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Any hermits out there?


fogsedge

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I've been a casual participant/observer in these forums.

I live in a little house in the woods with three dogs. I am not very interested in sex, but also pretty comfortable living in my own little world with no close relationships to other humans. I go through days without speaking to anyone other than my dogs. I don't hate people . . . I'm just not interested in most of the stuff those around me want to talk about and bored with social interaction. A good book is more entertaining. As would fiddling around with my plants if there weren't so many frigging mosquitoes around here in summer.

It's a stretch of my capacity for empathy to relate to many or the posts on these forums. Loneliness??? Need a friend?? Navigating intimacy? Seeking identity and the correct label??? These concerns just don't resonate.

I don't mean this to be judgemental, and I ask because I'm curious, not because I'm looking for friends.

Are there any other hermits out there who are not only asexual, but getting along pretty well without friends and family and not that interested in the label used to describe us?

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UncommonNonsense

I'm quite close to a hermit. My elderly mum lives with me, and I work, so I do interact with people. But I rarely talk to people outside of family and work. I do have friends online, but I feel no intrinsic urge to be social IRL. I find face to face social contact exhausting and generally unrewarding. I find the company of animals much more congenial than that of humans, and a good book is a wonderful vacation from reality.

I live in a townhouse condo complex at the edge of town. The condo was a concession to Mum's age and my chronic pain. Neither of us can do a lot of lawn/garden stuff and can't do the kind of snow removal that our area requires. But we intentionally chose one that has mostly retirees or childfree people living there and our neighbours are just as private as we are. If I was alone and uninjured, the way I used to be before Dad died and Mum got sick, I'd be living out in the country, back away from all the main roads, with a thick wall of trees screening my view of any neighbour within a few miles.

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I'm sort of a hermit, I don't interact with people unless I have to and I will eventually live alone (and will enjoy it as long as I can look after myself). The only people I interact with are the family I live with and I have the choice whether to interact or be on my own for hours. I have no real need for friends, even online I only have limited people I talk to and have gone for years without needing friends. I am happier alone and socialising stresses me out a lot.

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I'm not sure I'd describe myself as a hermit, because I tend to associate that with staying inside. I need to be outside and getting fresh air, exploring, jogging, doing all sorts of things. But I'm definitely a loner, and rarely spend any time with other people (except when I have to). My dog is my favorite companion, and I love going for long walks through the woods or prairie. Especially in winter, when I almost never run into another person. I get very antsy and anxious if I am indoors for too long. I'd like to set up a tent on a higher point on the prairie, where I'd have a great view of everything around me in all directions (and the ability to see storms rolling in!), far away from anybody, and live out of that.

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Not really a hermit but I would be one if I could. I can survive with minimum contact with others.

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Lord Jade Cross

If I had the financial means to take care of basic needs and such, I wouldn't even leave the house. I do interact with family and people but only because its neccesary for work and such. I dont even like being around family. For the most part Im at odds with them or just plain uncomfortable. With people its the same. I do interact online because its a filtered form of interaction and much safer in terms that I dont have a person physically next to me. All it takes to get away is just turning off the computer and generally its much easier to find subjects of interest since they are placed in categorical spots rather than to have to painfully search for them.

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I would consider myself a hermit and know other people who do as well I could go days without talking to anyone and be okay with it. Joining Aven is probably one of the most social things I've ever done!

Never really had any friends, had some for a while weren't that close rarely felt lonely. I've always been happier with my dogs to be honest. I think I feel kind of lonely now sometimes because I moved out recently and my dogs stayed with separate parents. I kinda miss'em.

I have been at my workplace now for just over a year and I have been out as a group with them once. It really wasn't all that I don't know whats so great about socialising I always seem to zone out after about 20 minutes. Everytime I visit family they amazed ' I came out from under my rock'. I probably wouldn't visit my mum at all if she didn't have my dog and I might occansionly visit my Dad if he didn't have my other dog. But as it happens they do...

Ideally, if life went my way I would live in an isolated wood as far away from society as possible, with maybe one or two close friends to visit everynow and then, with just my dogs.( and maybe cats).

I would like to run an animal sancutary as well but in my ideal world there would be no animals in cages.

It would be just me, dog, cat , books , trees, river, nature - that would make me very happy indeed :)

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Anthracite_Impreza

If I had the ability I'd live in a house in the woods with 10 cars, 20 dogs, 50 guinea pigs, a 100 snails and exactly 0 people. I enjoy the company of others most of the time, but it's darn exhausting.

