Local Pride has A for Ally :/

[ShyFeather]

So my community is having their Pride parade in September and I was researching how I could march in the parade. On the page that provides information about the parade the say that their mission is to provide activities "directed at furthering the well-being and development of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, and ally community." Their front page also says this. I'm not really sure what to take of it. I know there are a lot of aces that get really uptight about this but I don't really feel mad. Just kind of sad and excluded. But I don't know if they are just breaking down the LGBTQ and tagging allies to the end or if it's LGBTQA and they are making A stand for ally. The site avoids using the acronym and they also don't have intersex included either.

I'm wondering if I should approach the organization about this and, if so, how I should do it. I don't really mind that they include allies since they do provide resources to parents of queer children. I think it would be best if asexuals and intersex were also recognized too. I would hate for local asexuals to feel like they can't be in the parade because of this (it's kind of how I feel right now, especially since they want all participants to wear gay pride colors). Does anyone have experience in this sort of thing or have any advice?

[Groovy Teacakes]

I don't really have any advice, but I have a related story. I went to the Pride parade in my city today and they did a call out as in, "Make a noise if you are - blank-", but they only called out LGBT and then straight allies. I wasn't really able to join in because of all those things I am mostly an ally, but I'm not straight. So yeah. I felt quite left out because I fitted into none of the categories, but I was in the parade nonetheless.

[LadyPariah]

Where I live, they only have LGBT without the Q or A. Most people deny that asexuals even exist here! You can look up the pride leaders in your area or capitol and contact them. I'm not sure if they'll ignore you, but they probably will have some questions (which aven is probably the best place for them to find the answers). It is not uncommon for even the LGBTQ and allies to say "you're making it up just to be special." But I say it's worth a try to spread awareness.

[Nadia Hope]

I'd suggest contacting the organization and talking to them. You can always email them or just talk in person, if there's a possibility. Explain that they are excluding parts of the LGBTQIA community from pride, which is hurtful. You can always even start volunteering in the organization (if they have volunteers), maybe helping them with pride next year.

[Peachyy]

Bummer.. I dont mind allies, its cool, but why put them /in/ the acronym for queer folk? Its just. Ugh . I'd approach them and ask what they had planned for the asexual aspect, see if they are even including aces or waving out completely to make room for the allies... Eh..

[Unlabeled]

So my community is having their Pride parade in September and I was researching how I could march in the parade. On the page that provides information about the parade the say that their mission is to provide activities "directed at furthering the well-being and development of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, and ally community." Their front page also says this. I'm not really sure what to take of it. I know there are a lot of aces that get really uptight about this but I don't really feel mad. Just kind of sad and excluded. But I don't know if they are just breaking down the LGBTQ and tagging allies to the end or if it's LGBTQA and they are making A stand for ally. The site avoids using the acronym and they also don't have intersex included either.

I'm wondering if I should approach the organization about this and, if so, how I should do it. I don't really mind that they include allies since they do provide resources to parents of queer children. I think it would be best if asexuals and intersex were also recognized too. I would hate for local asexuals to feel like they can't be in the parade because of this (it's kind of how I feel right now, especially since they want all participants to wear gay pride colors). Does anyone have experience in this sort of thing or have any advice?

Playing Devil's Advocate, asexuality is like atheism in that you're not really suited to a theist gathering or sexual one. If your idea of asexuality is having no interest in sex, then you're lack of interest isn't suited for a gathering of those with an interest who get persecuted for it. Unless there's discrimination for those not interested in sex, being uninterested in something doesn't entitle you to activities for those interested in things but who get persecuted for it right?

Be like attending an interfaith conference and being upset they didn't include atheists in their literature. Would be welcome and in-place at an abstinenance or celibacy event I'd think, but not as much at a sexual one. That's the logic of the organizers I would think anyway. Not personally dictating their reality or your's, just explaining how they'd likely be rationalizing it.

Aexualism is simply the absence of sexuality which shouldn't be considered like a LGBT group but rather a celibate or abstinnance one.

