Confusion 0 Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 I'm not sure where to start, umm... Well, I've been on AVEN for about a month and a half now, and this whole time, I've been identifying as grey-a. However, I think I've been getting sexual attraction and arousal confused. I know a lot of people say labels are unimportant, but I can have difficulty arranging my thoughts and feelings, so having labels gives me something to latch onto. From what I've heard, sexual attraction is when you have an urge to have sex with a specific person (Is that correct?). When I was in my early-to-mid-teens, I masturbated all the time, and had loads of sexual fantasies (I know masturbation is to do with libido, bare with me). There were even a few situations (Only two I can actually remember) where I wanted some kind of sexual activity with specific people. However, it was only in those specific situations, and I wouldn't usually think like that. And about the sexual fantasies, I used to have sexual fantasies all the time, even about specific people, and I would often masturbate while thinking about them. However, all of that has calmed down a lot now that I'm older (I'm 19 now). I don't have sexual fantasies anymore, although I sometimes have stray sexual thoughts. I was masturbating less and less over the years, to the point where I was doing it maybe once a week, and so I decided to stop completely more recently. I was always ashamed and disgusted at myself for masturbating. I have sexual/wet dreams relatively frequently (I don't know about other people, but they usually wake me up). I am very easily aroused too, even reading AVEN threads where people simply mention having sex, I can become aroused. One thing which has stayed the same throughout the years is that I've never wanted to watch porn. I find the thought of porn quite disturbing, to be honest. Also, when I was growing up, I never saw sex as romantic or anything, I just thought people did it for fun, and to have kids. I saw sex and romance as two separate separate things, which can go together sometimes. And honestly, that view hasn't changed much. Overall, these days I don't really want sex, except out of curiosity to see if it's really for me or not (I'm a virgin). Going by what I've heard sexual attraction described as, I don't think I've ever experienced it. I've never seen someone going down the street and thought "It would be nice to have sex with them". So, I guess what I'm asking is, did I used to be grey, but I'm now asexual? Have I always been asexual? Am I still grey-a? Sorry if this is a bit of a mess, like I said, I'm not good at arranging my thoughts. Oh, and if you have any questions, ask away. I honestly think I've missed out some important things, but I don't want to make this post any more of a mess. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 I think that the description of "grey a" as "feeling some attraction, in small amounts or only occasionally" is incorrect... I think that i am grey. but I definitely do not feel attraction at all. according to the aven definition of asexual, I am asexual... but I do not agree with that analysis I am grey. and I won't let aven decide who I am. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Confusion 0 Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 I think that the description of "grey a" as "feeling some attraction, in small amounts or only occasionally" is incorrect... I think that i am grey. but I definitely do not feel attraction at all. according to the aven definition of asexual, I am asexual... but I do not agree with that analysis I am grey. and I won't let aven decide who I am. I don't identify as grey-a because I experience less sexual attraction. I actually thought arousal was sexual attraction, so I thought I experienced sexual attraction relatively often. I identify as grey-a because I don't seem to care much about sex in any way. I do not believe asexuality is purely having less or no sexual attraction, there are also one's own thoughts and feelings as well. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Erasmvs Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 You're asexual with normal libido, imo. There's a term, it's autochorrissexual. I fucking hate that term, ugh. You might be that, but I guess calling yourself asexual is just fine. Check this out: http://thetorchbeyours.tumblr.com/post/107720936030/what-does-autochorrissexual-mean But I doubt you're that. Autochorrissexuals are sexually attracted to people in their mind, but would never do it irl. So you're a perfectly normal, healthy asexual. ^^ Also, hi Andrew, how have you been? :D :lol: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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