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Hi, I'm new here...


Altalune

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First off, I'm 16 years old and female.

I've always identified as heterosexual, until this year. I mean, not really--I'm still confused and unsure and I'm not ready to identify myself as anything just yet. I just need to hear opinions from people who understand I guess, which is why I'm here.

I've had crushes before, I think some boys are cute and all. I've called boys "hot" or "sexy", but honestly, I've never really liked those words. I thought they didn't quite fit coming out of my mouth. When I say them I mean them as a "that boy is aesthetically pleasing" type of way. The sexual parts were just never for me.

My friends would refer to their crushes in sexual ways, I guess. Things they'd do to them or whatever, or what they'd do if they had the chance to be with them in a room. I said things along the same lines because I felt I had to, you know? I didn't know they were being serious. I thought they were just saying those things in an exaggerated way. That was my first clue I suppose.

Then I'd hear couples at school talking about their adventures in the sack if you catch my drift. I would think, "Well, good for you! Doesn't seem all that fun to me, though." I wasn't interested. I was curious sometimes about what it'd be/feel like, which I guess might be natural? Is that too forward of me? What I'm trying to get at, is that I've never felt that desire.

That was the second clue.

I ended up Googling it one night to see if there was something wrong with me. Maybe it's my depression, maybe it's my social anxiety. I wasn't convinced those were causing it though and then I found out about asexuality. It sounded like me, and I thought I could identify myself, finally. I'm still unsure though.

Right now, the whole thing is just a huge jumbled mess in my head. Everything is foggy and unclear, and I'm not ready to identify as ace yet because if someone were to ask me something, I don't think even I'd know the answer, because of the jumbled mess. Privately, I'd say I identify as asexual.

I'm not even sure what questions to begin asking, but I'm kind of glad that I think I'm heading in the right direction. Kind of nervous about posting this though. :redface:

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darkesthour

Hello Altalune :)

i can relate to that feeling of having a "jumbled mess" in your head. But I think you found the right place and I hope it will help you understand yourself a little more.

This is a great community to be part of. Welcome! :cake:

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Hi and welcome! This site is full of friendly and supportive people, so don't be nervous. I think if you keep reading around and thinking about it all and how you might relate to what you read, it will all fall into place. I'm glad you joined and hope you love being part of this awesome community!!! :)

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Hullo, nice to meet you and welcome to AVEN! :cake: :cake: I'm glad you have decided to join, introduce yourself, and share your story with us!

Then I'd hear couples at school talking about their adventures in the sack if you catch my drift.

:mellow: .... Sorry, I don't... I guess I'll add that to my list of ace moments? Though, I'll admit, I can't help but think of those potato sacks that people hop in on field day in elementary schools... :unsure:

Anyways, this is a great place to learn more about yourself. In the end, just go with whatever makes you feel comfortable. :) Again welcome, and more cake! :cake: :cake: I hope you enjoy it here!

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Hullo, nice to meet you and welcome to AVEN! :cake: :cake: I'm glad you have decided to join, introduce yourself, and share your story with us!

Then I'd hear couples at school talking about their adventures in the sack if you catch my drift.

:mellow: .... Sorry, I don't... I guess I'll add that to my list of ace moments? Though, I'll admit, I can't help but think of those potato sacks that people hop in on field day in elementary schools... :unsure:

Hopping in potato sacks was outlawed at my elementary school :mad:. No fun allowed ahahaha.

I'm glad I found a friendly/welcoming community though. :) And there's so much cake!! :cake::cake:

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DeadChick9182

I just popped into the comment to say I totally related to this.

For the love of your sanity please don't feel pressured into doing something you don't feel like doing. Experimenting is cool and all but please make sure if you do that you don't chose a twat.

I just felt the need to say this. Sorry if this seems out of place.

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SwirlyKitten

Welcome. Don't mind your friends. Only say or do things because you want to.

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