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ORGASMS! (and more...)


plaidclash

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Hey guys! So right from the start I'm going to warn you: This post contains TMI so if you aren't interested in deep, sex-related stuff, you probably don't want to hear this.

Anyway, as I always like to start my topics... I am 16, asexual (as I know of), and have no libido. I cannot be aroused or "turned on" by any person based on appearance or by their actions. I cannot fantasize or think that any act is particularly "sexy" and I cannot feel sexual attraction. I am aesthetically attracted to all genders. I am platonically attracted to all genders. I am (rarely) sensually attracted to all genders. I am romantically attracted to only girls, and I believe that practically, a relationship with a girl would be more desirable for me. I am sex-positive (with girls) because I believe sex can be a way to emotionally bond with someone, and it can feel good.

And that is where I begin my topic. Sex can feel good. Simulation can feel fucking amazing. I've been watching Laci Green on YouTube (I told y'all about her, she does videos on sex education) and she's opened me up to the world of (*cringe*) masturbation. Ok, the idea of it kind of skeeves me out and it is embarrassing (although it shouldn't be). I used to think masturbation was totally disgusting and I would never do it, but I didn't know HOW to do it. I didn't know what it was supposed to feel like, but boy was I wrong!

I've tried it a lot and I like it now. It's seriously helped me love my body more, and become more in-tune with my likes and dislikes. It has helped me become more confident and accepting of my sexuality. Even though I'm not positive where I stand on the ace spectrum, or if I don't know exactly what genders I'm attracted to... it's ok. This has also helped me come to the conclusion that I'm sex-positive and it seems more pleasant and inviting.

I also believe I am a non-libidoist, because I never have any sexual urges. I only pleasure myself for fun, not because my body tells me I need to. Just because I have a super low sex drive has not stopped me from feeling immense pleasure, lol!

That's it for this topic, I just wanted to express how good this was for me. Sorry for the TMI and if this was a totally poinless post. Thank you, friends!

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Good thing that you're sucessfull in exploring your body and sexuality! :) Now, have fun, I guess :unsure:

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Masturbation is the best shit on the face of the planet, it doesn't make you fat, and it is totally free. I am very happy for your new found freedom to enjoy your body.

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VindicatorPhoenix

That's great news! Always a blessing to find a new source of pleasure! ^_^

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Big fan of Laci Green! She's totally awesome and the main reason why I consider myself sex positive while simultaneously being ace.

Considering the topic I hope this isn't TMI, but I am kind of a frequent masturbater and porn indulger. It's taken a while but I've come to embrace the fact that these two facts do not contradict my ace status. I have no desire to be sexual with another person, but I do have a libido and that's just something I can take care of myself.

:cake:

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I am such a downer -_- I dislike orgasms and masturbation icky xP I ignore my libido as much as possible... xD

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I am such a downer -_- I dislike orgasms and masturbation icky xP I ignore my libido as much as possible... xD

Hey, it's alright! Some people just don't like it, and that's totally normal and cool.

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Big fan of Laci Green! She's totally awesome and the main reason why I consider myself sex positive while simultaneously being ace.

Considering the topic I hope this isn't TMI, but I am kind of a frequent masturbater and porn indulger. It's taken a while but I've come to embrace the fact that these two facts do not contradict my ace status. I have no desire to be sexual with another person, but I do have a libido and that's just something I can take care of myself.

:cake:

The thing about me is that I enjoy stimulation/ masturbation, AND I want to have a sexual relationship with my partner. I still think this doesn't affect my "ace status" because I don't really feel "turned on" or sexually attracted to anyone, you know? It can be confusing at times, but oh well. I think I've reached my conclusion, and I'm happy now :)

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Nice to see someone who has figured out so much about themselves at such a young age. That's going to save you a lot of trouble of the "everyone else does/like [X], what is wrong with me" kind. :)

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scarletlatitude

Remember that asexuality means that you don't experience the sexual attraction, not that you can't enjoy sexual activities. ;)

It's great that you've figured out yourself! And it is definitely okay if you decide to change your mind later. They are your labels and you get to use them as you please.

