sdh3 Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 Hey, so I am really questioning if i fit into the asexual community/if i am asexual. I experience attraction where i want to kiss/touch another person, but I have no desire to have sex with the person bc it repulses me. Does this mean I am asexual, demi-sexual, or something else entirely? Like, I can participate with my friends and be like oh yeah so and so is hot i want him to make-out with me, but if they start talking nudity and real sex I'm outtie! and it's not bc i'm like ew sex gross, I just don't feel a desire to have sex. Any thoughts? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Archived Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 If you don't have the desire to have sex with anyone, then that sounds like asexuality to me. Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction. There are romantic asexuals who desire to be romantic and kiss their significant other. Wanting to kiss/touch other people could be considered as sensual or romantic attraction. It becomes romantic when you love that person romantically. If you just like touching people, then that's sensual. I believe there are actually sex-repulsed allosexuals (non-asexuals), but if you just don't get sexually attracted to people, then that's asexual. It all boils down to how you feel though, so identify yourself with what feels comfortable. Welcome, by the way ^_^ I'm Karmynn Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Flits Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 Judging by what you've said I would probably say that this falls perfectly under the umbrella of asexual, but not, perhaps, aromantic. The former means you aren't interested in sexual conduct/don't experience it. Aromantic would mean the same thing for romantic interactions, kissing generally regarded to be such. Of course, definitions vary from person to person, and I'm not an expert, but I think asexual still fits what you're saying. You can still experience other feelings that aren't sexually based. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sdh3 Posted July 27, 2015 Author Share Posted July 27, 2015 thank you both this clears things up a lot for me!! i read the what is sexual attraction thread, but i was sooo confused still! so sexual attraction is literally wanting to have sex? or is it still wanting to partake in other activities commonly associated with sex but that aren't actually sex? again, thank you so much!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Flits Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 No problem! When people talk about sexuality it's really about sexual attraction, but at the end of the day, the themes of that are generally activities that revolve around, well, sex. So any sexual activity can be considered part of being 'sexual', and thus, if you don't desire any of those, you might be asexual. It's not a hard rule, though; some people may simply not realise they enjoy them and I bet still others may try them but realise it's not their thing. On the other hand, romantic attraction is commonly associated with other very common 'relationship' activities - but ones that tend to exist even with a lack of sexual attraction. So, kissing, cuddling, these sorts of things. It's worth noting that hugging works here too, but the type of embrace usually is different or has different context than what people use for familia-type relations. EDIT: Also note, though, that words ending in "sexual" often are used to state which gender(s) the person interested in, so it's often a catch-all and it's common to see someone state things like "hetrosexual" but not be the most sexual individual to exist. Even in some cases an asexual might use these for the ease of use, although you can also use something like "hetro-romantic" which implies liking the other gender, but only romantically (implying asexuality). But obviously it leads to some explaining. So anyway, this is how words get mingled a bit. But just because someone uses "sexual" doesn't make them extremely dependent on that type of relationship; this is the fault of using words to express wide spectrums. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Archived Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 thank you both this clears things up a lot for me!! i read the what is sexual attraction thread, but i was sooo confused still! so sexual attraction is literally wanting to have sex? or is it still wanting to partake in other activities commonly associated with sex but that aren't actually sex? again, thank you so much!! You're welcome :D I'm glad. I think Flits really has it down. It really just not wanting to have sex with anyone. Wanting to be sensual or romantic with someone is being sensually or romantically attracted to them. There's different types of attractions. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 Not all sexual people enjoy sex. I'm not too sure about that part. But here is a general idea: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/75/51/8b/75518b27b8fe8f6fd818328c203ab27e.jpg Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 Judging by what you've said I would probably say that this falls perfectly under the umbrella of asexual, but not, perhaps, aromantic. The former means you aren't interested in sexual conduct/don't experience it. Aromantic would mean the same thing for romantic interactions, kissing generally regarded to be such. Of course, definitions vary from person to person, and I'm not an expert, but I think asexual still fits what you're saying. You can still experience other feelings that aren't sexually based. But not desiring to kiss does not make one aromantic. Aromantic lies in romantic emotions and not it's actions; the soft fuzzy feelings with some degree of fixation. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sdh3 Posted July 28, 2015 Author Share Posted July 28, 2015 thank you all Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Flits Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 Judging by what you've said I would probably say that this falls perfectly under the umbrella of asexual, but not, perhaps, aromantic. The former means you aren't interested in sexual conduct/don't experience it. Aromantic would mean the same thing for romantic interactions, kissing generally regarded to be such. Of course, definitions vary from person to person, and I'm not an expert, but I think asexual still fits what you're saying. You can still experience other feelings that aren't sexually based. But not desiring to kiss does not make one aromantic. Aromantic lies in romantic emotions and not it's actions; the soft fuzzy feelings with some degree of fixation. This is obviously true, same as nerdperson777 stating that not all people sexually inclined might have or deeply want sex (they might like other sexual things or they might only very rarely desire it, like I said before). But it's fairly hard to summarize sdh3's answer without giving some examples as to what each of these might entail. Since they desire kissing, it's a safe bet they have some romantic feeling- but it obviously would be wrong to suggest they enjoy or don't enjoy any other romantic things. Since people might not know what some types of attractions tend to 'feel like', it's really only possible to state what they might involve, at least, that's the best I can do. