Jump to content

Female autoeroticism [TMI]


Amusicum

Recommended Posts

Hello there,

I've recently been reading Myra T. Johnson's 1977 article, in which she distinguishes between asexual women (who don't want to have sex with others) and autoerotic women (who don't want to have sex with others but who masturbate). As far as I can see, autoeroticism is held under the asexual umbrella at present and I was wondering if these are slightly different things? I think autoeroticism is perhaps a more significant issue for women than for men, as it's often forgotten that women experience sexual pleasure through the clitoris, not through the vagina. The only way you can really stimulate the clitoris is through manual stimulation of the clitoris, not through vaginal penetration. I regularly masturbate and reach orgasm every time but I feel like this is a taboo topic within culture. To me female autoeroticism makes perfect sense and makes me think that a large amount of women in heterosexual partnerships must have sex out of a sense of emotional connection with their partner rather than for experiencing full pleasure. Maybe not though. I can't be fully sure.

I was wondering are there any other asexual women out there who identify more specifically as autoerotic?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I thought auto-eroticism means that you don't need to fantasize about others/a sexual situation with others while masturbating?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Some Aces masturbate, some don't. I think the former is more common though. And the two things the womam is talking about are the exact same thing. Someone who doesn't want to have sex/want others sexually is simply that; that has nothing to do with desiring pleasure/masturbation. And a sexual person can also not masturbate. Unless you're just saying it's talking about libidoist an non-libidoist asexuals. With the way you elaborate, asexual doesn't mean undesiring sex, nor even because of lack of orgasms from vaginal sex, it means they don't have the impulse/urge/compulsion in their heads to do sexual things to someones body; they can still sexually compromise.

Secondly, there is autosexual; sexually attracted to one self; looking at their own body causes sexual arousal which then triggers the desire to masturbate. This is not the same thing as how people normally come to masturbate.

@Tarfeather

Nope, it means "stimulating or fantasizing about one's own body". According to the wiki page, it's not the same thing as masturbation because that's defined as self-stimulation and there are some ways to get aroused and even orgasm without genital contact. But the two words are still used interchangeably.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I understand what you mean about not being sexually attracted to another person being a significant factor. I think there is such a thing as autoeroticism (which could potentially be a sub-category of asexuality) and I would go with this definition of autoeroticism that I have come across:

1. Sexual feeling arising without known external stimulation.

2. Sexual gratification obtained solely through stimulation by oneself of one's body (Mirriam-Webster dicitonary)

Autoeroticism is held under the umbrella of asexuality as you say, but I don't think it's fully correct to say that it's fantasising about one's own body. I think it's more about being at one with the sensations coming from your own body. I was just interested in bringing this up because although I know asexuality has become a wider umbrella now, it wasn't the case in Johnson's article.

I don't want to argue about definitions, as I really don't believe in labels anyway. I guess I just wanted to bring up the topic because of broader cultural issues around female sexuality. I have heard about women being able to achieve vaginal orgasm through the elusive G Spot. I found this article which I think is well balanced - it basically states that women may be able to achieve both clitoral and vaginal orgasms. However, achieving a vaginal orgasm is influenced by the structure of each woman's vagina, as some women have a thicker layer around their vagina, which apparently helps with achieving a vaginal orgasm. I do think that many women don't even think of the clitoral orgasm and just think that it is achieved through penetrative sex, which in many cases it may not be. Or they start blaming themselves that they can't reach orgasm rather than thinking that their partner needs to be active in the process too, in terms of stimulating the clitoris. Here's the article: http://www.bbc.com/f...e-female-orgasm

Link to post
Share on other sites
scarletlatitude

Being autoerotic doesn't necessarily exclude you from being an ace, just to keep it clear. :)