[DannyFenton123]

So my community is having their Pride parade in September and I was researching how I could march in the parade. On the page that provides information about the parade the say that their mission is to provide activities "directed at furthering the well-being and development of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, and ally community." Their front page also says this. I'm not really sure what to take of it. I know there are a lot of aces that get really uptight about this but I don't really feel mad. Just kind of sad and excluded. But I don't know if they are just breaking down the LGBTQ and tagging allies to the end or if it's LGBTQA and they are making A stand for ally. The site avoids using the acronym and they also don't have intersex included either.

I'm wondering if I should approach the organization about this and, if so, how I should do it. I don't really mind that they include allies since they do provide resources to parents of queer children. I think it would be best if asexuals and intersex were also recognized too. I would hate for local asexuals to feel like they can't be in the parade because of this (it's kind of how I feel right now, especially since they want all participants to wear gay pride colors). Does anyone have experience in this sort of thing or have any advice?

Playing Devil's Advocate, asexuality is like atheism in that you're not really suited to a theist gathering or sexual one. If your idea of asexuality is having no interest in sex, then you're lack of interest isn't suited for a gathering of those with an interest who get persecuted for it. Unless there's discrimination for those not interested in sex, being uninterested in something doesn't entitle you to activities for those interested in things but who get persecuted for it right?

Be like attending an interfaith conference and being upset they didn't include atheists in their literature. Would be welcome and in-place at an abstinenance or celibacy event I'd think, but not as much at a sexual one. That's the logic of the organizers I would think anyway. Not personally dictating their reality or your's, just explaining how they'd likely be rationalizing it.

Aexualism is simply the absence of sexuality which shouldn't be considered like a LGBT group but rather a celibate or abstinnance one.

But we're not celibate. We have as much right to be in a LGBTQA pride as anybody else. I realise that this isn't your personal view, but we haven't chosen not to experience sexual attraction, just like somebody who is homosexual hasn't chosen to experience sexual attraction to their own sex.

[purplesnow]

asexuality is like atheism in that you're not really suited to a theist gathering or sexual one

This might make some sense if it was e.g. an LGB pride event (though, that's still debatable: is it an event centred around people who sometimes have non-heterosexual sex, or people of minority sexual orientations? What exactly are you going to be doing at this event that might make it unsuitable for people who don't have sex?!), but definitely not if you're including letters like T and I in the acronym, which have nothing to do with sexuality.

(Also, hello world, it's my first post!)

[Guest]

So my community is having their Pride parade in September and I was researching how I could march in the parade. On the page that provides information about the parade the say that their mission is to provide activities "directed at furthering the well-being and development of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, and ally community." Their front page also says this. I'm not really sure what to take of it. I know there are a lot of aces that get really uptight about this but I don't really feel mad. Just kind of sad and excluded. But I don't know if they are just breaking down the LGBTQ and tagging allies to the end or if it's LGBTQA and they are making A stand for ally. The site avoids using the acronym and they also don't have intersex included either.

I'm wondering if I should approach the organization about this and, if so, how I should do it. I don't really mind that they include allies since they do provide resources to parents of queer children. I think it would be best if asexuals and intersex were also recognized too. I would hate for local asexuals to feel like they can't be in the parade because of this (it's kind of how I feel right now, especially since they want all participants to wear gay pride colors). Does anyone have experience in this sort of thing or have any advice?

Playing Devil's Advocate, asexuality is like atheism in that you're not really suited to a theist gathering or sexual one. If your idea of asexuality is having no interest in sex, then you're lack of interest isn't suited for a gathering of those with an interest who get persecuted for it. Unless there's discrimination for those not interested in sex, being uninterested in something doesn't entitle you to activities for those interested in things but who get persecuted for it right?

Be like attending an interfaith conference and being upset they didn't include atheists in their literature. Would be welcome and in-place at an abstinenance or celibacy event I'd think, but not as much at a sexual one. That's the logic of the organizers I would think anyway. Not personally dictating their reality or your's, just explaining how they'd likely be rationalizing it.

Aexualism is simply the absence of sexuality which shouldn't be considered like a LGBT group but rather a celibate or abstinnance one.

