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How do you feel about flirting?


MarieIsEatingTacobell

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scarletlatitude

^^ Wish I could like that post several times

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I feel like flirting can (and should be) fun and harmless- in theory. But realistically flirting feels a little weird to me. Maybe it's because I can kind of sense their intentions? Sometimes I feel flattered (because wow someone has interest in me??) but other times it just makes me so anxious and nervous. I prefer play flirting with my friends. We all know that we don't mean anything by it. And even if they did- I'd at least feel a lot more comfortable with them over a stranger

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I don't really like it. Some of my friends flirt with me and I try to flirt back, they get a laugh out of it.

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cosmosredshift7

I can never tell when someone is flirting with me, and I apparently come off as flirting WHEN I DON'T MEAN TO; because i just don't.

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I find it flattering to be flirted with in a respectful manner, but any other way is annoying and often rude. I could never flirt with anyone though, it's just not my style.

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Most guys who flirted with me were kinda disgusting and showing off that face 'I wanna do you', seeing their thoughts and what they want, which (apart from being unattractive) made me feel uneasy to I ran away.

With boys my taste it's difficult. Two possibilities: if I feel good that moment or day and I like getting those flattery compliments which push my ego. Another day I feel bad and have low-self esteem I hate it and feel to run away or crying because that's not what i like to be. yeah kinda strange I know

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I don't like being flirted to. I was never really flirted to directly, but the thought of it makes me really uncomfortable. There was an instance where a guy just flat out asked me out which caught me off guard and led to a quick "no" and another instance where some guy sent his friend over to me, telling me that he said I looked pretty and wants to talk to me. They were both very uncomfortable to me so I don't think I'd like actually having someone come up to me and just start flirting.

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I don't flirt. I'm really uncomfortable with girls flirting with me to the point where it stresses me out. I usually try to fit the words "my girlfriend" into a conversation with a girl if they're trying to flirt with me. Even if I have to shoehorn it in I find a way. They usually don't press things further when they hear I'm with someone. It's also way easier to say "Oh my girlfriend likes that too." than it is to tell them "I don't have anything against you, I just I don't have any attraction to people I've just met, please stop because what you're doing causes me anxiety..."

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scarletlatitude

I don't flirt. I'm really uncomfortable with girls flirting with me to the point where it stresses me out. I usually try to fit the words "my girlfriend" into a conversation with a girl if they're trying to flirt with me. Even if I have to shoehorn it in I find a way. They usually don't press things further when they hear I'm with someone. It's also way easier to say "Oh my girlfriend likes that too." than it is to tell them "I don't have anything against you, I just I don't have any attraction to people I've just met, please stop because what you're doing causes me anxiety..."

Thanks for that perspective. We often hear about men being pushy towards women when it comes to sex, but these kinds of things do go both ways! There are lots of women who are also trying to push men into sex. (And I'm sure the same thing goes for homosexual and bisexual people too!) Either way it is not very pleasant if you don't want to have sex at all.

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Autumn Season

Not sure about flirting in general, but when somebody compliments my appearance it's an immediate turn off.

First of all it sounds like a standard phrase one says to everyone. As if the other says what they are used to saying, not really caring about me (or any person) in particular, but hoping that somebody will love them for getting complimented. A numbers game, you know.

Second of all the person who looks at my appearance more than at my mind, totally ignores what I most value. (Talk to me! Find out more about me! Don't just stand there and appreciate my looks. Gah! Do you think I feel great when you stare at me? Am I a painting? Do some outdoor activity with me! Let's do stuff together! Stop looking and use your brain! *rant over*)

P.S.: And the most annoying part is that I am supposed to be thankful for receiving a compliment.

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scarletlatitude

Not sure about flirting in general, but when somebody compliments my appearance it's an immediate turn off.

First of all it sounds like a standard phrase one says to everyone. As if the other says what they are used to saying, not really caring about me (or any person) in particular, but hoping that somebody will love them for getting complimented. A numbers game, you know.