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LeaveOnYourColours

Wow, OP, we're on a wavelength! I don't ever feel the need to masturbate, but I do for fun, like you said, or just when there's the time to. I didn't know that counted as non-libidoist. I'm also sex positive and would happily take part in sexual acts with the worthy romantic partner of my choosing (I'm cupio and recipromantic), as long as I feel super comfortable with that person.

Really sucks that masturbation is such a taboo for girls. Bring down the patriarchy cuz that's BS. I'm a bit of a (healthy) hedonist myself, but it's a weird thing to talk about with people who aren't asexual because then I get my aceness questioned and I don't wanna deal with all that. I'm glad you're pretty confident about this, none of us deserve to feel broken. You're an inspiration! ^_^

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Wow, OP, we're on a wavelength! I don't ever feel the need to masturbate, but I do for fun, like you said, or just when there's the time to. I didn't know that counted as non-libidoist. I'm also sex positive and would happily take part in sexual acts with the worthy romantic partner of my choosing (I'm cupio and recipromantic), as long as I feel super comfortable with that person.

Really sucks that masturbation is such a taboo for girls. Bring down the patriarchy cuz that's BS. I'm a bit of a (healthy) hedonist myself, but it's a weird thing to talk about with people who aren't asexual because then I get my aceness questioned and I don't wanna deal with all that. I'm glad you're pretty confident about this, none of us deserve to feel broken. You're an inspiration! ^_^

Wow, OP, we're on a wavelength! I don't ever feel the need to masturbate, but I do for fun, like you said, or just when there's the time to. I didn't know that counted as non-libidoist. I'm also sex positive and would happily take part in sexual acts with the worthy romantic partner of my choosing (I'm cupio and recipromantic), as long as I feel super comfortable with that person.

Really sucks that masturbation is such a taboo for girls. Bring down the patriarchy cuz that's BS. I'm a bit of a (healthy) hedonist myself, but it's a weird thing to talk about with people who aren't asexual because then I get my aceness questioned and I don't wanna deal with all that. I'm glad you're pretty confident about this, none of us deserve to feel broken. You're an inspiration! ^_^

ohmygod thank you so so SO much! I'm really glad I have the ace community to talk to. Sharing my experience in real life is difficult, but it's very easy to talk to the internet. Y'all are much more understanding and accepting, and it's wayyyy easier to talk about this stuff anonymously. My friends and family have been fantastic, but the truth is they don't always understand.

Recently I HAVE become more confident and accepting of my sexuality, but that doesn't mean I'm not confused. I'm still figuring it all out, and this is just helping a bit! I'm glad you relate so much... it's awesome to know that you're going through a similar situation. PM me if you wanna talk more! ^_^

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Betty Badinbed

Ooh! Your thread title attracted me thinking I might have found the place to tell my Big-O story at last!

Yeah I masturbate regularly - it seems more like tension release and 'scratching an itch' than a sexual act. It's a gentle thing, a nice release of chemicals through the brain. I might be delve into my fictosexual fantasies which might get me in the mood initially, but when it gets down to closing the deal, I can't think sexy thoughts or stay in my fantasies if I want to get off. I can only come by getting into a sort of meditative state, or thinking of fetishy stuff that I don't term sexual.

I do, though, feel lucky because once upon a time, the universe gifted me with one Perfect Orgasm. And I was with another person at the time.

At the time, I was 21, and thought I'd been cured of my as yet unidentified ace status (I hadn't) It was like “oh so this is what it’s all about – I can expect more of these? Awesome!” But I never ever did again, so I look back on it now and it seems like a gift.

I was in bed with K, my first boyfriend. We’d been out somewhere and were pretty tired, we’d attempted to have sex but were both too sleepy, and maybe intoxicated, to proceed. Sex for me was an exercise in mild disappointment – happy my partner seemed to be getting off, while for me it was a mere grinding of bodies and expectation of some sort of pleasure that had never yet revealed itself. Anyway, we lay side by side with K’s hand settled in my genital zone which he had been half-heartedly trying to stimulate. As we both drifted off to sleep, his finger would move for a few moments, then be still, then twitch again, then still, and so on.