I may have misunderstood your post but i definetly think that we as asexuals have the same rights to be in LGBT+ pride and tell the world what we stand for and celebrate that amongst the LGBT+ people.

Let me tell you how i feel about this: Its difficult enough for an asexual to stand theyre grounds in this oversexualised world where a sex life with multiple partners is the most common thing and that its not normal not desiring the usual picture perfect house,tree,dog,husband/wife and couple of kids type of life, let be not to have sex at all, they almost want to take you as mentally ill because of that. My ten fingers are too short to count the times i have been laughed at and made fun off just because i choose not to let someone have my virginity when i was a teen, in my twenties and now in my 30's, so how is it not acceptable for me to be able to celebrate my pride amongst like minded people and others who have so much trouble standing theyre grounds and show the world what i stand for? I will never understand how its like to be LGBT but i can understand perfectly how difficult it is when you are not being accepted because you live different, walk different, talk different and act different then most "normal" people.

The whole meaning of "Asexuals being atheism in that you're not really suited to a theist gathering or sexual on " is utter nonsense to me because we have a hard time too as asexuals. We dont really fit in the " normal sexual society" because our mindset is different then theirs and we dont desire the same things sexuals do.That whole line about asexuals being atheisms means the same to me like the whole meaning of the pot telling the kettle its seeing black on the bottom, I cant really tell the difference or maybe its just me.

I know LGBT people have to endure alot for being who they are maybe alot more then we asexuals have to endure but that doesnt take away the fact that we dont experience our difficulties too, we too have our pride and want to share that with everyone around us.

But maybe im just confused.

[Qloshae]

Maybe hand out something like this to them? ;)

https://hulshofschmidt.wordpress.com/2012/07/11/whats-in-an-acronym-parsing-the-lgbtqqip2saa-community/

And remind them that it is called LGBT+ for a reason.

[WünderBâhr]

The sexual vs not sexual argument is basically over who should represent political agenda, and it's a thin argument, imo. It reduces people to the sex acts they participate in, and I'm pretty sure LGBT+ers are going to have something to say about that. Also, it dismisses the various asexuals/LGBT+ people who fit into the LGBT+ community in other ways (romantic orientations, gender/sex, etc.). It can certainly come across as extremely invalidating, and kind of rude, so.. we should try to avoid those sorts of generalizations.

It should also be noted that AVEN would be a pretty quiet and boring place if we took sex/sexual perspectives out of the picture using the same argument logic. Communities/identities are defined just as much by what they aren't as by what they are. It's the mutual benefit of conversation among multiple perspectives that allows topics like sexuality and identity to be better understood, despite their complexity.

@ OP: You may want to check the Visibility and Education forum we have, here. The Project Team (members with "PT" labeled pink names) may also be able to provide information and feedback to help you facilitate conversation with your local LGBT+ community and the group organizing this particular event. Can't really hurt to have a chat or ask questions, right? They may not be aware of how many asexuals there are in your community to have them join the event. Kudos to you for taking a proactive stance. :) Best of luck!

[(A) & A]

Playing Devil's Advocate, asexuality is like atheism in that you're not really suited to a theist gathering or sexual one. If your idea of asexuality is having no interest in sex, then you're lack of interest isn't suited for a gathering of those with an interest who get persecuted for it. Unless there's discrimination for those not interested in sex, being uninterested in something doesn't entitle you to activities for those interested in things but who get persecuted for it right?

Be like attending an interfaith conference and being upset they didn't include atheists in their literature. Would be welcome and in-place at an abstinenance or celibacy event I'd think, but not as much at a sexual one. That's the logic of the organizers I would think anyway. Not personally dictating their reality or your's, just explaining how they'd likely be rationalizing it.

Aexualism is simply the absence of sexuality which shouldn't be considered like a LGBT group but rather a celibate or abstinnance one.

There's a few problems with this sort of line of thinking; the biggest being asexuality, unlike atheism, is not a choice.

It also plays into the stereotype that asexuals don't really face any persecution. And in most cases, you'd be right. In most cases, the average person thinks you're either just sexually repressed. But then there's some that think you're closeted, and you know what violent homophobes do to closeted homosexuals? The same thing they do to open homosexuals.

