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Questioning sexuality: Am I still AroAce or am I something else now?


anotherjessica

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anotherjessica

Hello.

I'm a little confused about something and I would like some feedback.

I came out as an asexual aromantic to my family and friends on the very first day of Asexual Awareness Week 2015. I'm a virgin, never kissed or dated anyone (but do masturbate almost daily) and not bothered about any of that. However in the last month or so I've been having these scenarios where I was in a relationship with other women (I'm a female) and also having sex.. It's like I'm missing the concept of having a relationship due to reading manga and books where the characters have relationships (good and bad) and I'm a little envious of it.

(A dream I had where I was making out with my brother's girlfriend(????) through a sheet was really good. It happened last year/beginning of this year. Probably has influenced something in me as well.)

If there was a female that wanted to date me and I liked her/had similar interests etc., then I'd be on board with being in a relationship with her and would probably be fine with having sex with her (after getting past being insecure about my body). So what would I be? I know I shouldn't care about labels, but it's bothering me.

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Confusion 0

If you have no sexual attractions, but still desire sex, I think that simply makes you a sex-favorable asexual. I'm not an expert, it's just an idea.

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Hello.

I'm a little confused about something and I would like some feedback.

I came out as an asexual aromantic to my family and friends on the very first day of Asexual Awareness Week 2015. I'm a virgin, never kissed or dated anyone (but do masturbate almost daily) and not bothered about any of that. However in the last month or so I've been having these scenarios where I was in a relationship with other women (I'm a female) and also having sex.. It's like I'm missing the concept of having a relationship due to reading manga and books where the characters have relationships (good and bad) and I'm a little envious of it.

(A dream I had where I was making out with my brother's girlfriend(????) through a sheet was really good. It happened last year/beginning of this year. Probably has influenced something in me as well.)

If there was a female that wanted to date me and I liked her/had similar interests etc., then I'd be on board with being in a relationship with her and would probably be fine with having sex with her (after getting past being insecure about my body). So what would I be? I know I shouldn't care about labels, but it's bothering me.

Only label I ever liked was 'questioning.' What a great term, defines pretty much everyone instead of assigning people into neatly packaged little boxes.

Figuring out who and what we are is a lifelong process. And how you come to think of yourself changes over time. Some things become set and fixed, but attraction is more of a spectrum and slider that moves constantly. Perhaps instead of caring about the label you're more concerned with having told your parents you're this thing, but not no so sure and worrying you lied or misled your parents? You basicly told them you're this one thing, but now that you're questioning worrying that you no longer conform to the thing and might be some other thing.

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  • 5 weeks later...

I believe you may still be an AroAce but maybe falling elsewhere on the spectrum. As Confusion0 said there is a difference between desire and attraction. Actually a lot of labels lay on this difference that changes everything.

There are, I think, some labels referring to the desire only. You may want to check the pinned topic on the welcoming page of the forum for further information :)

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scarletlatitude

If you desire sex, you may be some kind of gray-asexual. Gray-aces fall in between the black and white of asexual and sexual. I consider myself gray-asexual because I am basically asexual, but if I had the right partner in the right moment, I may consider sex. My desire is overall very low though, and I do masturbate as well.

As for your romantic orientation, you can also be somewhere in between. You don't have to be aromantic or romantic. There is a middle gray area there as well.

I've got some links in my signature that might be helpful for you to read. ;)

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