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Coming out to family?


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I've been thinking about telling my family about my orientation for a while, I've told a few friends and my dad about it and they accept me, but I would like to tell the rest of my family. How should I approach it? Should I tell them all individually or maybe just make a facebook post? I've heard stories about how people just don't understand it, is there anything I should mention aside from the usual 'no sexual attraction' speech? I don't know how to go about this so, any advice? :unsure:

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Well, I just came out to my oldest brother last night, and it wasn't easy! But it worked out. I've only come out to him and one IRL friend, and I sort of came out to my mom, but that didn't really work. Anyway, my advice (of course it's different for everyone) is to address them individually in a way that you think they'll understand best. For my friend, I tend to be pretty straightforward, blunt, and humorous with her, so my coming out went along those lines. After she asked me what I've been up to, I literally just said, "Well, I'm asexual!" Lol. And explained it casually. With my brother, I took another route that still incorporated some humor but also related to him with our experiences. We like to send each other funny memes and gifs, so I got an ace one to show him lol.

Regardless, there's always going to be nerves...so don't push yourself. Only come out when you feel ready. : ) There's a lot of advice on how to come out and when, or even if you should. It's all up to you. Best wishes!

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I came out to my mom two months ago or so, and as kelico said, it wasn't easy. And mainly, try to find a way that it sound natural, because sometimes siting everyone in a table and starting "i have to told you something" i don't think is the very best way to do it ;) And yes, i think trying to find how they will understand best is the best way. For example we had a dinner, and my mother told that being in a relationship was a choice rather than because being in love, so when she told that, i thought that maybe i could tell her. And i didn't really chose when i did it, it just came out. My little sister was talking about her boyfriend, and we started (the three of us) to talk about love, because my mother asked her whether she loved him or not, or if she liked him and all that. So i started talking how for everyone is not the same, and as we sometimes are excpected to love someone, or anyone, when we actually we didn't had those feelings. And after an hour of two of talking about it without mentioning, for example i talked first about homosexuality like, for trying to see how she reacted to it. I mean, the conversation was merely hypothetical, we weren't actually talking to ourselft, until the end, i messed up a little bit with something aprt to that (because she thought that i was coming out as homosexual as the end xd) and i finally told her. The hardest part was trying to make her understand. Because she thought i had a problem, you know, sometimes the absence of libido can be a sign of an illness and taken into account my conditions it could be related to it, so that when i finlally explained to her, that my body was functioning correctly (saying that my phsyquiatrist was fine, and accepted my asexuality as valid had a huge impact too), and i told her about my struggles with it in the past years, and how this, had me happier because i could finally accept myyself, she told me that it was ok, that i could be whatever i wanted if that was my case.

She said everything that shouldn't be said, the "it's a phase", "you'll find someone", "you never now", "maybe is too early", "you don't like sex" (for some this applies i know), "you have problems (i.e. health problems/mental and so on)". And with this, my advice is that while trying to understand they can mess up, and say things they shouldn't, So my advice is being understanding too. I know not all people are accepting, but there are some people that for being accepting need to understand first, and trying to understand something that opposes to everything that had been thought before, can be hard, and difficult for making sense of it. So accept mistakes although if they hurt, and try to explain them, and tell them why what has been said is hurtful.

Sometimes the attitude we hd towards the other person has a great impact in how willing the other is to understand what we are trying to say. Of course that everyone isn't accepting, sadly, but it is what it is, i guess.

Summing up:

- Try to perceive their possible reactions to it. (For example, with the events that lately had taken place, i think it could be easy to see if they could be accepting towards other sexualities and so on.)

- Try to find a natural way to come up with it, maybe try to slip in the conversation naturally.

- Sometimes one to one, is easier that telling a bunch of people straightforward that usually coming out as asexual means that an explanation is needed afterwards.

- Be understanding, a patient. Is hard, i know, but many times the other person, isn't willing to harm or offend, and we all make mistakes.

- Have tons of cake with you :cake:

And as kelico said, don't force it, let things happen, it'll make easier, and if you don't feel ready to do it, don't do it yet. The time will come.

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The only person that actually needs to know about your orientation is a potential partner. Yes, awareness is great but it's not so great if you're constantly around people who deny your sexuality and are frequently trying to fix you/convince you otherwise. Also, consider what the benefit/point would be in coming out to them; if there is one. But if you think it's safe to come out then i suggest looking up asexual denial/comebacks. Many people don't understand what the phrase sexual attraction means so you need to put it as bluntly as possible. Sexual attraction is when someones presence turns you on which triggers the urge to do sexual things to them.

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The best way to approach it is to be real and straight forward.

Explain It to your family the best way you know how.

You can explain to them either individually or all at once, its

up to you.But better to tell them in person instead on Facebook.

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Before making my coming out to my mother, I explained years earlier what asexuality was. She took the news well enough. Like star bit said, you have no obligation to tell them but if you want to, choose the support you feel the more confortable with. If you're not a big talker, facebook may be the thing you need.

Personally ,that what I'd choose because it lets you the time to think everything through and you don't have to repeat yourself I-don't-know-how-many times. (Plus, I'm quite shy.)

I've thought about letting other people in the know recently, just so they will stop bother me with "who do you find attractive?" "who would you date?" etc.

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