Future life plans?

[DrDoctorson]

Hopefully after I pay for all my schooling (after I.... you know.... go to college) I can work as an animator and/or graphic artist and travel around the country in a RV with a dog and possibly a partner. After doing that I want to settle down in a city somewhere, maybe in an apartment or maybe rally enough friends together that we can like rent a building and live like a community. I don't really have long term down but I've got an idea which is nice.

[Merperson]

Well, I don't know for certain how the future will turn out for me just yet, but... ideally, I would end up in a QP relationship with a person (or persons) and travel together as much as we can, eventually settling down somewhere cozy. Children aren't out of the question, since I love them and plan on pursuing a career as a kindergarten teacher ^_^ adoption is the way. though; no pregnancy for me, thank you very much.

Finally having a dog or three would also be nice, too :D :D

[Zorc]

I don't have the desire for marriage or children, probably not even a romantic relationship to be honest... What I do have the desire for is to hang with my bestie, have lots of cute pets and travel the world.

[News_Junkie]

Just was talking to an older friend of mine about this today (it wasn't framed as aro-ace discussion, but she is unmarried and childless and plans to stay that way). Her plan? FRIENDS. Lots of 'em. You make friends, you enjoy your life, you enjoy each other, and you take care of each other. Spouse/children is just one path our society gives us, but there are plenty of people out there who are happily living in alternative ways.

[toprakkokusu]

I would like to live in my little future house with full of books and a romantic relationship. :)

[Robin L]

The cliche, I guess? Get job, get house, car, get married, have kids. Except no marriage and no kids. Wait, maybe this isn't so cliche after all...what was I saying again?

I wish to live with someone who I am truely comfortable with. Someone I like and trust. I have a mental list of close friends (it's pretty short) and a subsection for people I would want to live with (which, after some recent changes, only includes one person). Only problem is that they live two bajillion kilometers away from me.

My parents always told me that I should make life choices that suit me best, but I know that they want me to marry and have children. Not sure how to take that.

[Shaala]

Get a stable job, and when the stable job allows me to support someone else, adopt a kid. Then become a crazy cat lady. This pretty much sums my future up.

[DannyFenton123]

I’m going to buy meself a little farm of Fiji and I’m going to get a sheep and a cow and breed 'orses...

In all seriousness, I'll just live on my own, near my family and my friends. I don't want a big house, just something little and cozy :)

[EmotionalAndroid]

I wanted to quote Rick from Casablanca here and say "I never make plans that far ahead," as it is mostly true. The whole truth is that I don't want to think about the future -- it's far too frightening for me. The thought of my parents being gone and me being alone in this horrible modern world makes me feel ill.

In an ideal world, as in my ultimate daydream of how I'd like to spend the rest of my life, I would like to become incredibly close platonic friends with at least one male aro-ace and we'd live right next door to each other. We'd always do fun stuff together and always be there for one another if either of us needed anything. We'd be complete equals in everything. Again, in an ideal world, we'd have our own business doing something we both enjoy. So yes, that would mean a career change. I currently am not terribly keen on my line of work.

My current "plans" then are just "wait and see what happens."

[Guest]

I'm not exactly sure what I want. I can imagine myself living alone and I'm fine with that, but I also don't mind if someone comes into my life. It's the same with children; I fine living without having any, but I wouldn't mind if I do end up having some. I'm very open about what becomes of my life.

My current partner wants to find someone to settle down with and maybe adopt a kid or two, so I guess that's where my life is headed right now. xD

[gayasanaro]

My life goals...

First, get a job. Next, go to college. Third, become a librarian. Fourth, get a cat and maybe share an apartment with a friend. Fifth, world domination

[Jobi1]

I wouldn't be averse to having some sort of long-term relationship but I think it's pretty unlikely. I really dislike traditional concepts of marriage mostly because I struggle with feelings anyway and in the rare event that I found a person, I'd be extremely uncomfortable with demonstrating those feelings in front of other people (ie my family). I also don't particularly like the idea of having kids. I feel like both of these things are being forced on me by society, especially since I'm AFAB.

