RatherBeReading Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 I want to break up with my controlling boyfriend this summer but I've never dumped someone before, we've been together almost 5 years and he controls so much of my life (obviously a big part of why I want out). Any advice on how to do it? Bear in mind he has been violent in the past. Link to post Share on other sites
andreas1033 Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 People that are controlling, are very hard to get through to, as you probably know. Your in a difficult position. Have you tried breaking up with him before? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Google "how to break up with violent boyfriend" Link to post Share on other sites
Krista Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Hi there are definitely some good websites out there for people trying to break up with a potentially violent partner. I would suggest getting your life out of his control as fast as possible or before you break up. Change your password on your phone, get your stuff (especially your ID, money, etc) from his house, and so on. Also, get your family and friends on your side. If you feel comfortable, explain that he's controlling/violent and ask them to help you block him or avoid him. It would be best to break up with him in a public place where you are not alone with him. Try not to get into a lot of arguments, explanations or analysis of your relationship, just tell him that unfortunately it's not working for you and that you cannot be with him anymore. Good luck, stay safe and let us know how it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
allrightalready Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 if you are really afraid there should be shelters which can help you. i have left and lost most of my stuff before, if there are no children involved it is a matter of deciding safety and sanity matter more than anything else. he has to sleep some time and you can walk out then, if you have to go to a police office and ask for help Link to post Share on other sites
dandelionfluff Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 There is such little information about the situation that it is really hard to give advice. For example, do you live with the boyfriend? Is he providing you with financial support? Are you financially stable on your own? If living with the boyfriend, will you be able to leave in a safe manner? Have you or will you press criminal charges? If necessary, will you be willing to get a restraining order? The easiest thing to say would be: just leave, cut contact, find a safe place and never speak to the boyfriend again. But that isn't a simple thing to do, especially considering the situation and whether or not violence is involved. The best thing to do would be to contact a professional, such as a battered women's shelter (if necessary) or the proper officials if you wish to file a restraining order. I think it is also crucial to have a safe place to go to and a person you can rely on while you escape the relationship, such a close friend or family member. Honestly without knowing the exact details of the situation no one can really give out concrete advice. The best thing you can do is seek out resources for women in abusive relationships in your area. If possible it is always best to have a trusted person assist you in leaving the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
b_oat Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Nvm. Read the post wrong. If he's violent get some help and safety first. Link to post Share on other sites
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