Nicatine Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Hello, I am new here and i am just really confused, At first i would say i was straight but in reality have NO sexual attraction whatsoever. And then I started thinking some other things and I am just getting completely confused. I have an interest in playful relationships (Kind of like a friendship but it's a relationship, if it makes sense). I have no sexual desire and I'm not big into kissing however the other things for sensual attraction I am fine with.. I only have interest with females but.. it just doesn't feel right simply saying "Oh yeah, I am straight 1000%" like.. yes I only get feelings toward females but it isn't romantic.. I love the personalities. and I also looked at demisexuality and that wasn't fitting for me because i start to get feelings really quick as opposed to after a long time. I am sorry if iot was all confusing I just have been hving trouble the last maonth trying to find what to accurately describe myself and i am sorry if this is the incorrect site for it and thank you for your time and help, I really appreciate it Quote Link to post Share on other sites
darkesthour Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Hi Mama_Luigi, :) Welcome to AVEN. It sounds like you found just the right website. You'll notice many people here are still a bit unsure of what asexual type they are, if any. Maybe after looking around further on the forums and talking to some people here you'll understand more. Best wishes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nicatine Posted August 2, 2015 Author Share Posted August 2, 2015 Thank you darkesthour, it's atleast nice to know if i am on the right site haha. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
idkwhatami Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Welcome to AVEN! This is definitely the right place. I'm not sure but you could look into queerplatonic? I haven't really looked into it myself, but the playful relationship thing makes me think of that? Good luck figuring it out! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 A queerplatonic relationship (QPR)/queerplatonic crushes? Unfortunately it has no orientation title so platonic or sensual titles are used; if you want a sensually QPR then Aromantic Heterosensual would be accurate for you. And kissing isn't for everyone, so that doesn't automatically rule out romantic attraction. Though there are different types of attraction so maybe that's what you're feeling. I'll post them tomorrow. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nicatine Posted August 2, 2015 Author Share Posted August 2, 2015 Thank you both, I actually never heard of queerplatonic so that is new for me haha. But thank you all. I never had anyone that i could like... ask about it and being able togo onto a forum and ask instantly and be accepted and such (obviously with the whole site meaning and such haha) it means a lot. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Here's what i said I'd post. Queerplatonic relationship (QPR): an emotionally platonic relationship that has characteristics of a romantic/sexual relationship. It can be an importance/closeness stronger than the best friend norm, displaying platonic sensual attraction above the norm (only differing from romantic sensual attraction with chaste kissing, although preferring chaste kissing or no kissing does not make one’s feelings unromantic), friends with sexual benefits, romantically pleasing someone they platonically love (QP to one and romantic to the other, although it's their decision on what they call the relationship), or any combination of those. They may or may not have monogamy, live together, or look like a couple to the public. Romantics and Aromantics can have QPRs. There are 6 different types of attractions, they can all be felt separately and in different combinations. Other than romantic attraction; obviously, the following attractions can also be felt platonically. · Sexual attraction- The impulse/urge to have sex with a specific someone; to do sexual things to their body. In sexual people this desire is triggered by someone’s presence being sexually arousing. What is sexual strictly involves sexual arousal in any direct or indirect way. Your body may find things sexual/react with arousal, but actions should not be called sexual unless you want them done for the arousal. · Romantic attraction- Without the other attractions present and all the variations in intensity and wants and unwants that are possible in a romantic relationship, it's left up to an emotion, and emotions don't translate well into words so it's then left up to your own interpretation if they're platonic, romantic, or queerplatonic (QP). Other threads have tried to put it into words but always came back to it being platonically applicable or too vague. But it at least involves soft/fuzzy feelings and a degree of fixation (at least in comparison to that person’s normal behavior with other people). Some people have a physical reaction to the feeling (i.e. butterflies in your stomach, dreamy mind state, etc.) and others don't. · Aesthetic attraction- a fixation on someone because of their looks and or mannerisms; having a pull to look at them. It is different from recognizing good looks/what is "aesthetically pleasing" with no fixation. This does not mean a romantic or platonic relationship is desired but attractions can be felt with other attractions. · Sensual attraction- an urge to have non-sexual physical contact; to cuddle, hold hands, etc. Platonically displaying this more than the norm can qualify as a type of queerplatonic relationship (QPR). This would probably only differ from romantic sensual attraction with chaste kissing and be best compared to the same desired display toward a pet. But this word is typically applied toward other humans. · Emotional attraction- a fixation on someone because of their emotions; and by extent, personality; how they are stoic, optimistic, etc. I would compare it to admirance or a favorite character. This does not mean a romantic or platonic relationship is desired but attractions can be felt with other attractions. · Platonic attraction- a strong desire to know or befriend someone (aka a squish; a play on the romantic word crush, but a desire to know someone is also typically felt with romantic attraction). Many Aromantics misinterpreted this as romantic attraction before knowing their orientation. Romantics and Aromantics can have squishes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Unlabeled Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Hello, I am new here and i am just really confused, At first i would say i was straight but in reality have NO sexual attraction whatsoever. And then I started thinking some other things and I am just getting completely confused. I have an interest in playful relationships (Kind of like a friendship but it's a relationship, if it makes sense). I have no sexual desire and I'm not big into kissing however the other things for sensual attraction I am fine with.. I only have interest with females but.. it just doesn't feel right simply saying "Oh yeah, I am straight 1000%" like.. yes I only get feelings toward females but it isn't romantic.. I love the personalities. and I also looked at demisexuality and that wasn't fitting for me because i start to get feelings really quick as opposed to after a long time. I am sorry if iot was all confusing I just have been hving trouble the last maonth trying to find what to accurately describe myself and i am sorry if this is the incorrect site for it and thank you for your time and help, I really appreciate it Think the massive number of possibilities we have for defining 'our thing' now causes many undo stress. Ultimately they're just words, not binding realities, and they can change on a dime. But if you know who you want to be with, are with them, what's the words matter? Other than for purposes of filling out a dating profile to find someone you'd click with, they're totally superflouous. Be who and what you are absent the words and labels. Works even better than spending an afternoon reading a glossary and defining your thing. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
idkwhatami Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 (But if you do like labels that's not an issue either. Having labels is a choice, as is what labels you take on if you want them. If you have any more questions ask away and we'll do our best to answer!) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nicatine Posted August 2, 2015 Author Share Posted August 2, 2015 I understand what you are saying about labels, it is just annoying explaining it haha. And thank you star, that helped me a lot because it does fit me pretty well. So thank you for taking your time :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 I've an opinion that labels (really, I prefer calling them "terms", but sometimes refer to them as "labels" for simplicity's sake) are to be helpful, not stressful. And something that I often like to quote "You own the label, the label doesn't own you". I'm pretty lighthearted about labels. All they really are is something that is simply a part of who someone is, not defining them as a whole person. If people want a label because it makes them happy and they're comfortable with that, then good for them! If people are happy without identifying themselves with a label, then good for them too! And if people happen to find a new label that better fits them and they identify with such, that's fine as well. They can change what label they identify with as often as they please, since there are some labels that aren't as well known (asexuality is a prime example) or because of sexual fluidity, etc. So to the OP, I'd say just go with whatever makes you comfortable. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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