I'm not sure how much these feelings stem from a dislike of people telling me what to do. My family seem very certain that I'll get married and have a family because that's what people do. But every time they show some sense of entitlement to my hypothetical children, I become even more certain that I want nothing to do with them. My mum especially is quite annoyed that she'll never have grandchildren through me.

So yeah, I'll probably end up living alone forever. My career is always going to come first so I'm glad that I don't get distracted by relationships or lack thereof

[Naokosuku]

I've always wanted a mini pack. A small group of people just bound together and building a life. Though I always figure I won't find people who would want to live like that so a relationship with a person who doesn't mind my need for attention mix with my need to be left alone at times would be great. Then if I could adopt some kids or own some big pets. My life would be good. If they want to travel in and out of the US with me. Even better.

[Kazu]

Life doesn't usually go according to plan but in 10 years I'd love to be in some kind relationship. Since my romantic orientation's kind of weird, I'd ideally want it to be a mix of a queer platonic relationship and a romantic one. I'd like to be fluent or at least conversational in 3 languages by this time too. I don't really know where I'd prefer to live though. I want to live in Switzerland at some point but aside from possibly studying abroad in college, I don't know if I'll get the chance to do that in 10 years or so. A one or two bedroom apartment in a northern coastal or mountainous city would be my next choice. As for my job, assuming the major I plan on going into doesn't get changed, hopefully in 10 years I'll be a meteorologist as well. Also cats or some other small animal, having one or two of those would be cool.

[Wallflowerbaby13]

So I'm new here. I have very recently come to realize that I'm aro-ace. I'm 23 and have never been in a relationship -- I just thought I was a "late bloomer" and I would eventually find the right guy. I realize now that I never really *wanted* a relationship in the first place, and it was only due to societal pressures and norms that I thought I wanted/needed one.

I am currently coming to terms with being aro-ace and the likelihood that I will never desire a romantic relationship, and am wondering where that leaves my future. I had kind of always assumed that I would get married eventually and have a family because that's what you're supposed to do, right? But since I probably won't ever desire that I'm wondering what else is out there.

I'm 29 and at least somewhat romantic, but otherwise this sounds exactly like me! I always thought I wanted to get married and have kids, and now that I've realized I don't actually want to get married in the usual sense, I'm starting to wonder about the children part too. It's disconcerting to suddenly be questioning feelings that I'd taken for truth most of my life.

Right now I live at home with my parents, a situation that suits us all very well. Otherwise I think I'd live by myself with some cats. The idea of being Crazy Cat Ladies together with my best friend sounds appealing, except that she wants to get married once she finds the right guy. Something else I've considered, at least briefly, is living in one of those communal houses that are becoming popular these days - something where there are other people around if you need them, but you don't necessarily have to interact if you don't want to.

Career-wise I'm not at all ambitious, which is something of a problem - I have a part-time job that I enjoy, but it's not enough to live on if I needed to support myself. I want a life where I have plenty of time for the things I love to do - reading, writing, designing knitting patterns - and I'm not quite sure how to find a job that A) pays enough to support me, B) leaves me enough free time, and C) I can stand as a long-term option.

Almost exactly my life twin right now! Still live with my mother and not sure if I'll ever be able to leave her. But my only future dream is one of independence, since I never have been. I'm afraid of it being too lonely ( though I might love it!). The communal home sounds kinda nice.

