I need help

[mathilda00]

How old where you when you discovered you were asexual? because I'm 15 and I'm like 90% sure I am asexual but sometimes i think that I'm to young to feel sexual feeling towards someone even though my friends does and i don't.

[WinterWanderer]

Labels (asexual, gray-sexual, etc.) don't always fit everyone. So you may be somewhere on the spectrum, but don't know exactly which label fits for you yet.

I'm 21, and I didn't know for sure that I was ace until I actually had more relationship experience. I knew before then that I wasn't very interested in sex, but I didn't realize that I actually wasn't attracted to anyone at all, until I went out on dates. When I dated, I was never attracted to the person I went out with. At first I thought I just needed to find the right guy, until I learned about asexuality and realized it fit me perfectly.

[purplesnow]

How old where you when you discovered you were asexual? because I'm 15 and I'm like 90% sure I am asexual but sometimes i think that I'm to young to feel sexual feeling towards someone even though my friends does and i don't.

At any point in your life, your sexuality might change - particularly when you're young. I didn't really work it out until I was 25 and had had a couple of relationships, though the signs were all definitely there from the age of 15. You might be asexual now, but not in a year's time - that's fine too. Don't worry about it too much. It'll come in time. :)

[Unlabeled]

How old where you when you discovered you were asexual? because I'm 15 and I'm like 90% sure I am asexual but sometimes i think that I'm to young to feel sexual feeling towards someone even though my friends does and i don't.

Annecdotally at least I've heard gay men say they knew they were gay as young as 5. Whatever who we're attracted to, or not is, I think we have a sense of it very early indeed. Ultimately it's not for others to tell another when they'll know something like this because it's all so soft and squishy rather than hard and firm reality. If you feel attracted or not at a given age that's every bit as real and true as anyone else's sense of their own. But no one can tell you it's real, only you yourself can do that.

[Mor]

I was 17, but now I think back, there are things that happened earlier in my teens which make me think "yeah, that was a sign even then".

[whocaresthough]

I figured at fifteen. I don't think you're too young, as my fifteen year old ex was obsessed with the idea of sex. If you can guess, that's why he's the ex. :/

[Elluna Hellen]

I was 23, but for a while before that I knew about asexuality and then thought i was a late bloomer.

But hey. If you're 15 and you think you're ace... Say so. You can be asexual at fifteen. If things change, so be it. better to have that happen (as long as you don't cling to the label if it does) than to waste time thinking you're too young.

[what fine marble]

I first found AVEN when I was 16 and everything I saw here seemed to fit me because I'd been feeling different since I was about 13 when everyone started to do the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing for the first time. I always thought back then that my friends were doing what they thought they were supposed to and making up these feelings they talked about in order to seem more grown up. I was convinced that, in time, I'd get the real feelings you're supposed to have if you're sexual. I actually thought that this philosophy made me more mature! Then I began to realise that people weren't going through the motions or faking anything. I was just different, and I was alone in that difference. Finding AVEN, I found that I was still different but now I had a word to describe it and, best of all: I wasn't alone.

I'm 23 now, so it's 7 years since I found the label and I still identify as asexual. I don't know if I'll still identify this way in another 7 years because we can't know the future and anything can happen at any time. I think at 15 you're old enough to know certain things about yourself, but it's a time when a lot is changing about and around you in general. As was said above: don't worry about it too much. Be open to things, but be true to yourself. Don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable and just let life happen naturally. If your feelings change: fine. If they don't: still fine.

[Nadia Hope]

I realised quite late, when I was 26. There was always signs, like since puberty hit me. I just didn't understand what I was feeling or what I was lacking in my feelings towards other people. It took a long time for me to understand myself.

I don't think you are too young to know. If you don't feel comfortable labelling yourself as an asexual right now, that's perfectly ok. And of course, sexuality is fluid for some. Maybe it will change for you or maybe it won't. If you feel 90% that you are asexual, then you are. It's you who choose the label for yourself and if you think it is suitable then you are an asexual. :)

[Odo]

I realised I was asexual when I was 14. One day it just struck me that I had never experienced any romantic or sexual feelings toward another person and that I just wasn't very interested in such things while it seemed to be all the other kids could think about since the fourth grade. I returned home from school googled "the average age of first sexual attraction" and everything just clicked.

By the way here's an interesting article on the topic of first sexual attraction:

http://homepage.univie.ac.at/Michael.Berger/lit/McClintock.pdf

[Sandshrew]

I found it when I was 16, I don't think its too early for you to know. I'm still in denial about other people having sexual feelings towards other people even in high school, but I've got to accept that I knew about people having sex in middle school, so I don't think you are too young to be having sexual feelings yet. I would just continue to poke around here and see if you can relate to the experiences that other asexuals have had and you can continue to see what you think about yourself.

[Plectrophenax]

Strictly biologically speaking, there is a possibility that your sexual desire just hasn't fully 'awakened' yet. It isn't necessarily likely, though, and as many have already said, there's little use to define yourself in terms that don't yet but may soon apply to you. If you, at the present moment, feel like the term asexual accurately describes you, then asexual you are. Asexuality is not a commitment, it is first and foremost a description. So, in that respect, it is not too early for your realisation.

Personally, I just kind of passed through my teens and literally nothing happened to change my outlook - primarily because I was not very social and thus spared relationship experiences, group pressure or even semi-joking discussions. The label itself is not relevant in the slightest to this process.

I always thought back then that my friends were doing what they thought they were supposed to and making up these feelings they talked about in order to seem more grown up.

Amen to that. It felt like a spiel that was connected with invisible threads called "love" and, sometimes "sex", in order to reflect the grown-up world where couples exist and have children.

I'm still in denial about other people having sexual feelings towards other people even in high school

Amen to this as well. Even more so because I don't talk to people about sexuality. For all I know, 90% of my acquaintances could be asexual.

[KuraiTsuki]

I was 15. You're definitely not too young to figure it out.

[thekittyhawk]

I'm 15 now and after quite a lot of questioning, I'm pretty sure I'm asexual. The way I see it, a few centuries ago the teenage years were the prime of life and if we hadn't had kids by now, we'd be considered barren(!) Humans haven't evolved to feel sexual attraction later in life - if your age is your only concern, I'd say you can label yourself however you want as a 15 year old!