Suddenly I was wide awake with an awareness that something was going on. I barely even had time to frame a conscious thought, as my sensations raced from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds. The metaphor I use (a commonly used one I think but it’s just ideal) was like being out in a calm sea on my boogie board and seeing a sudden swell arise from a previously flat surface. The swell rapidly becomes a giant wave, I am being sucked towards it, and there’s a moment when the world stops, the wave is towering overhead, poised ready to break, and there is no stopping now what’s about to happen. When the wave of super-intense unfamiliar pleasure broke, it crashed down on the very crown of my head first, simultaneously blowing my mind and rolling down my spine taking every nerve ending in its path, to finally crash onto the shore of my entire pelvic region and that deep dark purple centre, where the sensation met itself and rippled back outwards across my entire body, meeting another wave that was already in hot pursuit. And so waves continued to roll down from my head, and my back was involuntarily arched and head thrown back. They got smaller and smaller – there were maybe 5 or 6 waves in all - eventually subsiding into a calm but sparkling ocean of euphoria. By now I was laughing with joy, and K woke up and said “What?”

For an anxious person such as me, surprise can be traumatic. This was a trauma of a positively cosmic nature. And here’s the thing: it was NOT induced by feeling turned on. I was half asleep! And it wasn't induced by feeling attracted to my partner – the only role my partner played was a detached one, supplying ‘the finger’ and the element of surprise, as catalyst. It was all about sensation, the right stimulation, and the unexpected.

Naturally, I made K follow up, over several ensuing evenings, with more of said stimulation, but we never got there again. I was now trying too hard, had expectations and thoughts that were roadblocking my neural pathways. The ‘surprise’ had managed to bypass this. And I've never had one like it ever again.

But now I know why sexual people are crazy for it. ^_^

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I started masturbating to orgasm a few months ago and am so happy I discovered it. I don't fantasise whilst doing it but I enjoy the release it provides; the sensations that I can feel in my body; the general build-up and that moment when you realise you have reached a point of no return, and then it happens. It's the best feeling ever. It's amazing what your own body can do for you!

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Big fan of Laci Green! She's totally awesome and the main reason why I consider myself sex positive while simultaneously being ace.

Considering the topic I hope this isn't TMI, but I am kind of a frequent masturbater and porn indulger. It's taken a while but I've come to embrace the fact that these two facts do not contradict my ace status. I have no desire to be sexual with another person, but I do have a libido and that's just something I can take care of myself.

:cake:

The thing about me is that I enjoy stimulation/ masturbation, AND I want to have a sexual relationship with my partner. I still think this doesn't affect my "ace status" because I don't really feel "turned on" or sexually attracted to anyone, you know? It can be confusing at times, but oh well. I think I've reached my conclusion, and I'm happy now :)

Excuse me if this is too personal, but why do you wish to have sex with your partner? I only ask because I'm essentially the exact opposite ( you are an ace who wants sex, I'm allo and I don't) so I'm simply curious. Thank you!

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Ooh! Your thread title attracted me thinking I might have found the place to tell my Big-O story at last!

Yeah I masturbate regularly - it seems more like tension release and 'scratching an itch' than a sexual act. It's a gentle thing, a nice release of chemicals through the brain. I might be delve into my fictosexual fantasies which might get me in the mood initially, but when it gets down to closing the deal, I can't think sexy thoughts or stay in my fantasies if I want to get off. I can only come by getting into a sort of meditative state, or thinking of fetishy stuff that I don't term sexual.

I do, though, feel lucky because once upon a time, the universe gifted me with one Perfect Orgasm. And I was with another person at the time.

At the time, I was 21, and thought I'd been cured of my as yet unidentified ace status (I hadn't) It was like “oh so this is what it’s all about – I can expect more of these? Awesome!” But I never ever did again, so I look back on it now and it seems like a gift.

I was in bed with K, my first boyfriend. We’d been out somewhere and were pretty tired, we’d attempted to have sex but were both too sleepy, and maybe intoxicated, to proceed. Sex for me was an exercise in mild disappointment – happy my partner seemed to be getting off, while for me it was a mere grinding of bodies and expectation of some sort of pleasure that had never yet revealed itself. Anyway, we lay side by side with K’s hand settled in my genital zone which he had been half-heartedly trying to stimulate. As we both drifted off to sleep, his finger would move for a few moments, then be still, then twitch again, then still, and so on.

