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Is it strange that I am Aromantic, Asensual, and Hetrosexual?


Eyeofthestorm1

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Eyeofthestorm1

Hi guys my name is Ashley, I am quite young, but I know that romantically I am not normal.

The idea of devoting myself romantically to someone makes me feel sick. I just can't imagine myself forming that deep of a bond with someone. I also don't feel the lovey emotions that most talk about. I am very emotionally disconnected and have only made maybe 2 deep connections in my life. I'm just not a social butterfly and I am a loner. I love the idea of me working as a Toxicologist though.

Physical contact also grosses me out, if somebody tries to cuddle me I cringe. If they try to cuddle me while I am sleeping they will be punched. It's like if somebody even touches me I can feel that spot where I have been touched for the next half hour. I don't like it. Hugs also make me want to cringe. It's all so gross.

But... I don't find sex gross at all. I almost feel like I look forward to when that day comes because it is such a natural thing for our species. I don't find too many people this attractive, but there has been times when I have seen a person and thought that I would like to bang them. I have only felt this attraction toward the opposite sex. After banging them I have no problem with never seeing them again or even being friends with benefits.

I have had my fair amount of sqiushes. There have been people I have felt like I really admire and want to know on a deeper level, but I just don't feel those nervous jitters, butterflies in the stomach, or a desire to be in a romantic relationship.

I am so new to this, but to my knowledge as of now I think I am Aromantic, Hetrosexual, and Asensual.

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It's not strange at all. All types of people exist. I'm sure you're not the only aromantic, asensual, and heterosexual person out there.

Welcome to AVEN!! :cake:

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Elluna Hellen

Technically I guess it's 'strange' in that it's probably pretty rare. But I don't think you're alone. It also does not mean anything is wrong with you. So is it *really* strange? Nah. You're fine. All types of people exist, and none of these is any weirder than the other. :)

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Knight of Cydonia

It's not strange at all. Also, as you said you are young, I wouldn't be surprised if it changes over time.

When I was younger (like over grade school and high school), I did NOT like physical contact; whenever someone, say, touched my arm, even just briefly, I'd have this really uncomfortable feeling for the next while where they'd touched me. Same could be said about hugs, back rubs, hands on the shoulder, you name it, even from close friends or family members.

I think it was connected to me being very, very shy, and at that time I had established very few emotional connections; my biggest one was with my brother, and I didn't have friends over high school that I related to or felt completely at ease with/connected to. I would walk the halls of my high school every lunch just to make it look like I had something to do and people to see. As I got older - this was into university now - the change in scene from high school and being in a program with more like-minded people helped; I started meeting people that I actually connected with it, had the same interests as, could trust, etc. It got a lot easier and I was able to start opening up. As I became less shy I also started to not feel as uncomfortable about physical contact.

I guess what I'm saying is, don't discount anything yet. You have a lot of life ahead of you, and maybe if you find your "tribe" you won't be so uncomfortable. Things can change. I know they did for me.

Lastly, just pointing out that you don't need to have "nervous jitters" and "butterflies in the stomach" to say you've felt romantic feelings towards someone; everyone experiences romantic attraction differently.

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I do find the combo of asensual and any sexual orientation other than ace pretty odd... because I see sexuality as a subset of sensuality. I don't quite get how you think you could ever put up with having sex if physical contact grosses you out in general? :huh:

Aromantic works just fine with both asensual and heterosexual, though. Thank goodness you don't need romance for sex!

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I wonder... Is there a way to have sex without even touching the other person? I'd agree with most people when they say that "its as close as you can get to someone"--like, under their skin, you know... Would you not hold onto them, or look at them? I wonder what you imagine this sex to be like, especially what person it would be with..because many people are into touching their person. Im not saying that you cannot be grossed out by one thing that normally comes before something you're not grossed out by, but I'm confused. Perhaps you've combined aspects of romance with sensuality ? But either way, confusing or not, the combinations are endless and you're not anymore strange than I am or the person above me.

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Hi guys my name is Ashley, I am quite young, but I know that romantically I am not normal.

The idea of devoting myself romantically to someone makes me feel sick. I just can't imagine myself forming that deep of a bond with someone. I also don't feel the lovey emotions that most talk about. I am very emotionally disconnected and have only made maybe 2 deep connections in my life. I'm just not a social butterfly and I am a loner. I love the idea of me working as a Toxicologist though.

Physical contact also grosses me out, if somebody tries to cuddle me I cringe. If they try to cuddle me while I am sleeping they will be punched. It's like if somebody even touches me I can feel that spot where I have been touched for the next half hour. I don't like it. Hugs also make me want to cringe. It's all so gross.