[Wallflowerbaby13]

My only life goal/s is to stop being a complete loser. Sure the world says you can be anything you want to be. Well right now I'd like to be the human equivalent of a house cat. I want to be fed and taken care of, but with limitless internet access. I am an adult, but I still don't have a drivers license (I just have a huge aversion to learning how and public transport isn't great here), I never went to college, I live with my mother, I've never had a full time job ( though I just applied for one). I am completely dependent and don't think I could ever make it on my own. I joke that my existence is purely to make others feel better about themselves. I have only recently learned about Asexuality and believe I am aro/ace. So probably no romance to look forward to or a wedding(they always seem so glamorous and like a right of passage). I just feel extremely childish. I never wanted to grow up. Since the age of 8 I would wish that I wouldn't get any older, and now that I am,I still don't know what to do with myself. Life feels pretty overwhelming and pointless. Like I am continuously screaming on the inside, but can't make a sound.

[detovar]

I'm also an aro-ace! I just wanna keep going to school, to be honest. My mom eventually wants me to settle down and get married, but I don't want to. She knows I'm asexual but she doesn't know that I am aromantic and I know she won't get it. I can just see myself living in an apartment with my dogs (HEAVEN FOR ME). I can't wait to get my career going and I think I will be very happy. I am just mainly focused on my education so that's my plan ^_^

[BookTVLover]

I want to complete my degrees and start my career. I'd like to buy a house. I'd consider marriage if a guy was asexual or understanding of my asexuality.

[SpiffyParadox]

I definitely want to get a stable job, own my own house and vehicle. Though, I don't see myself living with another person. I mean, I would love to have a best friend live with me or someone I love and consider a partner in a platonic way (hard for me to describe) but ahahaha I don't see that happening.

SO, it'll most likely just be me and the handful of animals i'd love to have and baby/spoil the crap out of xD

[HanaJanina]

I want to contribute to the world as much as I have the spirit to (I'm going to start volunteering this week!) A silly dream would be to eventually have a job at Amnesty or FN or something like that XD But honestly- it doesn't matter if your not an important person with a position, what little you can do still counts.

I want to travel, get different experiences in life and learn from them, and still having the time to draw!

When I'm mature enough and have a stable job, and I've been doing most pf the travel I want to do, I think I'll adopt a child. It's always been a dream of mine to adopt- I'm just worried since i know it can be hard for singles to do that :'(

I have a close friend but I'm starting to sense a distance in our relationship so I want to try and make more friends and maybe find a QP in the future (Though I still kind of wish I could fall in love with someone and have a normal relationship) My friends talked about us all living together when we're old and that would be pretty nice~

[The_Halfmoon]

wanna draw and write as much as possible before I kick the bucket

[Kuebiko]

I am relationship-repulsed. I don't think there's a word for it, lol, but i've got both commitment issues and trust issues. Relationships involve both trust and commitment. Oh dear, now isn't that a problem?

I haven't a clear idea of what I'm going to do, but it's going to involve science, earning lots of money, video games and alone time.

Also I'm never going to have kids. Commitment issues aside, it's bad enough that smol children running around are going to ruin my life, I refuse to be responsible for ruining theirs too.

[Skycaptain]

I'm to settled to expect to change much from what I'm doing now.

I still cling to the hope of finding a better than just a best friend partner, but I can't see it really happening.

Other than that just work, have fun, hopefully outlive my parents.

If the business makes enough to retire on fine, but no point being unrealistic

[jenjenna]

I'm a 24-year-old aro ace, and only recently I realized that my life will be a little bit different than most people's. In most people's life plans romantic and sexual relationhips play usually a huge part. I will have none of that. At first, I felt a little empty. So, what do I do with my life?

But then I realized: I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT! And it's kinda scary - like an endless ocean spreading in front of you - but oh, so exciting! I definitely want to write. For my own enjoyment or for others to read too, that remains to be seen. I want to travel. (Right now traveling alone scares me a little, but I hope I'll get braver in time, or find a like-minded friend who'd also want to travel!) I want to help people, do good deeds. I want to make friends, hear people's stories. I want to explore myself and my spirituality. Meditate. Read. Take care of animals. Live healthy. Study all kinds of stuff that interest me (and there's a lot!). Stuff like that. ^_^

[Toothlesss]

I'm a 24-year-old aro ace, and only recently I realized that my life will be a little bit different than most people's. In most people's life plans romantic and sexual relationhips play usually a huge part. I will have none of that. At first, I felt a little empty. So, what do I do with my life?

