sex?), asexual has never stood for "no sex".

I find that hard to believe, but that's another topic of conversation.

This thread deals with questions:

So... I guess...I'm a Nosexual?...Notsexual?...HoHumsexual??...Humbugsexual?!?

Is there a designation that stands for no sex, or, not sexual? An actual designation that clearly, concisely and only, means not sexual.

[Hazelton]

As far as I know, asexuality purely means a lack of sexual attraction, not necessarily a lack of sex. No sex would be described as virginity or being a virgin, if you believe in that term. :) That's my understanding of it anyway, I hope I've understood correctly haha...

[Myssterry]

I don't get all the variants either. We could make up one. How about NOYN-asexual standing for Not On Your Nelly Asexual? Or NSWB Asexual - No Sex We're British Asexual? Maybe Lilac Asexual as opposed to a grey one?

[Tja]

MT - While I love, and I do mean LOVE, Not On Your Nelly, I was hoping for something more technical and official. :)

Hazeltoon - I'm afraid the virgin boat was launched long ago. Ended up wrecking, unfortunately. :P

If there isn't an official designation, perhaps we could make a list (a serious list ;)), then set up a poll for voting into the lexicon?

Edited August 19, 2015 by Tja

[Hazelton]

I don't get all the variants either. We could make up one. How about NOYN-asexual standing for Not On Your Nelly Asexual? Or NSWB Asexual - No Sex We're British Asexual? Maybe Lilac Asexual as opposed to a grey one?

'Like New - Still in Original Wrapping Asexual' could catch on. :P

[Tja]

I don't get all the variants either. We could make up one. How about NOYN-asexual standing for Not On Your Nelly Asexual? Or NSWB Asexual - No Sex We're British Asexual? Maybe Lilac Asexual as opposed to a grey one?

'Like New - Still in Original Wrapping Asexual' could catch on. :P

Silly person! :P I can't be designated a virgin! :P :P

[WünderBâhr]

Aside from celibate/abstinent, I don't know of any word that relays not having sex. Both come with heavy implications (and sometimes as part of how they're define) as being different than asexuality from restraint of participating in things that are seen as enjoyable, desired or wanted. We struggle enough to explain the differences between celibacy/abstinence and asexuality, as it is. Combining the two (though some do for practical purposes in language) labels can make it even more confusing for others to understand.

Sex-averse/sex-negative sort of bounce around it, with not participating in sex/sexual activities being somewhat implied, but it is still subjective to said individual. Both also come with the implications of ethical/moral perspectives, rather than mere lack of participation or inherent desire. There are sex-negative sexuals...

So.. distinction is important. Hrmn. I can understand why the need is felt to come up with a term that more clearly represents the percentage of asexuals who do not participate or engage in sex/sexual activities. As it still relates to the complex ideas involved around sexuality, it will be a difficult task to consider and achieve.

[Hazelton]

I don't get all the variants either. We could make up one. How about NOYN-asexual standing for Not On Your Nelly Asexual? Or NSWB Asexual - No Sex We're British Asexual? Maybe Lilac Asexual as opposed to a grey one?

'Like New - Still in Original Wrapping Asexual' could catch on. :P

Silly person! :P I can't be designated a virgin! :P :P

Haha, my apologies! How about 'incurious asexual' or 'insexual'?

[Tja]

I don't get all the variants either. We could make up one. How about NOYN-asexual standing for Not On Your Nelly Asexual? Or NSWB Asexual - No Sex We're British Asexual? Maybe Lilac Asexual as opposed to a grey one?

'Like New - Still in Original Wrapping Asexual' could catch on. :P

Silly person! :P I can't be designated a virgin! :P :P

Haha, my apologies! How about 'incurious asexual' or 'insexual'?

Much better! :P :D :lol:

[Tja]

I can't believe that Asexual is designated as not having sexual attraction, yet doesn't allow for someone not interested in sex! This is mind-boggling!

I'm not sex-repulsed. I don't have a physical, or mental, condition. I'm simply not interested in sex.

I mean, who made up this stuff? Why can't they come up with a term that means 'no sex'? Not in a derogatory way, of course.

All the pan-, aro-, allo-, sapio-, etc., and nothing for 'no sex'?!

[My alias]

.Humbugsexual?!?

Lol yes i love it! Actually my "preferred designation" Is *cough* PutyourfavoritenounrighinhereSexual... :D

[Telecaster68]

As a sexual male getting my head round the whole asexual thing since my wife now appears to be asexual, the whole micro taxonomy obsession seems problematic to me. To an outsider, it seems like the understandable urge to adopt an identity is fracturing the single, big concept till it gets too complicated for anyone to understand, which makes acceptance by already baffled outsiders so much harder.

I honestly don't see the point of going beyond 'asexual' and acknowledging that everyone has their own particular, shifting version of it.

Try searching YouTube for 'Monty Python people's front of judea'....

