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Does asexuality affect your interpretation of attractiveness?


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My opinion of attractive or good-looking has generally differed from the masses. Looking at models or miss universes and the alike, makes me wonder what's so 'hot' or great about them? I just fail to understand. This is not to say that I have never found anyone good looking. Very rarely do I ever find an attractive girl. Does my asexuality play any role in this or is it just my standards? Here's something I'll find attractive:

x-art_malena_sunset_strip-4-sml.jpg

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No, I know what is sexy in my mind and what isn't. My idea of sexy has changed, but it only shifts to preference towards physically, and voluptrous fit women with some apparent fats. I like looking at these women.

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Autumn Season

Not sure? Maybe it does. It often happens that I cannot see the "beauty" in "sexy" people or drawn characters. Then again who said that sexual people find the same people aesthetically and sexually attractive? In fact I heard that it doesn't have to be the case. But while "sexy" people still look good for many, for me their picture seems so "weird" that I don't even like looking at them. (I keep thinking: Why are you wearing this? Why are you in this position/ moving like this? Why are you looking at me like this? WTF is wrong with you?)

As a heteroromantic woman I should probably like masculinity. But I don't (or at least not much). Neither in looks nor in behavior. However this preference for not very masculine men might have developed because of the movies I watched: The male main characters usually act in a way that I fail to comprehend. Oftentimes they seem to think they're entitled to anything or they're stubborn and cold-hearted. None of these character traits seem attractive. So maybe because I don't like the film protagonists' personalities I started disliking their looks too.

And I don't like loud, aggressive sounding voices. Even though they are "manly". I wonder if those voices usually count as attractive.

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To answer the question in your header, yes. My mind will sometimes go "error, error, can not compute attractiveness" when I see just any random person, and I'll have to guess for myself whether they're attractive or not, even though for the most part I wouldn't care about this (It's complicated).

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Maybe. Maybe it's just preference. I'm sure there are quite a few sexual people attracted to "non-mainstream" appearance.

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Yes, what I find attractive or not does condition my different sexuality. As Snowpuff said very well, my brain software isn't programmed for that (with only 2 exceptions in 3 decades, that haven't been based on physical attraction) LOL.

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It probably did, I had to learn what other people counted as sexy or hot or whatever based on the physical appearances that I heard people talking about, but now that I know what other people deem as good-looking I can find some people cute or pretty although I can only identify what other people think of hotness or sexyness as it means nothing to me. But I do think that everyone has their own preference on what is good looking.

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I have always found what I find attractive and what our culture tells me are attractive have very little if any overlap.

IMHO, society keeps on sending this meme of attractiveas being this busty pissed off looking model for women, and walking pissed off muscles for men. I personally find a more androgynous and happy/innocent look far more attractive in both men and women.

Of course, one need consider that standards of beauty vary wildly from one culture and time period to another.

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MagentaRoseRed

I go about my life oblivious to good looking people. Sometimes I'll look back and realise that maybe this or that person was quite attractive, usually in comparing them to someone else's definition. On the other hand sometimes I make the connection that someone is visually pleasing, but like in the sense that I like a good painting; I don't want to be in a relationship with that painting.

My answer: I think asexuality affects my interpretation of attractiveness. Looks aren't important and having that not in the equation (not having that picture in my head) makes it a lot easier to disregard the stereotypes and just like someone for who they are as a person.
However, I am romantic and it's so confusing just dealing with my own worries about trying to have a relationship with someone. I don't know how to articulate the struggle.

Other people's interpretations of attractiveness affect a lot of people, at least for periods of time, when you consider how pervasive mainstream beauty is in people's minds when they're figuring everything out.

People try to find an acceptable personification of attractiveness in the hope that it'll make everything all right. I can understand wanting nice things, nice things make everything better (I wish).

Rant over. :D

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Squirrel Combat

I think so, actually. Because I'm not focused on stuff like boobies and pussies my sense of what I find attractive in the face and figure are heightened more than those I live around. Most of my brother's SOs I never considered very attractive.

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Anthracite_Impreza

Considering I've never known it any other way I have absolutely no idea, but I find no one attractive so...

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LeftyGreenMario

The standards of human attractiveness are generally universal (symmetrical face, clear of blemishes, right proportions), but when it comes to people I personally know, I don't say they're attractive, ugly, average, etc. I say they look fine, and I'm happy they don't want or need to undergo cosmetic surgery.

I'm kinda a nerd, though, and I dress very casually, with no make-up or fancy hair. I wear big glasses and I'm petite by human standards. I like the way I look.

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What I find attractive is people's eyes. Eyes and smiles are the key. I also think it is very attractive when people have nice hair (like a nice hair style and it looks that they take care of their hair). I don't know. I would say a person becomes more attractive the more I know them. The more I know them, the more I want to be around them.

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I understand what hot , cute and other terms are and I do find people attractive. I personally enjoy abs on a man , I saw in another discussion a girl said they don't do anything for

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I'm not going to dance around it, I know exactly what at least Western people condier "attractive" and I do judge people by it. In a way it's hard to escape this awareness because of my artistic background. However there are many I see that don't fit into that standard that are attractive to me, too, and when it comes down to it. a horrible personality makes you an ugly person.

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No. However, to be fair, there are some parts of just flat-out physical attraction I never really got the gist of. The whole attraction to things such as 6 pack abs or bulging muscles in general. It would make more sense to me if the attraction was towards the fact that the person in question likes to workout, take care of his/herself and push themselves to the limit, rather than the actual abs in question. I'm more of a personaity person anyway, at least I can understand that.