There are definitely aces (and others) who prefer self stimulation. I would say that I am one of them, but I've never experienced it the other way so... I can't say for sure. Female orgasm in any form is a sort of "taboo" topic in society. It's like everyone pretends it doesn't exist.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, I agree on both points. Autoeroticism is an aspect of asexuality and also female masturbation is a taboo topic within culture. I'm doing my PhD research on female asexualities and am making sure to include a section about female autoeroticism/masturbation. I think it's really important to remove the taboo around it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Are you going to include a section as to why female masturbation became a taboo topic? You should also include the clarification that allosexual people don't always masturbate out of a desire of sex (making asexuals more relatable to the allosexual public); it can be a desire for pleasure and that is exactly why libidoist asexuals do it. Alot of allosexuals don't seem to get how an ace can get aroused by erotica. This is because these people have to be sexually attracted to a person in the erotica to even become aroused/self-insert themselves into the erotic situation toward the sexually attractive person. This is not the case with libidoist asexuals; who get aroused at the suggestion of sexual pleasure (or by a fetish). Their body sees g-spots being hit/anticipates g-spots are going to be hit, which triggers its desire for its own g-spots to be hit; similar to the body producing extra saliva when smelling food (there's no explaining how fetishes work; it's just how their brain works). So arousal is never caused by the people in erotica (so no sexual attraction) but by their actions. Not to be confused with sexual attraction to actions or erotica or fetishes; there's a difference between feet being arousing and literally wanting to have sex with a foot (sexual attraction). However, there was a study that showed a majority of allosexual women have the same responce as asexuals; their body can become aroused from erotica that does not include someone sexually attractive; while it was rare for the men in the study to exhibit this. (a bit of irealvent info: there's a difference between sexual arousal, sexual attraction, and sex-drive; though the last two can influence eachother in allosexual people)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes definitely. My work combines my own life-writing, collective biography groups with women and also a sociohistorical genealogy of female asexualities. I seek to provide a genealogy of everything I talk about so I will definitely be discussing why female masturbation is seen as taboo, as you suggested.

Link to post
Share on other sites
scarletlatitude

Yes, I agree on both points. Autoeroticism is an aspect of asexuality and also female masturbation is a taboo topic within culture. I'm doing my PhD research on female asexualities and am making sure to include a section about female autoeroticism/masturbation. I think it's really important to remove the taboo around it.

WHAT. I wish I could study something so awesome. Instead I chose to work in education where saying the word "sex" can get you fired in some states. Good luck with your research!

Link to post
Share on other sites
I think autoeroticism is perhaps a more significant issue for women than for men, as it's often forgotten that women experience sexual pleasure through the clitoris, not through the vagina. The only way you can really stimulate the clitoris is through manual stimulation of the clitoris, not through vaginal penetration.

Well, there are a number of positional variations that provide some level of stimulation of the clitoris as well, and there's a wide plethora of, er, attachments available designed to provide additional stimulation of the clitoris during penetrative sex.

I regularly masturbate and reach orgasm every time but I feel like this is a taboo topic within culture.

Hmmm, do you feel female masturbation is more taboo than male masturbation? I'm trying to think through history and tangential indicators, and I'm not sure, I get a feeling of a difference in the nature of the taboos. I mean, I can't quite think of a female equivalent to the pejorative 'wanker', and I have a stronger sense that male masturbation and associated things are considered dirty in some way. On the other hand, female masturbation seems less talked about in general. I don't know. I'd love to read some good research on the topic. :) I'll have to look around for that a bit.

To me female autoeroticism makes perfect sense and makes me think that a large amount of women in heterosexual partnerships must have sex out of a sense of emotional connection with their partner rather than for experiencing full pleasure. Maybe not though. I can't be fully sure.

There's a parallel in men enjoying anal penetration, either from a female with a strap-on or in a homosexual relationship. I think there's definitely a strong aspect of the emotional connection and don't underestimate the pleasure some derive from providing pleasure to their partner. In fact, if you consider the prevalence of faking orgasms (not that uncommon among men either), I think that for many it's more important that the other partner has a pleasant experience and believes they made you have a pleasant experience than actually having an orgasm is. Hmmm, which makes me wonder about the prevalence of mutual faking, which would be quite interesting although somewhat sad.

I think there's a good case for trying to help people get over the idea that mutual orgasm from intercourse is the optimal sexual interaction and instead find better ways to pleasure each other and realize that orgasm isn't the only thing one is getting out of sexual interactions.

And I concur with scarletatitude, that is really awesome! Doing research in human sexuality would definitely be my most desirable alternate career. So good luck from me too, and it would be really interesting to read your dissertation when you're finished :).

Link to post
Share on other sites

Men's masturbation seems accepted as a standard, expected thing, but also belittled (especially if toys are involved). Women's masturbation is treated as something rare, and sex toys are a given and not made fun of. There is definitely less information about most females' genitalia and becoming familiar with it (just look how most people don't even know what vulva refers to).