[Tja]

As a sexual male getting my head round the whole asexual thing since my wife now appears to be asexual, the whole micro taxonomy obsession seems problematic to me. To an outsider, it seems like the understandable urge to adopt an identity is fracturing the single, big concept till it gets too complicated for anyone to understand, which makes acceptance by already baffled outsiders so much harder.

I honestly don't see the point of going beyond 'asexual' and acknowledging that everyone has their own particular, shifting version of it.

Try searching YouTube for 'Monty Python people's front of judea'....

That's understandable.

My problem, is that there appears to be no place for me here, as asexual, apparently, stands for a sexual person. This makes no sense to me.

[Star Bit]

Wouldn't it just be Non-compromising Asexual? Asexual purely means no sexual attraction; they have no urge to have sex with anyone. People can react differently to things they don't reciprocate; some are indifferent, some are averse or repulsed, and others enjoy it but don't desire it. The orientation says nothing about compromise; some are ok with it and some aren't.

[Tja]

Wouldn't it just be Non-compromising Asexual?

Could you go into more detail, please? Are you designating Asexual as meaning no sex, and all the 'prefixes' attached to it, are compromises?

I'm not judging, or saying the myriad of designations are wrong. I'm genuinely curious.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

Why not just celibate asexual? Celibate's already in use and has a definite meaning, and leaves room for non-virgins.

[Lost247365]

The problem is that the prefix a- does not NECESSARILY mean opposite, but can ALSO mean without.

This similar to the problem that many atheists face.

Atheism means lacking theism and includes both people who lack a belief in any gods (but don't necessarily believe there is NO GOD) and those who actually believe there is no god(s). To remedy this, the designation of implicit and explicit atheism was developed. Implicit atheists being those who lack belief, while explicit would be those who actually believe that no gods exist.

So to apply this to Asexuality I guess you would call a person who simply lacks sexual desire/attraction (but is willing to have sex) an implicit asexual, and those who do not want sex in any way shape or form an explicit asexual.

Conversely, maybe give it a different prefix? Contra- means against, so maybe coin a term like contrasexual?

[Ricki]

Generally I ignore labels anyway because i can't be bothered to learn a million phrases that I'll never use.

But Hohumsexual Is the best label idea i've ever heard :')

[Tja]

Why not just celibate asexual? Celibate's already in use and has a definite meaning, and leaves room for non-virgins.

Celibates are sexuals who choose not to have sex. It's not a choice for me. I mean, I don't have to stop myself from having sex, I don't want/like it.

Wouldn't it just be Non-compromising Asexual? Asexual purely means no sexual attraction; they have no urge to have sex with anyone. People can react differently to things they don't reciprocate; some are indifferent, some are averse or repulsed, and others enjoy it but don't desire it. The orientation says nothing about compromise; some are ok with it and some aren't.

Thank you for elaborating. :)

My follow-up:

By your meaning for asexual, "they have no urge to have sex with anyone", this means no sex, yet people are saying that asexuals are sexual. Do you see my confusion?

[Tja]

The problem is that the prefix a- does not NECESSARILY mean opposite, but can ALSO mean without.

This similar to the problem that many atheists face.

Atheism means lacking theism and includes both people who lack a belief in any gods (but don't necessarily believe there is NO GOD) and those who actually believe there is no god(s). To remedy this, the designation of implicit and explicit atheism was developed. Implicit atheists being those who lack belief, while explicit would be those who actually believe that no gods exist.

So to apply this to Asexuality I guess you would call a person who simply lacks sexual desire/attraction (but is willing to have sex) an implicit asexual, and those who do not want sex in any way shape or form an explicit asexual.

Conversely, maybe give it a different prefix? Contra- means against, so maybe coin a term like contrasexual?

I like "contrasexual". :)

[Tja]

Ooo...maybe: Countersexual? Has a ring to it...

[dandelionfluff]

Since asexuals don't experience attraction, it is highly likely that they won't want sex, simply because the attraction or desire isn't there. The definition doesn't exclude people who choose not to have sex. I think that the term asexual is good enough for those who don't want to have sex (for whatever reasons) and those who do (for whatever reason). Not every asexual who chooses not to have sex is sex repulsed or averse or whatever. Why can't we just accept that the people who fall under the label of "asexual" are a diverse group of people who choose to do or not to do things on their own accord. If you don't have sex then you're an asexual who doesn't have sex. There are some asexuals who choose to have intercourse for the sake of their allosexual partner, or whatever reason. If asexual meant explicitly no sex, then that would leave out asexuals that are not virgins and may have spent years experiment or trying to follow society's ideals while struggling with their own identity.

If asexual means no sex at all, including the past, then I guess I would have to see myself out. Some of us took a while to get to this point of discovering who we actually are, and for that reason, may have engaged in sexual intercourse because that's what they thought was normal or expected of them. Should such people then not be included as asexual?

