Jump to content

Would you change being ace?


just an owl

Recommended Posts

The littlest Deer Rat

No. Most guys that hit on me are kinda meh and I don't really feel like I'm missing out on much. I wouldn't worry so much about dying alone because you're ace. I'm sure a lot of people in relationships wind up dying alone anyway.

Link to post
Share on other sites

No. I love being ace and not being weighed down by stuff like sexual frustration.

Link to post
Share on other sites
TheLeafBunny

Honestly, I wouldn't change being ace for the world. Sure, it's difficult sometimes because there are some parts of relationships and marriage (mostly marriage) that are expected of me from most anyone I could be with that I wouldn't be comfortable carrying out, yet because I'm romantic I still want the emotional intimacy (and some non-sexual physical intimacy) that is derived from those kinds of relationships. But I know that God made me this way for a reason. And who am I to question His plan?

However, if there is anything I would change, it'd be my libido. It's just the weirdest and most oxymoronic thing about me, I feel, that I'm asexual and yet I still have biological urges for sexual contact sometimes... But I've never looked at anybody with any pressing desire for that kind of thing, and I personally find sex weird/gross to boot? It's just... Again, I know God made me this way for a reason. Maybe the libido would be of help if I do end up in a mixed-orientation marriage someday, as is likely because there probably aren't many openly ace heteroromantic/biromantic guys with whom I'd be compatible in other aspects as well. Or maybe I'll get into a relationship and it'll turn out I'm demisexual and THAT's what my libido is for. But right now from my current understanding of my orientation it's just weird, and uncomfortable. Like, would it spoil some eternal plan if I were non-libidoist as well as asexual?

Link to post
Share on other sites
StygianSoul

Honestly, as proud as I am, if you found me on one of my "bad days," I'd probably answer yes to that question.

It can be easy to work yourself into a frenzy: "I wish I was 'normal' because this, this, and that. I wish I didn't identify as this because everyone would accept me as that." Sometimes it's difficult to really sit back and say, "Yes, this is me, and I am happy."

But that's kinda why I have an AVEN account. When I get like that, I can come on here and say, "Yeah, I'm not alone. It's all good," and then it is, or, at least, it will be later.

When I'm *myself*, and not depressed over nonsense, then I can confidently say that I would not become sexual for anything, even if it is an uphill climb sometimes.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Artistofnoname

No way I like being different and in a very small minority. Plus I don't have any distractions by the need to seek a mate. I wouldn't change being an aromantic asexual for nothing.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I love being asexual! It's actually one of my favorite qualities.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

Quite honestly, I wouldn't change being ace, simply because I wouldn't want sex anyway. Sex just seems disgusting and full of germs and complicated and awkward in everywhere but fiction and to actually WANT would just be weird to me, ace or not.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I find this so interesting, because it seems like most people say no and my answer would probably be a yes. I kind of hate to admit that. I am new(ish) to my asexuality (I've only been identifying as so for a year, I was toying with the idea of grey-a for a while before) and maybe that makes a difference, but I feel like within this society which so emphasises a nuclear family it's really hard to be an alternative to that. I'm becoming more and more proud of my asexuality as the days go by but if I had the option not to deal with the thoughts/feelings and the reactions I get from others that I have experienced, I'm fairly confident that I would take that option.
I think maybe my libido has a part to play in this, it's pretty high and I think I'd feel better about that if I were sexual because at the minute it feels like a contradiction in my identity (it's not, but it does feel that way to me) and it would be simpler if I were sexual.

Ah well, it's all fine though. I'm not unhappy with being ace, I think I'm still just adjusting. :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

No, I wouldn't change it. I am the way that I am, and I've always been happy this way; I doubt that I would be as happy if I weren't asexual, really. From what I can determine from my non-asexual friends, dealing with relationships and dates or finding people to have sex with is a whole can of worms that I'm actually rather happy that I have no inclination to open. It mostly sounds annoying. (Part of that is my also being aromantic, I'm sure, which I also wouldn't change.) Plus, none of it sounds like anything that I would want to want anyhow, and this way I have much more time for all the times that I am interested in. It's pretty much all positive to me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I wouldn't change, I like myself being the way I am. I wouldn't be me to if I wasn't asexual.

Link to post
Share on other sites

What about the opposite? I'm tired of having sexual urges, a libido, sexual attraction, etc because sex is repulsive to me. If I could change my orientation I'd choose to be fully aro ace.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Nope, not for a second. The only thing I would have liked is to avoid discovering the term at the age of 46.

And no, I won't have to buy viagra like so many others in a couple of years as I don't need viagra to pee. Silly allos.

Link to post
Share on other sites

No way! neverrr! I LOVE it so much. I'm so proud to be Ace. <3 Asexuality is a gift IMO. Makes me more like ME, makes me different from all the other people, I'm so happy to be a myself, a unique thing in this big world. (:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, I would change it. Rather, what I would change would be my idea of what other people were feeling. I used to believe that my current dating partner would lose interest in sex after a few times, that I would only have to "endure" it occasionally and then we could both move on and...I don't know, develop together intellectually or something. But now that I know I am asexual, and not everyone sees sex as a chore, I cannot enter a relationship with a clean conscience. I know that I will be depriving that person both the healthy expression of their sexuality and the feeling of being able to make someone else sexually happy.

I am also angry that I can't relate to my friends. I would get irritated that they were talking about sex so much, thinking "if we all know it's not that great, why do we have to keep talking about it.." Oh. They DO think it's that great. At my age, people are really enjoying sexually exploring the world and they want to talk about it. And it's a point of disconnect for me.

Mainly, I would change it because I know how much harder it will make relationships, and I really don't want to be alone.

Sorry about the rant. I get frustrated when I think about this.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers

Being aro ace is perfection! No change necessary.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I wouldn't change being Ace. What I would change, is how sex makes me feel. It's uncomfortable, painful, and makes me feel dirty. If I could enjoy sex, it would be a lot nicer.

Link to post
Share on other sites

YES! I would change.

Not because I think being sexual is all that, but because it would be one less weird thing about to worry about. I would no longer have the constant fear when meeting a guy who likes that he'll turn around once he knows or even if he doesn't the fear that I'm not enough for him but he's being sweet and hiding it.

As it is, that won't happen.

Link to post
Share on other sites

No. While there would be some obvious upsides to not being ace (not having to worry about finding someone who's willing to have a romantic relationship without having sex, for example), I wouldn't want to change, because I can imagine sexual attraction would be kind of annoying, and I'm sex-repulsed of being in a sexual situation, let alone wanting it to happen, digusts me (I expect I would feel differently if I wasn't ace, but I just can't imagine that happening).

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...