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I know some asexuals experience aesthetic attraction, but I never have. I am aware of things like bad haircuts or teeth, but to me a face is a face. I actually have trouble telling people apart because of it. (Especially with celebrities. I get made fun of all the time because I sincerely cannot tell who's who without concerted effort). With body parts besides the face, it registers even less with me. If a person's clothes are nice enough, and the colors go together, then I count their appearance as appealing. Most of the time, I just assume everyone's attractive until told otherwise.

Although, like Adrian, once I get to know someone I find them more visually appealing. I guess it's because I can connect some emotional significance to their features. So I guess my asexuality affects my sense of what's attractive in that I have no idea what's attractive or not.

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I can't really tell if my view of attractiveness is different because of my asexuality. What I do know is that I don't have a really strong idea of what is aesthetically pleasing. I know what is ugly, what is average and what is nice looking, but sometimes it's a bit blurry. I don't find anyone attractive, as in I'm not drawn to their looks, I just notice that they are better looking than the average and move on.

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How could I know whether asexuality affects my idea of attractiveness? I've always been asexual so I have no basis for comparison. :mellow:

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I don't really know what is considered attractive, I mainly go for the personality rather than looks but why do people say a certain type of feature is either "good looking" or "not good looking". Like a face why are some faces considered attractive but not others just because of the size of a nose or the size of the eyes. I've never understood that. So I don't know if it's my asexuality or I just can't tell if someone is attractive, I find some people aesthetically pleasing but i'm not exactly sure what defines attractive and unattractive.

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sexy . . . smexy.

There are a lot of people (opposite sex) I find repulsive, and a few I find interesting for one reason or another.

I find most same sex people boring as opposed to repulsive . . . though there are a few bright sparks.

Voice and capability are far more important than appearance.

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There's sexual attraction, romantic attraction, aesthetic attraction, sensual attraction and platonic attraction. Asexuals (usually) don't feel sexual attraction towards what's considered "hot", romantic attraction means you get attracted to someone in a non-sexual way, it's a type of "love", it can depend on the persons intelligence, looks, personality and other. Can be associated with sensual attraction, when you want to touch or be close to someone, but it doesn't always go together, depends on person. Platonic is when you want to be friends with someone, and love them like a person. And finally, there's aesthetic attraction, which makes you appreciate a person's physique without feeling anything else (can happen with or without sexual/sensual/platonic/romantic attraction). Many people like to include their aesthetic and romantic attractions along with their sexuality. The conclusion? Depends on the individual.

If you ask me, for example, I appreciate the person's looks first, then I develop a squish on the person, and a crush after I known him/her better. I might develop sexual feelings to men, but I'd rather not try penetrative sex. This might be some form of demisexuality.

Here's a pic to clarify things:

tumblr_nn60izqL8w1s2gjqpo1_500.png

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Yes, I think that it does. I don't understand most people's standards of attractiveness, because I'm not actually attracted to anyone in any way and never have been.

I do understand aesthetic appeal, and I do understand beauty. From an artistic standpoint, I have fairly definite views of what looks good and what does not, and that does translate to humans... albeit in much the same way I would view a statue or a cat. I can group humans by "attractive/not attractive", but when I do so, it's based on questions such as "does this person have symmetric features" and "do they appear to be healthy" as well as "do they have striking or unusual features". This is based entirely on the face, and doesn't appear to get me results very much in line with the rest of the world, so I usually just sort of stare and nod when people talk about whether or not a person is attractive -- it's easier than getting into a conversation based on whether or not I think they have an interesting eye shape or such.

Usually people register to me only as "there is a person there". People pointing somebody out in a crowd based on them apparently being attractive has little result.

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I think it has. What attracts me to people has nothing to do with looks, but rather actions. There are aesthetically pleasing features on people, but it plays no role in how much I like someone or not. They're just like an added bonus. If someone were to ask me to rate someone based on their looks, I wouldn't be able to give you an answer. How am I supposed to know if I like someone or not based strictly on looks? It just doesn't compute with me.

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thekittyhawk

Seems to me that asexuality doesn't reeeally affect aesthetic attraction as it's a different kind of attraction, like romantic. I think sexual people see aesthetics differently, though, in a more sexual way. Like they might be aesthetically attracted to breasts and want to look at them because they are (apparently) intrinsically linked with sex. Or something.

And actually I'm the same! There's only a very specific aesthetic I have and it's quite rare that I see a girl that I look at and think "woooooah". I don't know if that is affected by my asexuality or if it's just individual, but either way it doesn't really matter to me! :)

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No, I think that's just personal preference. What's attractive by society's standards changes constantly. But if you talk to most people, their idea of what is attractive is all different. We have "trends" in attraction as a society, and even people whose attractions vary by trend, but overall, most people like what they like, reguardless of their sexuality.

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JustanotherTobigirl

I find I can't corolate with my friends on what they see as attractive. They point out these muscley bearded men (though I don't mind a small, trimmed beard), and I just don't find them asthetically attractive. I prefer clean shaven people. I'm not much for hairy people. I can find women asthetically beautiful, but I've never considered a relationship with one, while I have with males. I think most of all I just enjoy a beautiful face. Most people will probably find the people I find attractive to be attractive too, but they wouldn't be the first to come to mind. Also, I found them on the innernet, so looking up people is probably going to just show typically attractive people.

some exampes of what I find attractive

godfrey-gao.jpg

superthumb.jpg

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