Confused. Finally feeling not alone.

[Confused1991]

My entire life I have never understood sexual attraction. I have liked and loved people as a friend and then have dated them because it feels like that's the next step. I don't have sexual urges but I participate in sex with my partners because I love them and I don't want them to feel rejected. I get nothing out of sex, even the physical act of a penis going into my vagina feels pointless. The only time I enjoy sex is when I have smoked pot first. Growing up I thought I just needed to find the right person and it would ignite. I always felt like a freak because I don't look at people and see them as sexual beings. Even if I love someone I don't feel attracted to their bodies or want to have sex with them.

I do love the people I date but I feel so bad that I don't have the normal feelings. I feel like I'm hiding from them and lying because I pretend that I do and I tell them that I feel the sexual feelings but I don't. I have only very recently started looking into this because I was starting to feel really alone. I feel so much better reading that other people are in this situation. A lot less alone. Should I just accept this inside or do I have a duty to tell my partner. It's pretty serious, I love him and we live together but sexually I just feel like an awful liar.

[Archon]

You're definitely not alone. I'm sure a lot of people here can relate to your story.

You should be honest to your partner. I know you love him but you have to take care of yourself too. And if he cares about you then he would want you to be honest about it, right? I wish you all the best whatever you decide to do.

Welcome to AVEN!

[Star Bit]

Guilt can eat away at you and ruin a relationship. Being yourself should be what a relationship is about.