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I was under the impression celibate simply meant choosing not to have sex. I am in a way choosing not to because physically I could (to my knowledge); I just have no need to *shrugs*

[Tja]

I re-read the Overview for this site. It seems to imply, rather strongly, that asexuality means no sex. Maybe that's the interpretation I'm getting from it.

Perhaps, it is, simply, asexual. Much ado about nothing, I suppose. :P

[Telecaster68]

Couldn't help thinking of this. (Contains swearing, in case you're easily offended).

[Loken]

Why not just celibate asexual? Celibate's already in use and has a definite meaning, and leaves room for non-virgins.

Celibates are sexuals who choose not to have sex. It's not a choice for me. I mean, I don't have to stop myself from having sex, I don't want/like it.

Wouldn't it just be Non-compromising Asexual? Asexual purely means no sexual attraction; they have no urge to have sex with anyone. People can react differently to things they don't reciprocate; some are indifferent, some are averse or repulsed, and others enjoy it but don't desire it. The orientation says nothing about compromise; some are ok with it and some aren't.

Thank you for elaborating. :)

My follow-up:

By your meaning for asexual, "they have no urge to have sex with anyone", this means no sex, yet people are saying that asexuals are sexual. Do you see my confusion?

Yup. It comes down to agency. Say person A is asexual - does not have any urge for sex. Person B is sexual, and shows desire for A. B then makes sexual overtures to A. While A had no personal desire or intention of sex, A does get aroused by B's overtures. A and B have sex.

There are many people on the asexual spectrum who are so indifferent or repulsed by sex that they would not become aroused, or even if aroused would prefer no sex.

None of these reactions are wrong, but asexual can be a very broad term. Sort of like "gay" can mean "I am a man and I have sex with dudes, but I'll make out with ladies and I like boobs when I get drunk". Some people might call that person "bi-curious" but it's ultimately up to the individual to figure out what is in their own heart and what labels they feel fit best.

[Star Bit]

Why not just celibate asexual? Celibate's already in use and has a definite meaning, and leaves room for non-virgins.

Celibates are sexuals who choose not to have sex. It's not a choice for me. I mean, I don't have to stop myself from having sex, I don't want/like it.

Wouldn't it just be Non-compromising Asexual? Asexual purely means no sexual attraction; they have no urge to have sex with anyone. People can react differently to things they don't reciprocate; some are indifferent, some are averse or repulsed, and others enjoy it but don't desire it. The orientation says nothing about compromise; some are ok with it and some aren't.

Thank you for elaborating. :)

My follow-up:

By your meaning for asexual, "they have no urge to have sex with anyone", this means no sex, yet people are saying that asexuals are sexual. Do you see my confusion?

I repeat what i said in my previous comment; that answers your question. You're also taking "no desire" to mean its negative form of unwanting when it also means complete lack of in an indifferent way; desire does not exist but that does not mean it's meaning is in the negative zone.

[scarletlatitude]

I don't get all the variants either. We could make up one. How about NOYN-asexual standing for Not On Your Nelly Asexual? Or NSWB Asexual - No Sex We're British Asexual? Maybe Lilac Asexual as opposed to a grey one?

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[Tja]

Why not just celibate asexual? Celibate's already in use and has a definite meaning, and leaves room for non-virgins.

Celibates are sexuals who choose not to have sex. It's not a choice for me. I mean, I don't have to stop myself from having sex, I don't want/like it.

Wouldn't it just be Non-compromising Asexual? Asexual purely means no sexual attraction; they have no urge to have sex with anyone. People can react differently to things they don't reciprocate; some are indifferent, some are averse or repulsed, and others enjoy it but don't desire it. The orientation says nothing about compromise; some are ok with it and some aren't.

Thank you for elaborating. :)

My follow-up:

By your meaning for asexual, "they have no urge to have sex with anyone", this means no sex, yet people are saying that asexuals are sexual. Do you see my confusion?

I repeat what i said in my previous comment; that answers your question. You're also taking "not desire" to mean its negative form of unwanting when it also means complete lack of in an indifferent way; desire does not exist but that does not mean it's meaning is in the negative zone.

I'm just trying to have a coherent conversation. That means asking questions. I was hoping to clarify your point, for me, by engaging in a friendly exchange.

You're comment, obviously, does not answer my question, or I wouldn't have asked for more elaboration.

Sorry, if you're misinterpreting my views are taking a negative form. That's, unfortunately, you're misinterpretation.

I'm here to learn, just like everybody else. That entails collecting the opinions of others and forming one of my own.

Simple telling me what you think my comments mean does nothing to help that. But, thanks for the input. :)

[Star Bit]

I didn't intend my previous (or this current) comment to have a possibly rude tone. I was simply stating what would answer your question. But i don't know how else to word it past what I've already said so i guess I have nothing else i can say.