Suddenly I was wide awake with an awareness that something was going on. I barely even had time to frame a conscious thought, as my sensations raced from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds. The metaphor I use (a commonly used one I think but it’s just ideal) was like being out in a calm sea on my boogie board and seeing a sudden swell arise from a previously flat surface. The swell rapidly becomes a giant wave, I am being sucked towards it, and there’s a moment when the world stops, the wave is towering overhead, poised ready to break, and there is no stopping now what’s about to happen. When the wave of super-intense unfamiliar pleasure broke, it crashed down on the very crown of my head first, simultaneously blowing my mind and rolling down my spine taking every nerve ending in its path, to finally crash onto the shore of my entire pelvic region and that deep dark purple centre, where the sensation met itself and rippled back outwards across my entire body, meeting another wave that was already in hot pursuit. And so waves continued to roll down from my head, and my back was involuntarily arched and head thrown back. They got smaller and smaller – there were maybe 5 or 6 waves in all - eventually subsiding into a calm but sparkling ocean of euphoria. By now I was laughing with joy, and K woke up and said “What?”

For an anxious person such as me, surprise can be traumatic. This was a trauma of a positively cosmic nature. And here’s the thing: it was NOT induced by feeling turned on. I was half asleep! And it wasn't induced by feeling attracted to my partner – the only role my partner played was a detached one, supplying ‘the finger’ and the element of surprise, as catalyst. It was all about sensation, the right stimulation, and the unexpected.

Naturally, I made K follow up, over several ensuing evenings, with more of said stimulation, but we never got there again. I was now trying too hard, had expectations and thoughts that were roadblocking my neural pathways. The ‘surprise’ had managed to bypass this. And I've never had one like it ever again.

But now I know why sexual people are crazy for it. ^_^

Whoa.. the way you described this... none of my "orgasms" have ever been this pleasurable or intense. MAybe I haven't even reached that point at all yet? Or maybe mine are just less intense. I don't know.

But I completely know what you mean when you say the stimulation alone cause that sensation. It's not based on attraction or fantasies or being aroused or turned on. It's purely physical. It's like that for me too!

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Big fan of Laci Green! She's totally awesome and the main reason why I consider myself sex positive while simultaneously being ace.

Considering the topic I hope this isn't TMI, but I am kind of a frequent masturbater and porn indulger. It's taken a while but I've come to embrace the fact that these two facts do not contradict my ace status. I have no desire to be sexual with another person, but I do have a libido and that's just something I can take care of myself.

:cake:

The thing about me is that I enjoy stimulation/ masturbation, AND I want to have a sexual relationship with my partner. I still think this doesn't affect my "ace status" because I don't really feel "turned on" or sexually attracted to anyone, you know? It can be confusing at times, but oh well. I think I've reached my conclusion, and I'm happy now :)

Excuse me if this is too personal, but why do you wish to have sex with your partner? I only ask because I'm essentially the exact opposite ( you are an ace who wants sex, I'm allo and I don't) so I'm simply curious. Thank you!

Are you asking me, or skellyton? Either way, I do indeed want to have sex with my partner in the future. I used to be quite repulsed but now I am very curious about sex. I obviously (based on this post) enjoy stimulation, and I also really appreciate the emotional bond that forms during sex (only with someone I'm super close with). The only thing I don't feel is sexual attraction. Nobody really turns me on based on their physical appearance.

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I see ^.^ thank you for your reply.

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scarletlatitude

Ooh! Your thread title attracted me thinking I might have found the place to tell my Big-O story at last!

Yeah I masturbate regularly - it seems more like tension release and 'scratching an itch' than a sexual act. It's a gentle thing, a nice release of chemicals through the brain. I might be delve into my fictosexual fantasies which might get me in the mood initially, but when it gets down to closing the deal, I can't think sexy thoughts or stay in my fantasies if I want to get off. I can only come by getting into a sort of meditative state, or thinking of fetishy stuff that I don't term sexual.