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 What do you mean by other sexual things? Sex and doing things for arousal are the only sexual things. And actually, desiring chaste kissing does not entail romantic attraction so it just depends on what someone means by kissing. But yah, people can word something one way because they don't know what it actually is. So its really just best to get to the root of the matter/term. Romantic attraction is an emotion so it's hard to define/explain. There are so many technicalities with what's associated with it that it's best to leave it at something like how i defined it before or just say it's an emotion that's left up to one's interpretation. People have different reactions to it; like a dreamy mind set, butterflies in their stomach, blush, increased heart rate, etc, and other people don't. Everyone doesn't even experience limerence or infatuation. So it's best to give the basics and then elaborate on what that may also include. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sdh3 Posted July 28, 2015 Author Share Posted July 28, 2015 ohh okay. i'm a noob and i thought kissing was inherently sexual no matter the feelings behind that but now i see that is isn't! so thats what i meant by sexual activities :) thank you! i don't feel like i know myself well enough to tell where my emotions are coming from- whether romantic or sexual- i just know i do not desire sex! this thread has really cleared things up for me now i just need to self-reflect Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Unlabeled Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 Hey, so I am really questioning if i fit into the asexual community/if i am asexual. I experience attraction where i want to kiss/touch another person, but I have no desire to have sex with the person bc it repulses me. Does this mean I am asexual, demi-sexual, or something else entirely? Like, I can participate with my friends and be like oh yeah so and so is hot i want him to make-out with me, but if they start talking nudity and real sex I'm outtie! and it's not bc i'm like ew sex gross, I just don't feel a desire to have sex. Any thoughts? As with other sexualities and their definitions, there's different ways people define asexuality same as there's various ways and degrees of sexuality in the other main definitions. So if you just enjoy a good make-out session, you may well be asexual. I learned asexual as being uninterested in sex, but not suffering because of it as with forced celibacy like for certain types of clergy. Making out's awesome. I Myself am very tactile and love snuggling and cuddling and kissing as well. And it's actually my fav part of physical intimacy. Sex proper and orgasms I can do myself so it's not what I'm interested in with other people any more. But a good snog reminds me of being a teen and those first relationships and is kind of like reliving them. First frenchy was a surprise when I thought it was just gonna be a lip-kiss but she shoved her tongue in my mouth. I adapted quickly and eagerly of course but it remains one of those burned in long-term memories. :) I've forgotten many lovers and the sex stuff, but I remember kisses very well. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DavidEchor1988 Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 Much thanks to you both this clears things up a great deal for me!! i read the what is sexual fascination string, however i was sooo confounded still! so sexual fascination is actually needing to engage in sexual relations? on the other hand is despite everything it needing to share in different exercises ordinarily connected with sex yet that aren't really sex? once more, thank you to such an extent... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member 92789 Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 Hey, so I am really questioning if i fit into the asexual community/if i am asexual. I experience attraction where i want to kiss/touch another person, but I have no desire to have sex with the person bc it repulses me. Does this mean I am asexual, demi-sexual, or something else entirely? Like, I can participate with my friends and be like oh yeah so and so is hot i want him to make-out with me, but if they start talking nudity and real sex I'm outtie! and it's not bc i'm like ew sex gross, I just don't feel a desire to have sex. Any thoughts? I experience the same. I get attracted to people, think their cute and wanna kiss them, but sex repulses me to. I rarely get sexually aroused. But I also never kissed or had sex with anyone. Im inexperienced. But when Im attracted to someone I want a romantic relationship with them only. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Terrible Travis Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 I believe there are actually sex-repulsed allosexuals (non-asexuals). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ThatGuy12 Posted November 10, 2022 Share Posted November 10, 2022 I love kissing and i find my partner extremely attractive and their appearance arouses me but sex just isn't something i want to do. I don't find it gross or disturbing. It's just not something i want to do. I've done it before with multiple people and i just don't enjoy it. would i be considered asexual? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sam derrick Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 (edited) On 11/10/2022 at 3:59 AM, ThatGuy12 said: I love kissing and i find my partner extremely attractive and their appearance arouses me but sex just isn't something i want to do. I don't find it gross or disturbing. It's just not something i want to do. I've done it before with multiple people and i just don't enjoy it. would i be considered asexual? Edited May 2, 2023 by sam derrick change name Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sam derrick Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 1 minute ago, sam derrick said: how old are you my wife is 66yo Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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