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Am I asexual?


AMBitiouslyCurious

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AMBitiouslyCurious

*Warning* *Topic contains graphic material that may be too much for some readers. Viewer descrestion is advised*

So, I'm trying to figure myself out. I'm 18 years old and have had several relationships. None of them have lasted very long because I never want to have sex with the guy. I'll kiss him but anytime that I've gone farther than that, I don't feel anything. Whenever I've had sex, I get wet to the point where I feel absolutely nothing and I feel no passion whatsoever. Asside from one guy, I've never enjoyed making out in anyway. I frequently masterbate but it doesn't matter what I watch, I'm not really turned on, it just feels good to touch myself, just not if someone else is doing it. I used to think that this was because I was sexually abused as a child but maybe I'm just not sexually attracted to anyone. Males or females. I long for that emotional contact of a boyfriend but I never have a want for sex. Any advice?

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jay williams

Even though I am a guy, most everything you write could apply to me.

One difference is that during sex I very briefly get good physical feelings, then very quickly there is a discharge, and I feel nothing after that.

Not much to tell. Not worth the bother. It seems so utterly pointless.

Men will actually pay for this? People experience the thrill of a lifetime from this?

As far as I am concerned, what you experience should be considered normal. But I guess it is not.

However, you are not alone! LOL

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Hi, curious! It's good to meet you. I am new to this whole idea (and forum!) as well. I'm a bit older than you (26) but I can really identify with what you're feeling, and I'm trying to figure out if I might be asexual and if so, what that implies for the way I am going to live my life and handle relationships. My thread is under this same Q&A category and is called "Might be asexual? Feeling lost" - if you want to check it out!

I too masturbate frequently (I have since a really young age) but don't have any sexual thoughts with it. I always assumed that because I enjoy masturbation I couldn't be asexual, but after doing some reading I realize that's not the case. Also, I too crave intimacy and romance and stuff, but just feel eh about the sex part of it. Apparently there is a huge spectrum of ways to identify yourself on the asexual scale. It's really interesting and everyone here has been really nice so far. I'm feeling a bit weird about all of it but it helps to know there is a support space like this where we can openly question stuff. :) Let me know if you ever want to talk about anything!

Oh & I hear we welcome newcomers here with cake, so... nom nom! :cake:

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waterdragongirl

Hello~what you are experiencing is a reaction to a stimulus when you masturbate or have sex. It doesn't have to have any sort of sexual thoughts or images associated with it to feel good, it's just your body reacting to erogenous zones and whatnot. As for the original question, if you feel you don't experience sexual attraction, feel totally free to identify as an asexual. Also feel free to look through the different terms and types of asexuality if you feel asexual is too much of an umbrella term or that it doesn't exactly fit you. Asexuality is sort of like the trans* term, where it's one common term with many categories underneath that are more specific to what a certain individual feels like they identify as (if this simile (or is it a metaphor?) helps).

Also feel free to look into sex-aversion, sex-negative, sex-neutral and the like as well~they are sub-identities of any sexual orientation (including asexuality!) that might fit you all~

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