Second of all the person who looks at my appearance more than at my mind, totally ignores what I most value. (Talk to me! Find out more about me! Don't just stand there and appreciate my looks. Gah! Do you think I feel great when you stare at me? Am I a painting? Do some outdoor activity with me! Let's do stuff together! Stop looking and use your brain! *rant over*)

P.S.: And the most annoying part is that I am supposed to be thankful for receiving a compliment.

tumblr_m7643jcWcY1rziwwco1_400.giftumblr_nfixbr7Dr81rziwwco1_400.gif

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Thanks for that perspective. We often hear about men being pushy towards women when it comes to sex, but these kinds of things do go both ways! There are lots of women who are also trying to push men into sex. (And I'm sure the same thing goes for homosexual and bisexual people too!) Either way it is not very pleasant if you don't want to have sex at all.

I agree that it goes both ways, but I feel because of gender norms (which I disagree with already) ace women have a more annoying time than ace men. With men asexual and sexual if they don't respond to flirting it sort of gives the same message of not being interested. On the other hand, since some sexual women are more subtle with flirting, a sexual guy might see flirting with an asexual girl as her playing hard to get rather than her having a lack of interest. I can't imagine a world where that's comfortable. Then again maybe I'm just really overgeneralizing...

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Peculiar, I think thats the right word. Its people who speak in riddles and don't say what they mean. Or they expect you to understand some kind of cue that they're flirting but they've never actually said what they want?? :blink::wacko:. Also I hate when people stare/gawk at me :blink::wacko::ph34r:, do this stuff and you ain't getting no where fast. While I'm at it please don't flirt with people specifically in a service type job (like retail).

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I don't like flirting but is primarily a dislike of the sexual intention behind most flirting.

Once while I was in a hostel a woman started talking and flirting with me and I felt a bit put on but continued to engage anyways. At the end when she intimated that we should take a walk together/share a meal and I said there were other things I preferred doing (writing an email to friends) a look of rage flitted across her face.

I guess her flirting was a downpayment for sex I wasn't selling.

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I mostly feel awkward and sometimes nervous rather than flattered. I don't enjoy flirting because I can't reciprocate the feeling, and I don't know how to turn people down gracefully. I'm likely to leave the other person feeling like the flirt was successful, since I avoid ignoring or being rude in general.

I don't like flirting but is primarily a dislike of the sexual intention behind most flirting.

Once while I was in a hostel a woman started talking and flirting with me and I felt a bit put on but continued to engage anyways. At the end when she intimated that we should take a walk together/share a meal and I said there were other things I preferred doing (writing an email to friends) a look of rage flitted across her face.

I guess her flirting was a downpayment for sex I wasn't selling.

That's another thing I dislike about flirting, most people get really pissy when they're turned down. In my experience, men tend to be more persistent, I've had strange men follow me home after being turned down! Now when I don't have someone to back me up and somebody approaches me I try to appear receptive to the flirt and when they inevitably ask for my number I just pretend I don't have my phone on me, give a fake one and reassure them that we'll talk later.

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That's another thing I dislike about flirting, most people get really pissy when they're turned down. In my experience, men tend to be more persistent, I've had strange men follow me home after being turned down! Now when I don't have someone to back me up and somebody approaches me I try to appear receptive to the flirt and when they inevitably ask for my number I just pretend I don't have my phone on me, give a fake one and reassure them that we'll talk later.

I've heard so many of these stories of men following women around after a brief exchange of words, waiting for them outside of stores. There are a lot of creepers. There have only been a few stories I've heard of men approaching women I know for a short conversation and thats really all they wanted.

Flirting outside on the street self selects creepers for sure.

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I think that flirting is fun ... When I notice that it's happening. >.> <.<

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  • 2 months later...

Wait, I was being flirted with? Wait, seriously, that's happened to me? Is my reaction, the few times it's happened.

The few times I've noticed while I was being flirted with? I just froze up.

THIS.

And the clueless moment when someone is actually checking you out or flirting with you and you have no idea. Or, let's say (like it happened on the bus with me yesterday), cute guy keeps looking your way and you think he's actually cute, but you have ZERO idea whether he's actually checking you out or trying to begin flirting with you, or if he's just looking past you to someone else.

