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Do you consider/label yourself asexual?


Vincisomething

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I'm mainly talking of those in the ace community who aren't strictly asexual. For example, demisexual, gray A, lithosexual, etc. Would you be comfortable saying you are asexual? Is it appropriate to say you are asexual, even if you may be more specifically another sexuality in the community?

As a perhaps someday clinical sexual orientation I was born with, no. As a personal choice yes.

I've had lots of sex and enjoyed it, and when I masturbate fantasize about more. But in terms of reality when out n about I don't look at people imagining them as eager sexual partners any more. Think it's the porn worker syndrome where working around porn all day long your interest in it simply wanes or vanishes altogether. I've done just about everything sexual I've wanted to do so it's like drinking and getting drunk, done that, nothing left to investigate or experience so I dont' do it any more. But it's not that I'm a-alcohol so much as I just don't see a point or have a desire to do it any more.

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I do identify more with ase now, but for a while I considered myself demi. During that time, when I mentioned it, no one knew what it meant. When I tried to explain it to them, I was usually told that it's normal for women - women never want sex until they love someone; well not NEVER, but usually. They told me not to worry - I was completely normal. Then they refused to listen to any further explanation and treated me like your typical sexual. So I just started to say asexual. Easier to explain and in the end it gives them a more accurate view. I figure if they are not my partner, then they don't need to know anyway.

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Yes, if only to make it easier to understand for others to understand.

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Hidden Greg

I always shied away from the term 'asexual' because the unrefined "understanding" of asexuality I adopted from society allowed for barely any wiggle room in understanding who qualified as an asexual. The term itself was always weighted with connotations of non-libidoism, and any notion of a spectrum or a gray area managed to slip discourse entirely. Anything that didn't fit that understanding of 'asexual' put one firmly in the 'not asexual' camp, and that included me. Luckily, I was at least able to grasp the idea that sexual and romantic attraction were distinct from one another.

That lack of awareness, of course, became increasingly frustrating as time went on. Time spent living with the reality of being perpetually single, finding it harder to self-insert into fantasies that always entailed a degree of emotional intimacy. When I was younger that ability to fill in the gaps in my mind came naturally. With the looming question of "well, is this ever going to become reality?" overhead, it became more difficult and in turn my attention was drawn to the sheer extent to which sexual attraction, sexual desire and libido were tied to emotional intimacy as a pre-requisite.

Whether through force of habit or otherwise, I still wouldn't refer to myself as 'asexual' because I know the presumptions that come along with the term, and because 'demisexual' explains what I've inherently felt all a long so accurately.

If a situation calls for me to disclose my sexuality to someone and I say 'asexual', they go away with no better an understanding of me, but think they do.
If I say I'm demi, either the day comes where in doing so I am able to instantaneously impart a correct understanding of myself (in which case, streamers, fireworks and cake are in order), or when the reply is inevitably along the lines of "wtf does that mean", it gives me an opening to impart that understanding to one more person and make progress towards that aforementioned day.

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just another fangirl

I'm only just barely in the grey area and not strictly ace, so "asexual" works just fine for me

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I don't go around introducing myself as such or anything. I just don't mention it because 99% of the time, it's not relevant to me. Other people are much hornier than I am in everyday life and they talk about it all the time; by placing myself outside of that, I figure I give them some idea.

But also in kind of an activist sense, I want people to know that I am not representative of asexuality. There are people who don't do the do at all, may even be disgusted by sex, and get a lot of crap from other people because of that. I'm lucky in that way: I just have to deal with people trying to pry into my sex life.

But if somebody asks, then yeah, the vague answer is that I'm asexual. But I can get a whole lot more specific if I have to.

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I am lithsexual a fair amount of the time, but even then my asexuality can be seen from the Moon, so I prefer to say I'm asexual.

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