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bittersweet988

I am not exactly a hermit yet, although I basically only talk to my parents, so unless some drastic changes occur in my life, I'll be a "full-time" hermit very soon. Oh and I'd definitely like to live in the woods instead of in an overcrowded city. Well, if you don't feel the need to have friends or a partner, that's fine. Nobody says you need to have those things if you don't want them. I wish I were like you... I live pretty much like a hermit because I don't like people and don't feel comfortable around anybody due to my hypersensitivity, but unlike you I don't like having anybody to talk to, I really don't. Trust me, it is really painful when you would like to connect with somebody but feel like you just can't. I think that feeling no need for friends or people in general would be great. Unfortunately, I don't think I will ever get to that point.

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Lord Jade Cross

I'd like to be able to live in an unpopulated area as well. Those cabins in the woods sound very appealing. And just for safety I think I'd hung a few dolls up in tress to scare away any curious people who might find their way to my house lol.

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If I had the financial means to take care of basic needs and such, I wouldn't even leave the house. I do interact with family and people but only because its necessary for work and such. I don't even like being around family. For the most part I'm at odds with them or just plain uncomfortable. With people its the same. I do interact online because its a filtered form of interaction and much safer in terms that I don't have a person physically next to me. All it takes to get away is just turning off the computer and generally its much easier to find subjects of interest since they are placed in categorical spots rather than to have to painfully search for them.

That's exactly how I feel. I can with deal family in small doses, as long as I can get away to replenish myself, if I don't I get irritable.

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Hermits meeting on Internet...

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LocustTheLurker

For two years, I lived alone, did not have any coworkers or friends, and communicated with only my mom and dad (and then, only when strictly necessary and largely by e-mail and sometimes phone). Normally, I would have to go out every day to remain sane, but during this period, I was unable to do so. And I wasn't the slightest bit lonely. Actually, I've never been generally lonely in my life; on extraordinarily rare occasions, I can crave being with a specific person, but that's it.

Nor do I really care about labels. I only came across the term "asexual" a couple of years ago; I was almost 30 years old. While it was interesting to find that there was a term to describe me, becoming aware of it didn't change anything. I didn't feel relief (I never felt "broken" in the first place, and AVENites are awesome, but I don't need the asexual community to feel okay), and I would be just as happy without the label.

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There is a term in Chinese for people who stay at home all the time, is on the internet all the time, and is bad at hygiene. That kinda describes me, except the last part, because I'm OCDish and I keep myself clean.

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I envy your lifestyle. I basiclly am a loner/hermit wannabe. I do have friends, but I don't see them often enough for them to be annoying. I could easily go for long periods of time by myself.

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Hmm. I'm retired and I live (alone) on a 7 acre Ozark mini-farm in an area listed as "rural, unincorporated" on the maps. I wouldn't call my house a cabin, though, because it has water, electricity, trash pick-up, high speed internet and streaming video. (But then, I live 5 miles from a state park that has rental cabins - real native stone and dead tree ones - with all I have plus decks with hot tubs.) I love the lack of humans and abundance of wildlife, but am not overly fond of the overabundant allergens, the winter ice storms, all of the maintenance needed to keep everything (house, yard, pond, trails) in decent shape, or the long drive to do grocery shopping. At some point, I will be too old to keep the place up and will have to sell and move. Old age: when you no longer have the physical ability to do the things you didn't have the time for when you were young and working. :mellow:

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Queen Under the Mountain

What describes myself better is an episode from The Big Bang Theory where Sheldon "fired" Raj so he can have a new friend, because he is unable to keep more than 3 "close" friendships at the same time. I need friends and I do feel lonely if I am totally alone for days, but I also can't handle too much social interaction nor administrate too many friends without going crazy, socialization make me feel exhausted even when it's online, that's why I retired from all the mainstream foruns and social networks, to my acquaintances I must look like an hermit xD

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I'm not good at real life social interaction (it usually bores me), but I'm very social on the internet, so I'm not sure if I count as a hermit. I certainly prefer the company of my animals to other people, and I only go into town when I need shopping. I work from home. My hairdresser visits once every few weeks, and we talk non-stop the whole time she's here, but by the time she leaves, I feel like I need rest and recovery time.

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I call myself a hermit, I don't leave the house unless I have to and prefer solo activities to group ones. I have good friends in other parts of the world that I interact with more than I do with people locally; and I dream of living somewhere where the neighbours aren't so close, one day.

I just find people exhausting for the most part :/

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