I do, though, feel lucky because once upon a time, the universe gifted me with one Perfect Orgasm. And I was with another person at the time.

At the time, I was 21, and thought I'd been cured of my as yet unidentified ace status (I hadn't) It was like “oh so this is what it’s all about – I can expect more of these? Awesome!” But I never ever did again, so I look back on it now and it seems like a gift.

I was in bed with K, my first boyfriend. We’d been out somewhere and were pretty tired, we’d attempted to have sex but were both too sleepy, and maybe intoxicated, to proceed. Sex for me was an exercise in mild disappointment – happy my partner seemed to be getting off, while for me it was a mere grinding of bodies and expectation of some sort of pleasure that had never yet revealed itself. Anyway, we lay side by side with K’s hand settled in my genital zone which he had been half-heartedly trying to stimulate. As we both drifted off to sleep, his finger would move for a few moments, then be still, then twitch again, then still, and so on.

Suddenly I was wide awake with an awareness that something was going on. I barely even had time to frame a conscious thought, as my sensations raced from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds. The metaphor I use (a commonly used one I think but it’s just ideal) was like being out in a calm sea on my boogie board and seeing a sudden swell arise from a previously flat surface. The swell rapidly becomes a giant wave, I am being sucked towards it, and there’s a moment when the world stops, the wave is towering overhead, poised ready to break, and there is no stopping now what’s about to happen. When the wave of super-intense unfamiliar pleasure broke, it crashed down on the very crown of my head first, simultaneously blowing my mind and rolling down my spine taking every nerve ending in its path, to finally crash onto the shore of my entire pelvic region and that deep dark purple centre, where the sensation met itself and rippled back outwards across my entire body, meeting another wave that was already in hot pursuit. And so waves continued to roll down from my head, and my back was involuntarily arched and head thrown back. They got smaller and smaller – there were maybe 5 or 6 waves in all - eventually subsiding into a calm but sparkling ocean of euphoria. By now I was laughing with joy, and K woke up and said “What?”

For an anxious person such as me, surprise can be traumatic. This was a trauma of a positively cosmic nature. And here’s the thing: it was NOT induced by feeling turned on. I was half asleep! And it wasn't induced by feeling attracted to my partner – the only role my partner played was a detached one, supplying ‘the finger’ and the element of surprise, as catalyst. It was all about sensation, the right stimulation, and the unexpected.

Naturally, I made K follow up, over several ensuing evenings, with more of said stimulation, but we never got there again. I was now trying too hard, had expectations and thoughts that were roadblocking my neural pathways. The ‘surprise’ had managed to bypass this. And I've never had one like it ever again.

But now I know why sexual people are crazy for it. ^_^

You should write stories because that was very vivid.

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Ooh! Your thread title attracted me thinking I might have found the place to tell my Big-O story at last!

Yeah I masturbate regularly - it seems more like tension release and 'scratching an itch' than a sexual act. It's a gentle thing, a nice release of chemicals through the brain. I might be delve into my fictosexual fantasies which might get me in the mood initially, but when it gets down to closing the deal, I can't think sexy thoughts or stay in my fantasies if I want to get off. I can only come by getting into a sort of meditative state, or thinking of fetishy stuff that I don't term sexual.

I do, though, feel lucky because once upon a time, the universe gifted me with one Perfect Orgasm. And I was with another person at the time.

At the time, I was 21, and thought I'd been cured of my as yet unidentified ace status (I hadn't) It was like “oh so this is what it’s all about – I can expect more of these? Awesome!” But I never ever did again, so I look back on it now and it seems like a gift.

I was in bed with K, my first boyfriend. We’d been out somewhere and were pretty tired, we’d attempted to have sex but were both too sleepy, and maybe intoxicated, to proceed. Sex for me was an exercise in mild disappointment – happy my partner seemed to be getting off, while for me it was a mere grinding of bodies and expectation of some sort of pleasure that had never yet revealed itself. Anyway, we lay side by side with K’s hand settled in my genital zone which he had been half-heartedly trying to stimulate. As we both drifted off to sleep, his finger would move for a few moments, then be still, then twitch again, then still, and so on.

