I feel very uncomfortable talking and thinking about my sexuality

[Binary Star]

Which is not helping me to figure it out.

AVEN is really helping me because everyone is super accepting and talks about stuff but never crudely. ^ ^

But I still struggle a little because I think of it as something private and I feel bad talking about my relationship on a public forum.

I guess I am trying to shed a lot of guilt and uncomfortableness surrounding discussing sexual stuff and also trying to change how I see it to be more as an expression of love. I feel very confused on the subject and in trying to figure myself out I seem to be confusing myself even further...

One thing I find kind of shocking for example is that most people on here say that people normally assume a relationship will eventually lead to sex. While I appreciate this to an extent, I certainly haven't gone into relationships thinking that's what the other person has assumed.

Maybe I am naïve or old fashioned or something but I just wanted to know if other people feel the same way? About any or all the things I've said. :)

[MissLunarWolf]

People in my workplace talk about sex and stuff like that all the time needless to say, I feel very uncomfortable when they do.

I think an online forum will be a lot safer because worst case scenario, you log off and never talk to these lovely people gain ;) . But everyone's accepting of all sorts of stuff here. There's a lot of useful information here that you can use to learn a lot more about yourself.

I'm totally guilty of thinking that most (not all ;)) men are expecting (or at least hoping for) sex in a relationship, at some point in time. But that's only because of past personal experiences <_<... but (to quote the Matrix) ignorance, is bliss. ^_^

[Gotsu]

One thing I find kind of shocking for example is that most people on here say that people normally assume a relationship will eventually lead to sex.

Why not? I mean, is true that you may want to be in a relationship for various reasons, but having sex with your partner is just the natural progression of a relationship. Otherwise, people would never have children.

I think that we (asexuals) tend to forget that sex is a very normal activity in the daily life of people. Is just "normal", sex is a thing. That's why we are a minority, for us is weird and hard to understand but for most people is as casual as having a toast in the morning.

[MissLunarWolf]

One thing I find kind of shocking for example is that most people on here say that people normally assume a relationship will eventually lead to sex.

Why not? I mean, is true that you may want to be in a relationship for various reasons, but having sex with your partner is just the natural progression of a relationship. Otherwise, people would never have children.

I think that we (asexuals) tend to forget that sex is a very normal activity in the daily life of people. Is just "normal", sex is a thing. That's why we are a minority, for us is weird and hard to understand but for most people is as casual as having toast in the morning.

Only if you're an Allosexual ;) (... which almost everyone is <_<)

[Star Bit]

(Allosexual is what we call sexual people.)

[SkyWorld]

One thing I find kind of shocking for example is that most people on here say that people normally assume a relationship will eventually lead to sex.

Why not? I mean, is true that you may want to be in a relationship for various reasons, but having sex with your partner is just the natural progression of a relationship. Otherwise, people would never have children.

I think that we (asexuals) tend to forget that sex is a very normal activity in the daily life of people. Is just "normal", sex is a thing. That's why we are a minority, for us is weird and hard to understand but for most people is as casual as having a toast in the morning.

Personally, I try to stay away from the word "normal" as it's overrated and it doesn't seem like an individual thing. I feel like "more common" would be more comfortable. Yeah, I get that sex is a thing, some people like sex and some even have it regularly... whatever. I still don't like sex and I certainly wouldn't want to have it, just not my cup of tea. For people (in general) to consider not wanting sex in a relationship to be "abnormal" just doesn't sit well for me, honestly, and just prefer the word "uncommon".

And about relationships... there is (usually) a lot more expectations for relationships than just sex that is considered "more common". Like... dates every so often or romantic gestures (not all relationships, of course), etc. etc. Just that, people are different and enjoy/expect different things, and that's great for them! Still not my cup of tea. :lol:

[Gotsu]

Yeah, that's why I said "normal" instead of normal. I think is the typical situation when 2 differents groups face each other and they can't understant each other. I bit of bad luck for us to be in the smaller one. I never really enjoyed to be taged as "uncommon" or "different" just for having a different way of thinking.

[Unlabeled]

Which is not helping me to figure it out.

AVEN is really helping me because everyone is super accepting and talks about stuff but never crudely. ^ ^

But I still struggle a little because I think of it as something private and I feel bad talking about my relationship on a public forum.

I guess I am trying to shed a lot of guilt and uncomfortableness surrounding discussing sexual stuff and also trying to change how I see it to be more as an expression of love. I feel very confused on the subject and in trying to figure myself out I seem to be confusing myself even further...

One thing I find kind of shocking for example is that most people on here say that people normally assume a relationship will eventually lead to sex. While I appreciate this to an extent, I certainly haven't gone into relationships thinking that's what the other person has assumed.

Maybe I am naïve or old fashioned or something but I just wanted to know if other people feel the same way? About any or all the things I've said. :)

If it helps, remind yourself when you feel this ill-at-ease about this stuff that how you feel is the result of how you were trained and conditioned to think about it. Parents and family, friends, teachers, and other peers all made you think about this and everything else in certain ways. And even once we understand why we think the ways we do, overcoming it for healthier ways is still very difficult. But as with everything else, it's a process and takes time.

[SkyWorld]

Moving thread to Asexual Relationships.

SkyWorld

Asexual Q&A Co-Mod