My asexuality isn't celibacy or abstinence. I didn't choose to be asexual, for religious or health reasons, and I have very little in come with most people that do. I have more in common with LGBT folks, when it comes to that sort of thing.

The real reason, at least in my opinion, why LGBT people don't sometimes accept asexuals is rather that being a person who happens to be LBGT and wants to fights for the rights of other people who happen to be LGBT, they are people who define themselves by being LBGT. It becomes a larger part of their personality than perhaps it should be, so since a large part of the face they put towards the world is based on who they have sex with, they recoil when people don't want to have sex.

[Unlabeled]

So my community is having their Pride parade in September and I was researching how I could march in the parade. On the page that provides information about the parade the say that their mission is to provide activities "directed at furthering the well-being and development of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, and ally community." Their front page also says this. I'm not really sure what to take of it. I know there are a lot of aces that get really uptight about this but I don't really feel mad. Just kind of sad and excluded. But I don't know if they are just breaking down the LGBTQ and tagging allies to the end or if it's LGBTQA and they are making A stand for ally. The site avoids using the acronym and they also don't have intersex included either.

I'm wondering if I should approach the organization about this and, if so, how I should do it. I don't really mind that they include allies since they do provide resources to parents of queer children. I think it would be best if asexuals and intersex were also recognized too. I would hate for local asexuals to feel like they can't be in the parade because of this (it's kind of how I feel right now, especially since they want all participants to wear gay pride colors). Does anyone have experience in this sort of thing or have any advice?

Playing Devil's Advocate, asexuality is like atheism in that you're not really suited to a theist gathering or sexual one. If your idea of asexuality is having no interest in sex, then you're lack of interest isn't suited for a gathering of those with an interest who get persecuted for it. Unless there's discrimination for those not interested in sex, being uninterested in something doesn't entitle you to activities for those interested in things but who get persecuted for it right?

Be like attending an interfaith conference and being upset they didn't include atheists in their literature. Would be welcome and in-place at an abstinenance or celibacy event I'd think, but not as much at a sexual one. That's the logic of the organizers I would think anyway. Not personally dictating their reality or your's, just explaining how they'd likely be rationalizing it.

Aexualism is simply the absence of sexuality which shouldn't be considered like a LGBT group but rather a celibate or abstinnance one.

But we're not celibate. We have as much right to be in a LGBTQA pride as anybody else. I realise that this isn't your personal view, but we haven't chosen not to experience sexual attraction, just like somebody who is homosexual hasn't chosen to experience sexual attraction to their own sex.

In the sense that pride parades began to oppose the supposed mainstream of heterosexual society being the only accepted possibility you'd be correct. But their arguement to exclude makes equal sense. They're showing pride in being sexual, but different to the sexual "mainstream." But asexuals aren't sexual so don't have pride in being sexual but different. Thus they could sensibly argue you don't belong with them. You would belong in a celibate or abstinant pride parade.

For the same reason every virgin who simply hasn't had sex yet isn't "celibate" but looks fowards to it is whatever orientation they are, an asexual with no interest in sex has pride in the absence of something. As the story attributed to Einstein (wasn't really but he gets the credit) about how cold and darkness don't actually exist, asexuality too is in that same vein. It's the absence of sex like cold is merely the absence of heat, and darkness the absence of light. But you can't measure cold or darkness since when you measure temperature and light you can only measure how much of those things there is. Just as you can't quanitfy someone who doesn't do something.

My personal view is you should be allowed in the parade. I can simply argue either side.

[Tarfeather]

... You know, the point of these minority groups is that they dislike being overruled and disregarded by the majorities, right? So it seems completely illogical to me to start defining the "pro-minority" movement by explicitly listing the minorities you represent. Because all that does is, as was just pointed out, to marginalize and erase the even smaller minorities. Consider you get these people to add the asexual label. What would happen to an even smaller minority? Someone with a sexual orientation that has like 0.001% rarity or something. They'd still get excluded, and for no better or worse reason than you're getting excluded right now. The whole concept is completely bonkers.