I don't know if I'm Asexual

[lking888]

I recently started noticing that I'm just not interested in sex. But, when I was growing up I did become aroused like I thought a normal teenager does. But now that I think back I never really thought of anyone as "hot" like my friends did.

I guess I'm asking if any of you experienced this... do people that identify as asexual ever get aroused, maybe when they were a teenager? I hope it's not a strange question. I just feel confused right now.

[RatherBeReading]

Hi, welcome to Aven!

What you are experiencing is totally normal, and loads of us here have gone through the same thing! Sexual arousal is a physical thing, it is not directly related to sexual attraction - just think, a lot of men wake up with an erection, without even a single sexual thought! Arousal is just something the body does. It sounds like you weren't sexually attracted to anyone during that time, so I would still say you are as ace as the rest of us! :)

[Tetus]

While ultimately only you can say whether or not you experience sexual attraction, I will say that your experience sounds a lot like mine.

I didn't come to understand that I was asexual until very recently, mainly because I assumed growing up that the arousal I experienced was the sexual attraction I was "supposed" to feel. The funniest thing to me is that you mention being confused about your friends describing people as "hot" - this is definitely something I went through as well, but never really knew what to make of it. I kind of always assumed they were exaggerating and/or that I was just more polite?

Anyway, don't stress too hard over labels. It's way more important for you to feel comfortable with yourself than it is to know what term might best describe you. Besides which, all sexuality is on a spectrum anyway, so chances are that if you feel a label fits, you're right, even if you're not totally identical to others who use it.

[Member 92789]

When I wasin high school, I never wanted to have sex with anyone as well. But I did think guys were cute or hot. But I didn't wanna do anything further than that, I just wanted a romantic relationship with them. One thing that always confused me in high school was why people were so interested in sex? I just didn't see why? There's more to life than just sex..you know? It use to irritate me, and it still does.

[Alwaysatimetodance]

I'm still at the moment confused. I've really never been interested in a boy. I may think one is cute but I'm not even sure I've truly had a crush. I don't know if I watched to many movies or what but I've never been comfortable with the idea of sex. People say I'll change my mind as I get older, but so far I haven't. Im not sure if I'm not sexually attracted or if I haven't matured enough. I guess my question is when do you truly know?

[Pengwyn]

Arousal is a symptom of having a libido, and does not affect asexuality. It is just something your body does and is not necessarily linked to sexual attraction.

I'm still at the moment confused. I've really never been interested in a boy. I may think one is cute but I'm not even sure I've truly had a crush. I don't know if I watched to many movies or what but I've never been comfortable with the idea of sex. People say I'll change my mind as I get older, but so far I haven't. Im not sure if I'm not sexually attracted or if I haven't matured enough. I guess my question is when do you truly know?

Most people begin to feel sexual attraction around 11 years of age. Generally, a late bloomer would not really be older than fourteen. As long as you have been through puberty, you are old enough to feel sexual attraction, however it sometimes starts at the same age as puberty.