I had one of those situations like 2 years ago, always on the bus. Cute guy was standing up and he kept looking my way, but me, with my low self-esteem, obviously thought he was looking at someone else. Yet, I was the last one on the bus (back seats) and there was no one for him to actually look at but me. And eventually, I kept on looking back at him in curiosity on whether he was actually staring at me or someone else... until he SMILED.

And I froze up. I mean... I got literally nervous. As much as he was a cute guy and I kind of liked the fact he was indeed checking me out, the prospective of whatever would come out of it (I had no idea about asexuality then) made me panic. My hands went cold and I was like "Ugh what do I do if this guy comes to talk to me?"

Because while I was actually physically attracted to him, perhaps I already dreaded the prospective of what he would most likely want later on. Maybe that has always been the underlining issue of me and flirting, at least until now: because in my head, flirting, more often than not, was always the beginning of someone wanting to sleep with you one way or another (even if it first led to a relationship). And now, to top it all, considering I'm definitely into romance and want a relationship, I'll be second-guessing myself a lot whenever (it doesn't happen often) someone flirts with me. Because while part of me likes that and would love if that situation led to a relationship, I'll always assume that it will end up me being on a sexual/asexual relationship... and I really don't want the actual sexual intercourse.

And then, now there's the doubt: but what if it DID work out?

Yes, my mind goes into spirals sometimes... it ain't good :D

I guess that's why it terrifies me. That, and I'm just too awkward to understand what to do and what to say anyway.

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I have mixed feelings about it. It really depends on the person, my feelings towards them and my mood. If a total stranger starts flirting with me I get creeped out and feel uncomfortable. I am often a flirt though. But not in real life, only on the internet. With some people I can flirt after few minutes of chatting, but it's not flirting like "I like you and I think you're hot", it's just a sort of humor I have. I often slip flirtatious lines and compliments when talking to my friends, even if I'm completely not attracted to them, because I find it silly and funny.

I like flirting because it makes me feel confident, sexy and good about myself, and it usually does the same thing to the person I'm flirting with. ^^

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newMasturbator

I'm pretty straight-forward and very into finding what is aesthetically pleasing to me, so if I like someone's face, or hair, or shirt, or whatever, I usually just tell them straight up, even if I don't know them well. I don't mean it in any specific way, other than an acknowledgment that they look good (to me). I guess I'm more into giving random compliments like that than flirting with the intention of having it go anywhere.

But I rarely catch when someone is flirting with me. If I do, I don't know how to respond. Laugh it off and change the subject? Sit there awkwardly and stare into space? Flirting generally seems to be attached to wanting to hook up with the other party, and in that sense isn't it incredibly awkward?

I'm personaly not able to really identify flirting. I think it's too subtly and could cause trouble since you'd not be straight up informing someone ur interested in them and not just... idk... being friendly? It seems like a weird social tactic.

I can relate to these posts. Flirting is very awkward. Like someone else said: after you openly flirt with someone, things will forever be awkward if the feelings aren't mutual.

As for myself, I have a very low libido and I'm close to aromantic. So the only reason for me to flirt with someone is because I find them attractive, but I don't even need the sex. For that reason I mostly don't flirt. Like someone said, "It's just not my style"

When someone I find attractive flirts with me I do feel flattered, but a woman rarely flirts with me with the intention of having sex (at least straight away). So it doesn't intimidate me. But yeah, still awkward.

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I don't like it too much. It just seems like you just want to have sex. If you really want me to like you, let's talk about...well, almost anything over coffee or Monster in my case.

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Someone would have to be very direct for me to catch on; I've only realized others flirted with me in hindsight (and not as in realizing the day after but rather months later). And flirting from my end is just as weird; in immediate hindsight I thought to myself "So...that was my attempt at flirting, wasn't it?"

As to answering the question: assuming I actually find the person attractive, then they'd have to hit the sweet spot; too much and it's just plain awkward (nothing that said person probably couldn't recover from), too little and I wouldn't catch on. As for all others; I only realized the flirting months afterwards and found it very awkward, given that there wasn't a strong enough relationship (the platonic kind/friendship) for me to see a point in them flirting with me.

One difference, for me, is that flirting is something I , foremost, do with an emotionally intimate intent, while, from my understanding, most others have a sexual intent behind it. Perhaps that is why I just have such a hard time understanding flirting.

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