Am I asexual?

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(I'm a female in highschool btw) So I already consider myself aromantic, that's said and done. I think relationships are stupid, and have no point. I hate TV shows that center around relationships, especially romantic ones, because it seems stupid and boring. I have had a "crush" or two, but I have a habit to subconsciously follow what other people are doing, and once I reached high school and actually started dating, it became clear to me how pointless relationships are to me.

So now to the awkward part. Don't read if you don't like to hear about sexual stuff.

I find many people aesthetically pleasing which I think is 'normal' in the asexual spectrum (not like I'd date them, but I can tell they're attractive). I have been turned on, but not by people. Only by the thought of pure friction. I have masturbated, but it's for the feeling only, it's mechanical. I would never have sex with another person, that seems weird to me. People and emotions and relationships are out of the picture. Kissing is pointless and cuddling is awkward. I have been described as an INTP if you know Myers brigg, and seem generally unemotional. The only boys I've dated had been crushing on me for 4 and 2 years respectively. They both were exciting for a few hours maybe, and then I was bored. They wanted to kiss, hug, cuddle, I thought that was dumb. They wanted to talk all the time about nothing, and that's dumb also. The only time I enjoyed myself was when we were around other people talking about normal stuff, not like a couple at all. The relationships only lasted as long as they did (6 months) because they were both super super sensitive and I didn't want them to kill themselves or something. (Yes I realize I was only making it worse by dragging it on). So am I asexual? Or am I something else? I know I'm not demisexual because I'm aromantic, but I don't know about grey-A (I think that's it). If someone who's maybe a bit more experienced in this maybe try to help explain? Thanks!

[Pengwyn]

First off, welcome to AVEN! :cake:

You can be demisexual even if you are aro. You can still form a strong emotional bond, even if it's platonic instead of romantic. Grey-A is (usually) where your sexual attraction is rare. Since you haven't mentioned feeling any sexual attraction, I would be inclined to think you are asexual, but you may be grey. Of course, there are many more sexualities on the spectrum, such as cupiosexual and fictosexual. Good luck in deciding where you fit on the spectrum.

[SkyWorld]

Hi! Only you yourself can choose what to identify yourself as. Perhaps you already know that, but I tend to say that just in case. As Pengwyn mentioned, it is possible to be demisexual and aromantic. A "strong emotional bond" doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic bond. Perhaps checking out this thread may be of some help or the two usual links in my signature if you still have questions. If you still have any questions, please feel free to ask! And welcome! I wish you good luck.