gracious Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 I was wondering how you all tend to bring up the subject of asexuality with people who might be interested in you. So far I've only ever brought it up with one person who was flirting with me, and then I basically just said, "so I feel like you're flirting with me, and that makes me really nervous, but I don't necessarily want you to stop, I just want you to know that these things make me really nervous. And that ideally for me we would just flirt for probably the next six months or so before anything else happened (and yes, I know that most people probably have a shorter timeline than that in mind when they start flirting with someone)." That went pretty well and he was really accomodating. But it is still difficult to know how to bring it up every time someone might be flirting with me. I don't know that there is any way that this sort of thing could be brought up without some level of vulnerability, which is always a little scary and difficult. But I am curious if any of you have found an easy way to do this, or how these sorts of conversations have gone for all of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Gotsu Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Have you tried the olde "I want to take things slowly"? I agree that is not the best solution, but it works for demisexuallity, since you are basically saying that you need more time to see where the relationship goes and if it will ever develop into something. I'd like the idea of just saying that you are asexual from the beginning thought. It makes things simpler in the long run. In a side note, when a girl saids "your flirt makes me really nervous, but I don't want you to stop" sounds like an encouragement to me, maybe even a challenge, but it does give the idea that you need more space to feel comfortable. I personally just say that I'm interested in them rather than their bodies, but most girls find it very blunt and boring, but maybe is just me. Link to post Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 I think taking it slow is a good way to say it^. I can come out as Demisexual but someone may not understand so I would need to explain anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
Wyrmcraft Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 Yeah, taking it slow or just that you really need to get to know someone first is the easiest way. Don't bother being clinical with people, the word Demisexual doesn't even need to show up in the conversation as it might confuse some people. Link to post Share on other sites
Snusmumriken Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 Hey, lucky you! At least people flirt with you. Some others don't even have that chance. You can just say: I need confidence to have sex... or I only concieve sex with love... or for me, sex is deeper than just a physical enjoyment... or... Then you might say there is a name for that. Link to post Share on other sites
StygianSoul Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 I recently had a "I like you but don't want to have sex with you," conversation during the first date I went on with a guy. It went a little like, "I'm interested in dating you, but I want you to understand that I'm really not interested in sex," and then I explained the world of asexuality to him. It may not be the best idea to wait until the first date, but that's when I, personally, think the deadline for that conversation should be. We were friends before and we're friends now, even if we aren't anything else, but I'm glad I told him. It's better to know how someone will react in the beginning than to actually get close and have to break up, in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
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