Suddenly I was wide awake with an awareness that something was going on. I barely even had time to frame a conscious thought, as my sensations raced from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds. The metaphor I use (a commonly used one I think but it’s just ideal) was like being out in a calm sea on my boogie board and seeing a sudden swell arise from a previously flat surface. The swell rapidly becomes a giant wave, I am being sucked towards it, and there’s a moment when the world stops, the wave is towering overhead, poised ready to break, and there is no stopping now what’s about to happen. When the wave of super-intense unfamiliar pleasure broke, it crashed down on the very crown of my head first, simultaneously blowing my mind and rolling down my spine taking every nerve ending in its path, to finally crash onto the shore of my entire pelvic region and that deep dark purple centre, where the sensation met itself and rippled back outwards across my entire body, meeting another wave that was already in hot pursuit. And so waves continued to roll down from my head, and my back was involuntarily arched and head thrown back. They got smaller and smaller – there were maybe 5 or 6 waves in all - eventually subsiding into a calm but sparkling ocean of euphoria. By now I was laughing with joy, and K woke up and said “What?”

For an anxious person such as me, surprise can be traumatic. This was a trauma of a positively cosmic nature. And here’s the thing: it was NOT induced by feeling turned on. I was half asleep! And it wasn't induced by feeling attracted to my partner – the only role my partner played was a detached one, supplying ‘the finger’ and the element of surprise, as catalyst. It was all about sensation, the right stimulation, and the unexpected.

Naturally, I made K follow up, over several ensuing evenings, with more of said stimulation, but we never got there again. I was now trying too hard, had expectations and thoughts that were roadblocking my neural pathways. The ‘surprise’ had managed to bypass this. And I've never had one like it ever again.

But now I know why sexual people are crazy for it. ^_^

You should write stories because that was very vivid.

Agreed. I noticed that while I was reading it.

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Betty Badinbed

Why thank you Canon Fangirl and Scarletaltitude. ^_^

I do enjoy writing stories, and am also a copywriter by profession!

I've also contributed to 'Ace and Proud', the newly released asexual anthology by Purple Cake Press, http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B013TSTLH2/

which I hope she will soon announce somewhere on the forum.

Yep, that big-O was pretty much a one-off event. I remember it so vividly because I've never experienced it anything quite like it since. I was 21 at the time (now 48) so I joke to myself that 21 was my sexual peak.

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Not quite sure of my label (still learning the terms), but I know for sure that I don't want to have partnered sex with anyone. That being said I mastubate regularly. It's never a wow I want to hurry to bed so I can pleasure myself type of thing. It's more like a hmm I can make myself feel really good if I so desire. Some days no, but most days yes. I really have no libido, never think about sex. I do have some good fantasies that help the cause so to speak, but no desire to make them come true. Lastly I have recently had to increase my frequency due to my newest ailment RLS ( restless leg syndrome). Masturbating really helps. From my research on AVEN, masturbation does not disqualify one from being ace.

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scarletlatitude

^correct. You can masturbate and still be an ace because asexuality means no sexual attraction. It is the difference between attraction and action. ;)

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CatastropheCat

Wow, this is really cool. I'm new to the ace world and I haven't really thought of having sex/receiving sexual touches just as a physical thing. For me, even a vibe doesn't do too much besides stimulate me physically and I was just like "well that's it then. Guess I'm never getting that orgasm." It's cool to hear that other people who identify as ace have experienced and enjoyed sexual things even without arousal.

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Wow, this is really cool. I'm new to the ace world and I haven't really thought of having sex/receiving sexual touches just as a physical thing. For me, even a vibe doesn't do too much besides stimulate me physically and I was just like "well that's it then. Guess I'm never getting that orgasm." It's cool to hear that other people who identify as ace have experienced and enjoyed sexual things even without arousal.

It's pretty amazing. For such a long time I was completely grossed out by ANYTHING remotely sexual. As soon as I started watching Laci Green, I started to feel less ashamed of sexuality and started to discover masturbation. Once I did that, the idea of partnered sex become really desirable for me and I started to become really comfortable with my sexuality. I still think I am ace because I don't actually get turned on by fantasies or people, but I can physically feel the stimulation and emotionally feel a connection during sex :)))

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