Did I just flirt or mde the mistake of showing potential interest?

[Lord Jade Cross]

Ok so Im definately socially incompetent and this much is clear to me so I want to ask if what I did today at work qualifies as flirting/showing interest.

I came early today and decided to buy some breakfast at the cafeteria since I had not had any breakfast. I went up to the employee break room to eat my breakfast since its closer to my area than the cafeteria. Upon entering I saw 1 out of the 4 other employees that started with me and it struck me as odd as the others were many times there, unless they were running late or something. I made this comment saying "thats odd (insert name) isnt here and shes usually really early" to which the other guy agreed. It wasnt meant to be but a simple observation.

Later in the day, at around break time the other employee came to me and said that she would be waiting for me in the break room. I was a little dumbfoubded but went anyways since I was going on break and I didnt think anything of it at that moment. The break room became a close ended place for those 15 minutes of break and it led to an awkward converstion where the girl started to get a bit too detailed about her likes and dislikes. Not to mention that neither of the other 3 were in sight, so this made me feel uncomfortable. I tried to follow the conversation and add some detail or two without getting too personal.

It could be just that she was trying to break ice as we are both new but I dont like the possibility of this being a sort of signal of future events.

Please tell me Im just overanalizing here.

[andreas1033]

It wasnt meant to be but a simple observation.

I know how you feel about this, ie saying totally innocent things to someone, and they turn it into some other thing.

I found when i worked with people, i had to watch every single little thing i said, it was annoying. Its what people whom are not into others have to be careful of, as people do get carried away, and they think these words you say mean something more.

I do not think your over analysing there.

[mythril]

For some reason simple observations and just being friendly/showing concern are sometimes taken for flirting and I don't get it either. I tend to be really talkative and friendly to people, even ones I don't know all that well and it tends to get me into awkward situations. I frequently have to say "no, I smile and talk to everyone. It's not just you." Yea, I agree with the above. It happens.

[Lord Jade Cross]

Oh great... Here we go again with problems with someone thinking Im interested in them. I hope this passes quickly. I really dont need any free problems.

[*a*rteest]

I know how you feel about this, ie saying totally innocent things to someone, and they turn it into some other thing.

I found when i worked with people, i had to watch every single little thing i said, it was annoying. Its what people whom are not into others have to be careful of, as people do get carried away, and they think these words you say mean something more.

I do not think your over analysing there.

Neither do I.

Story: At work, one of my fellow employees was constantly trying to get me to go out with my boss. (We're both single, I have NO attraction to him whatsoever and would never NEVER go out with him. He might even be in the closet...as one of those uber- religious closeted gays) She might have meant it as a joke, but after three or four times, it wasn't funny anymore, just annoying. I got so tired of her constant talking about it I just looked at her and said "You should go to him and ask him if he wants to take us out. If you really want to make a love connection, you're gonna have to find out if both ends of the wire are hot!!" Basically I was calling her bluff and testing whether she'd really do this or not. :)

Later, some of us were talking together along with the "match-maker". I mentioned to other people that she wanted us to hook up and I wasn't interested, but it was "fun" discussing it and being silly about it. She said, "but you said that stuff about love connections and wires! You said you wanted me to ask him for you!"

I said "I was being sarcastic." I STILL don't know if she was trying to joke about it or not...I really don't know how far she was serious or how much of it was a head-game...and I don't know what the point of that story was...but yeah, it had something to do with you having to be careful, even in a case like that.

[EmpathyAce]

Oh gosh, I know the feeling. Just simply making an observation, or showing something that may even barely resemble the faintest sense of concern or care, and then they go and think you're flirting. -__-

That happened to me before. The person thought I was interested in them that way (eeugh) and apparently our friends did too. Then they all started subtly encouraging it even though I was always like "HELL NO. NO THANK YOU"

Then it got worse to the point where I just couldn't stick around anymore :/

This kind of thing really is a disaster.

[Lord Jade Cross]

Definately. Both if it happens or even just the possibility can turn into a potential problem.

[Ficulnean]

You didn't send the wrong signal . . . They just took the wrong signal. They may have taken a friend signal and not a flirting one, so there's still that hope.

[Lord Jade Cross]

Unfortunately said employee has been showing signs of interest which leads me to believe that she may have indeed interpreted the sign as a flirtatious one.

Im currently working on avoiding her as much as possible, which so far has been rather unsuccessful.

[Anyina]

Uff... I offer my sincere condolences u.u

That's so very annoying!

I don't think you did anything weird or even as little as "ambiguous". Most probably, the girl was already interested in you to start with and many women are outstanging at reading too much into innocent comments, so either the person delivering the "message" put too much meaning into it or she did herself.

There was a time, before I even knew about asexuality, that I was pretty much terrified of being missinterpreted that way, because I didn't have the slightest idea of what I was doing "wrong". Many times I would say or do that I saw as completely innocent and then get unrequired attention or (much, much worse) "reprimanded" about it. I remember this time when a friend's boyfriend gave me a hug (I didn't even do anything, it was him giving me a hug) and up till now I still don't know what I "did", but he automatically pulled back and told me "not to do that" with *that* voice, I don't know how to describe it but you probably know what I mean, it just sounded so wrong, it made me feel awful and I didn't even know why!

Sometimes people are exhausting.