But... I don't find sex gross at all. I almost feel like I look forward to when that day comes because it is such a natural thing for our species. I don't find too many people this attractive, but there has been times when I have seen a person and thought that I would like to bang them. I have only felt this attraction toward the opposite sex. After banging them I have no problem with never seeing them again or even being friends with benefits.

I have had my fair amount of sqiushes. There have been people I have felt like I really admire and want to know on a deeper level, but I just don't feel those nervous jitters, butterflies in the stomach, or a desire to be in a romantic relationship.

I am so new to this, but to my knowledge as of now I think I am Aromantic, Hetrosexual, and Asensual.

You are totally normal. Probably rare, but normal.

That said, being hetersexual and asensual do seem to be small disparities. I'm unsure how the being grossed out by touch and having sex would work out?

But you seem comfortable with yourself and you know yourself, so be happy and know you're not strange at all!

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Eyeofthestorm1

The strong dislike I have for physical contact might fade away. I relate a lot to Knight because I do not have many close friends in my school and I have severe trust problems, along with anxiety. I will be receiving help for this later this week.

Still the idea of romance just makes me want to hurl. I have a lot of trouble even holding friendships with others because I am just emotionally out of it which makes others think I am apathetic. I just want to focus on furthering my education and my future career. I don't think this will change.

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The strong dislike I have for physical contact might fade away. I relate a lot to Knight because I do not have many close friends in my school and I have severe trust problems, along with anxiety. I will be receiving help for this later this week.

Still the idea of romance just makes me want to hurl. I have a lot of trouble even holding friendships with others because I am just emotionally out of it which makes others think I am apathetic. I just want to focus on furthering my education and my future career. I don't think this will change.

Take on labels, or don't take them on if you don't want to, as you see fit. If you feel they describe you then you can use them. As for your romantic orientation, maybe you could look into romance-repulsed? That seems like a possibility.

Welcome to Aven!

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Hi guys my name is Ashley, I am quite young, but I know that romantically I am not normal.

The idea of devoting myself romantically to someone makes me feel sick. I just can't imagine myself forming that deep of a bond with someone. I also don't feel the lovey emotions that most talk about. I am very emotionally disconnected and have only made maybe 2 deep connections in my life. I'm just not a social butterfly and I am a loner. I love the idea of me working as a Toxicologist though.

Physical contact also grosses me out, if somebody tries to cuddle me I cringe. If they try to cuddle me while I am sleeping they will be punched. It's like if somebody even touches me I can feel that spot where I have been touched for the next half hour. I don't like it. Hugs also make me want to cringe. It's all so gross.

But... I don't find sex gross at all. I almost feel like I look forward to when that day comes because it is such a natural thing for our species. I don't find too many people this attractive, but there has been times when I have seen a person and thought that I would like to bang them. I have only felt this attraction toward the opposite sex. After banging them I have no problem with never seeing them again or even being friends with benefits.

I have had my fair amount of sqiushes. There have been people I have felt like I really admire and want to know on a deeper level, but I just don't feel those nervous jitters, butterflies in the stomach, or a desire to be in a romantic relationship.

I am so new to this, but to my knowledge as of now I think I am Aromantic, Hetrosexual, and Asensual.

Could simply be you're very analytical and regard sex more as a biological reality or necessity but absent all the hearts and flowers the greeting card industry has made it into. :) Like the actual neuroscientist who plays basicly herself on "The Big Bang Theory" "Amy Farrah Fowler."

When you feel that need you satisfy it. Then you move on with other things. I'm the same way but minus the actual partner-sex satisfying my need on my own.

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I would say you are romance-repulsed and touch-adverse too from what you described.

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As others have said, your particular combination of orientations is a bit rare, but that doesn't make it strange. Just because orientations usually match up doesn't mean they always do, and being aromantic, asensual, and heterosexual at the same time is totally normal. :)

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Mundane Mesh

strange

adjective
1. unusual or surprising; difficult to understand or explain.
slightly or undefinably unwell or ill at ease.
2. not previously visited, seen, or encountered; unfamiliar or alien.
unaccustomed to or unfamiliar with.

Whether it's strange or not is subjective and a matter of which definition you use. However, it's definitely rare (as people have been pointing out) but it's not impossible. There are many unusual combinations out there, but they exist nonetheless.

I would say that it isn't stranger than any other combination of labels. You don't need to worry about it anyway. Even if it was "strange", that doesn't mean that it's bad. It doesn't have to be a problem unless you experience it as such.

Thank you for sharing your experiences!

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SwirlyKitten

I don't really get the connection between romance and sex. I think you're normal.

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