EmpathyAce Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I feel really stupid asking this, but my brother just came out to me, thinking he is asexual. He always thought he was bi, but has just recently discovered that while he likes dating and he likes the thought of sex, he doesn't like the idea of and doesn't want to actually do it. Is he asexual, you think? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WinterWanderer Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I think it's possible he could be ace. (Of course, only he can really know for sure.) Technically speaking, asexuality means not having a sexual attraction to others. The definition doesn't really include one's idea on sex specifically. Some asexuals would want to have sex, while others don't. So he could just be sex-negative, but still sexual. I'm not exactly sure though? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kappamaki Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Sounds like it to me - or at least it's a strong enough possibility that he should definitely start looking into asexuality to find out more. I also thought I was bi before realizing asexuality was a thing. I'm a bit confused by your language, though. You say he "likes the thought of sex" and then "he doesn't like the idea of" sex. This sounds self-contradictory and I'm guessing you might have meant to type something other than you did. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
EmpathyAce Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 Oh shit sorry I meant that he likes thinking about it, like fantasizing? I guess? I dunno But the thought of him actually doing it, he doesn't like He doesn't ever want to actually have sex Sorry! ^^; It's late here. Cut me some slack... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Phoenix Ace Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 That sounds a lot like me, though I rarely even fantasize about it anymore. In my opinion that is firmly grey-asexual. Invite him onto the site, he could learn a lot from everyone here. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Erasmvs Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Oh shit sorry I meant that he likes thinking about it, like fantasizing? I guess? I dunno But the thought of him actually doing it, he doesn't like He doesn't ever want to actually have sex Sorry! ^^; It's late here. Cut me some slack... Not all asexuals are anti-sex. Some might think it's okay, though they don't wanna do it themselves. And just because you have a healthy libido doesn't mean you're attracted to people. If he thought he's bisexual, he might be in fact biromantic. You should ask him to join the site. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deltaX Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Sexual fantasies really don't have much too do with sexual orientation. Neither does being uncomfortable with having sex yourself, actually. What really matters is whether or not your brother is attracted to others in a sexual way. Because I'm not your brother I can't tell you if he experiences sexual attraction. That's really up to him to decide for himself. If your brother is confused, you might want to direct him here or explain your own experiences as an asexual person. There are a lot of misconceptions out there, and having people to talk to who have gone through the same things might be helpful to him if he's still feeling unsure. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dandelionfluff Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 Use this as an opportunity to buy a cake for the both of you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 If he never desired partnered sex, then chances are he's an ace. It could also be that he would only want sex in certain circumstances like feeling romantic attraction for his partner or feeling safe or or. In those cases he might be demi, gray or a sexual with certain preferences. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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