Link to post
Share on other sites
scarletlatitude

These reminded me of this discussion. It took me several days to find them again. I love how the internet never lets you find that one thing you really want to find again. Anyway...

enhanced-27492-1400686706-1.png

enhanced-7496-1400685431-2.png

enhanced-22017-1403891555-6.png

Link to post
Share on other sites
demiandproud

Meta-note: maybe put a graphic-warning/tw on top of this topic?

Kudos for doing research into asexualities!

I don't get much, if anything, out of physical stimulation while masturbating.Mostly mental

I've found a lot of information about female sexuality online when I went looking forward, and eventually stumbled over asexuality and demisexuality.

One of the most helpful as far as physical stimulation went, even if it was less of my cuppa, was "Vaginas get boners, too!"

Warning for graphic content: http://www.stuffmomnevertoldyou.com/video/clips/smnty-vaginas-get-boners-too-video/

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think the sex toy discrimination comes from gender roles. It being used by a male on a female demonstrates the expected domination but when it's a woman doing it to a male it makes what's supposed to be strong into weak. And weakness gets you killed in nature so it's an instinct to detur such people from the gene pool (i.e. bullying).

Link to post
Share on other sites
scarletlatitude

Meta-note: maybe put a graphic-warning/tw on top of this topic?

You are right. I figured it was self explanatory from the title, but there may be people who are expecting a different sort of discussion. I'm going to edit the title now. :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello there,

as it's often forgotten that women experience sexual pleasure through the clitoris, not through the vagina. The only way you can really stimulate the clitoris is through manual stimulation of the clitoris, not through vaginal penetration. I regularly masturbate and reach orgasm every time but I feel like this is a taboo topic within culture. To me female autoeroticism makes perfect sense and makes me think that a large amount of women in heterosexual partnerships must have sex out of a sense of emotional connection with their partner rather than for experiencing full pleasure. Maybe not though. I can't be fully sure.

I was wondering are there any other asexual women out there who identify more specifically as autoerotic?

Basic female anatomy lesson coming up.

The clitoris extends down around the vaginal opening, deep into the vagina, and down into and around the anus, some women can even experience orgasms inside their anus if aroused enough (through anal stimulation/penetration alone I mean) so I am not sure what you mean by 'clitoral stimulation', unless you mean stimulation of the entire (very large) clitoral area, in which case though the vaginal opening is included also (yes, many women can experience orgasms through vaginal stimulation/penetration alone, and technically yes this is still a clitoral orgasm, even though the ''nub'' may not be involved at all, as the clitoris extends inside the vaginal wall)..Women can also have orgasms solely from stimulation of the urethra (as the clitoral organ also surrounds that) .. The clitoral ''nub'' at the top (the part many people assume is the whole clitoris) is only the most prominent and receptive (for many women) part of the clitoris, but yeah, it's a much bigger organ than many people think. It's pretty sexually limiting though to make a statement like you just have (the part I bolded) as some women actually cannot orgasm from having the clitoral ''nub'' stimulated but do orgasm from vaginal or anal penetration, or even just stimulation of the outer labia (which the clitoris extends underneath on both sides). Fact.

And a lot of asexuals masturbate but have no desire for partnered sex... Gotta deal with those hormones somehow. I masturbate (a lot) but I wouldn't call myself autoerotic.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, I get what you've just said. Women experience arousal in lots of different ways, and with different parts of the anatomy, depending on individual preferences. I suppose in the cultural imaginary though these different ways of experiencing arousal are largely swept under the carpet.

I suppose I just wanted to discuss autoeroticism as this term isn't really talked about much any more and I found it curious because it was mentioned in Johnson's first main article on female asexualities. It's something about how terminology has shifted too, I guess. I also masturbate a lot and am overall asexual (although to be honest I hate labels to start with). I suppose I would use the term autoerotic, although I know the libidoist/non-libidoist terminology has emerged within the asexual community.

Link to post
Share on other sites
To me female autoeroticism makes perfect sense and makes me think that a large amount of women in heterosexual partnerships must have sex out of a sense of emotional connection with their partner rather than for experiencing full pleasure. Maybe not though. I can't be fully sure.

This academic summary says that about half of heterosexual women don't reach orgasm purely through vaginal intercourse:

http://www.lehmiller.com/blog/2013/2/1/sex-question-friday-what-percentage-of-women-reach-orgasm-fr.html

However, many of these women can (and do) reach orgasm with simultaneous clitoral stimulation.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...