tawnywings Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Right now I'm going with the possible labels of panromantic or homoromantic, heterosexual, and gray-ace. I say possible, because I feel my orientation(s) haven't *settled* yet (think of a needle bouncing back and forth). However, I've always had a feeling super deep down that maybe I'm just plain gay and can't admit it :P And so I shove it down below all these labels... I'm going on a semester abroad very shortly, and since I'll be in a place where no one knows who I am, should I try living as if I was gay? Introduce myself as such? Play the part? Experiment? Honestly, I'm at odds with the idea of experimentation because of the potential to hurt those I experiment with. Plus, there's the whole gray-ace thing, where physical intimacy is just kinda "eeughhh" to me. And as I'll be living in a college dorm, there's gonna be lots of humpin' happenin' :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Losange Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I think you shouldn't force yourself, it could hurt more than help. However, there's nothing wrong with experimenting, only keep in mind that if anything feel uncomfortable, you don't have to carry on and should stop. I don't think you should tell people you're gay, you could tell you're not sure of your orientation at the moment, be honest with possible partners because it wouldn't be fair to them. Hope I could help. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tawnywings Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 I think you shouldn't force yourself, it could hurt more than help. However, there's nothing wrong with experimenting, only keep in mind that if anything feel uncomfortable, you don't have to carry on and should stop. I don't think you should tell people you're gay, you could tell you're not sure of your orientation at the moment, be honest with possible partners because it wouldn't be fair to them. Hope I could help. :) Good points. Although of course I'd be totally transparent if I found a partner. I just thought identifying as gay or at least queer (which may be more accurate since it's general) would help me find a partner. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
whocaresthough Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 I guess it depends on the people there and if they want to keep in touch afterwards. I think that you should totally go for it, but I think if you're going to get it a relationship, tell them that you don't want a long relationship and that you think you're this way, but also questioning. That's how I'd present myself if I were going to experiment. Good luck! :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Someone Else Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Not knowing about asexuality, but just knowing for most of my life that _something_ seemed wrong about relationships, I tended to withdraw from people who seemed interested in me. In retrospect I wish I'd experimented more... it's not like the moment I kiss someone I'm married and legally bound to them forever. ;) When I was younger, I sort of wish I'd even just tried "kissing buddies," even if in the end it ended up not being long term, it would have probably been an experience worth having. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CTS Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 I guess this is really up to you and how comfortable you are. I've experimented before and while it was nice to feel close to someone, I definitely didn't get anything out of it sexually. I don't have any regrets about it though, if anything, it kind of confirmed to me what I knew all along - that I was asexual. But again, don't force yourself to do anything out of your comfort level if you're gonna do something like this! And it does have the potential to complicate things (someone I experimented with had very strong feelings for me that I didn't realize at the time....that was an experience lol), but again, this is all up to you. Good luck out there! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tawnywings Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 Thanks for the words of wisdom, guys! The last few days I've grudgingly theorized that I might be a homoromantic heterosexual...which poses quite the pickle I'm a relatively transparent, tell-it-as-it-is, no-BS person, so of course up front I'll be honest about what I [think I] am. Thing is, even though I'm in my early 20s, I've never ever so much as held hands with someone in a romantic context. This isn't because of any mental or emotional issues—I have quite a few friends, I've had landed good jobs, and I can function fine in social situations—I've just never really focussed on the sexual/romantic/relationshippy part of myself. That's why I want to experiment at least with something. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
thekittyhawk Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I know exactly what you mean- I'm ace but think I want to experiment with relationships, simply because I'm hesitant to label myself aro if I haven't at least tried it. I think, if it's something you will be comfortable with, you should experiment just so you can find out exactly how you feel about sex and relationships. Just my opinion, don't take it as law!! Do what makes you happy, and good luck! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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