But then I realized: I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT! And it's kinda scary - like an endless ocean spreading in front of you - but oh, so exciting! I definitely want to write. For my own enjoyment or for others to read too, that remains to be seen. I want to travel. (Right now traveling alone scares me a little, but I hope I'll get braver in time, or find a like-minded friend who'd also want to travel!) I want to help people, do good deeds. I want to make friends, hear people's stories. I want to explore myself and my spirituality. Meditate. Read. Take care of animals. Live healthy. Study all kinds of stuff that interest me (and there's a lot!). Stuff like that. ^_^

Same. I want to dedicate my time to writing and self-publishing a series of novels.

Travel- The same thing. Travelling alone, I really fear the jerks of the world. :(

Seriously- this reads almost as if I wrote it. :)

[tarutaru]

Still trying to puzzle my life out. I figured out I was ace and aromantic about three years ago. I'm 30 and live with some friends who, like me, have never had a relationship. While I'd prefer to live alone, right now I gotta just buckle down and try to make some money. The idea of supporting someone else or adding kids to the mix sounds exhausting, I can barely take care of myself :P It's been somewhat of a relief, but also somewhat sad as I'd still would like kids but don't know how that would happen without establishing a sexual/romantic relationship which I'm not really up for. Mixed feelings I guess.

[.diva plavalaguna.]

Decided to revisit :P Biggest plan now is to figure out some way to support myself (comfortably would be nice) without needing to sacrifice my mental and physical health, or vast spans of my personal time. After that....anything. I have a few ideas for business ventures and kind of see that as an exciting life, doing startups and such things. It'd be nice to travel and eat and see the world. And I'd love to have a beautiful home to come to, tucked away from all the craziness of humans but not so far away that I can't get a decent internet connection. I haven't imagined a partner in any of that, and it almost feels like they'd get in the way... definitely no spawn. I'm even having second thoughts about "marriage." Even the word is making me ill.

[dreamfae]

I'd still would like kids but don't know how that would happen without establishing a sexual/romantic relationship which I'm not really up for.

Have you thought about adopting as a single parent if you find yourself in a position where adding kids to your life seems feasible?

[Amedot]

So fellow aro-aces, what do your future life plans look like? What do you want in life, and where do you want to end up?

Do you (or do you think you will ever) hope to get married and/or have a family?

I might get married for tax benefits, and I already have a family :)

I want a successful career I love, and to be able to dedicate a large portion of my energy to animal rescue (specifically reptiles). I also want to give my pets a better life. I'm pretty much living the dream right now, living with my QPP with our dog, two cats, 11 reptiles, and fishtank, but I wanna go back to school and get a better paying job in the vet med industry, and my gf wants a career in art. So our longterm goals are career oriented! We also want a bunch of dogs in the future, and I'd love a giant species of snake if I can get my permit. We'd love to be homeowners one day.

[Yinlotus93]

Pretty much since I was a little girl, I never had any honest interest in finding a husband and settling down. (I would only add 'and a husband' to those little thoughts because I was taught by society that's the only way to get kids.) After i found out about the wonderful science of artificial insemination, I dropped entirely the interest in finding a significant other and basically dreamed of single mothering by choice.

I currently have decided that even though I'm still rather set to do that, if at some point a guy does come along, shows all the right personality traits, is patient, understanding about my lack of sexual interest, and respectful, I could be willing to change my plans and have a family with someone. But only in the case that I am sure there is an established mutual love and respect. As of now though I have my eyes on the prize and all I am thinking about is my education and getting a steady career set up. Either way, I know I will become a mom, and in the mean I'll be taking full advantage of my single freedom to live out my own dreams, travel, and work hard to become the best me I can.