• Announcements

    • Kelly

      AVENues Holiday Special Edition is now live   08/17/17

      The new edition of AVENues is done!   See:        
    • Heart

      Help fund AVEN's servers!   11/06/17

      AVEN is doing its annual fundraiser to raise donations for server costs! See http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/163251-aven-server-fundraiser/ for more details.  
    • Kelly

      Join the team. Moderators and Project Team Member needed: Voting   01/04/18

      Voting has started. See:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/166163-new-moderator-member-needed-announcements-and-tea-and-sympathy-moderator-voting/   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/166162-new-moderator-member-needed-just-for-fun-aven-arcade-and-alternative-language-forum-moderator-voting/   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/166161-new-project-team-member-needed-answering-team-and-wiki-coordinator-voting/  
ZombiesAndSlasherMovies

Romantic feelings for Fictional Characters?

  

96 members have voted

  1. 1. Ever had feelings for a fictional character?

    • Just physical attraction
      11
    • Just a crush
      65
    • Yes
      163
    • No, not in anyway.
      38
    • Other (Please explain?)
      30


Recommended Posts

WoodwindWhistler
On 6/6/2017 at 6:07 PM, Ashkaa said:

 I usually just just obsess over them a bit, watch/read whatever they are in, buy some merchandise, and then move on.

If only I could do this. As it is, I get sucked into the endless fandom. 

 

On 6/6/2017 at 6:07 PM, Ashkaa said:

I don't think it's too weird to have feelings for for fictional characters. The whole point of the stories are to draw you in and make you connect with the them. Although, if your feelings for these characters are becoming problematic by interfering with your life it might not be so good. It doesn't sound like it is too much of a problem yet, but maybe keep in mind that you and real people come first? I don't think picking your fictional crush over a real life crush is too bad if you are still spending time with friends and family. Mostly because it might be unfair to your irl crush to date them when you have stronger feelings for the character. I'm really not someone to take relationship advice from though. 

It has interfered, but other times it has helped. :/

Definitely the thought has crossed my mind that it is unfair to my partner, but the thing is, (a) he knows precisely how immersed in this world I am- 400 pages of novel written, and he's read most of it- and has a pretty good idea of where he fits in priority, because I'm a total space case. (b) I think that even if he believed these characters were as 'real' as I experience them, he'd still want his piece of me! Haha

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Deus Ex Infinity
On 30.5.2017 at 11:54 PM, Malini said:

Wow, thanks for the link. Yes, this is exactly what I'm talking about. With me it's not only the characters, it's the whole worlds.

Also, I've come to a conclusion that one of the reasons for my dissatisfaction with IRL relationships is that I can't feel this special "telepathic" bond I have with the characters I love. I feel their emotions simultaneously to what I feel, but experience them separately from my own. I don't "think up" anything, it's a thing that happens naturally. This connection is very special, and relationships without this are very bland for me. I do have this thing in IRL too, with very very close people like my mother, and also with animals. But romantic-sexual IRL relationships totally lack this for me, it's like there is this black dead hole where I'm used to getting all those love transmissions. Therefore, I'm much happier with "fictional" characters who I can truly feel.

I can hear you all along. Thta's why I've become so much happier since I decided to give my fictional crush a serious chance as part of my private life. No more pain, disillusion, fights or cheating but pleasant,  smooth relaxing moments in perfect harmony. For better and worse.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Malini
10 hours ago, WoodwindWhistler said:

it might be unfair to your irl crush to date them when you have stronger feelings for the character.

Yes, I've always thought so too. People have labelled me crazy for that, but that's what I believe in. I actually ended a relationship with a guy who was very much in love with me for this reason. I can't return his feelings, my otherworld means so much more to me, and that felt too much like using him.

Besides, my soulbond husband is extremely jealous and possessive of me. :)

 

And I can't say that "real people come first". For me, who and what I love comes first. I regard reality as multidimensional and wider than people think... that means that "characters" are real, too. In many religions and spiritual practices, such as Hinduism, the material world we live in is not considered the ultimate reality. Instead, the inner spiritual world is perceived as more "real". I have strong and loving relationships with some "IRL" people, though not many. I can function in this-world rather well, at least externally, and in fact I appear quite friendly. But my soulbonds mean the world to me, and I treat them exactly as I would "real" people.

 

5 hours ago, Deus Ex Zero said:

I can hear you all along. Thta's why I've become so much happier since I decided to give my fictional crush a serious chance as part of my private life. No more pain, disillusion, fights or cheating but pleasant,  smooth relaxing moments in perfect harmony. For better and worse.

Yes, my point exactly. It's the sort of relationship that really gives you deep, fulfilling happiness. It's a very healing experience. And this joining of souls is such a beautiful, wondrous thing. I also find a lot of "hurt/comfort" in it. Both my "fictive" husband and I find a lot of healing in our love. We are both considered "flawed" people by our worlds. Basically, these worlds tell us we have to change to ever have a chance of being loved and accepted. But our inter-world soulbonding love enables us to be loved and accepted as we are, and it's such a delicious warm feeling.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Deus Ex Infinity
18 hours ago, Malini said:

Yes, I've always thought so too. People have labelled me crazy for that, but that's what I believe in. I actually ended a relationship with a guy who was very much in love with me for this reason. I can't return his feelings, my otherworld means so much more to me, and that felt too much like using him.

Besides, my soulbond husband is extremely jealous and possessive of me. :)

 

And I can't say that "real people come first". For me, who and what I love comes first. I regard reality as multidimensional and wider than people think... that means that "characters" are real, too. In many religions and spiritual practices, such as Hinduism, the material world we live in is not considered the ultimate reality. Instead, the inner spiritual world is perceived as more "real". I have strong and loving relationships with some "IRL" people, though not many. I can function in this-world rather well, at least externally, and in fact I appear quite friendly. But my soulbonds mean the world to me, and I treat them exactly as I would "real" people.

 

Yes, my point exactly. It's the sort of relationship that really gives you deep, fulfilling happiness. It's a very healing experience. And this joining of souls is such a beautiful, wondrous thing. I also find a lot of "hurt/comfort" in it. Both my "fictive" husband and I find a lot of healing in our love. We are both considered "flawed" people by our worlds. Basically, these worlds tell us we have to change to ever have a chance of being loved and accepted. But our inter-world soulbonding love enables us to be loved and accepted as we are, and it's such a delicious warm feeling.

Absolutedly, but it's hard to find people who would understand these special emotional connections within, leaving aside the term of "alternate" realities itself. Those characters are real and alive in their very own way. In different worlds. Everything that comes from our mind is "real", just as long as we would think about it.

 

18 hours ago, Malini said:

it might be unfair to your irl crush to date them when you have stronger feelings for the character.

I'm technically single IRL so there's not much of a problem here right now but things might get difficult if someone else would get a crush on me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tholomyes

I've really only had crushes on fictional characters, since personally, I need to interact with someone, at least a little bit, before it evolves into romantic attraction (and that's not really possible, outside of some niche roleplaying forums I used to frequent when I was 13). But I can understand why these feelings can develop: an author or an actor or a director or an artist have a goal in telling a story to make you believe, on some subconscious level, that the stories you are reading or watching are real. Characters, ideally, should be believable as people, at least in the context of the setting that they're placed in. If the creators of the story can do their jobs right, and have you believe on some level that the stories are real and the characters are real, even if on a conscious level you know it's fiction, it's understandable that people might feel romantic feelings for those characters. After all, romantic feelings don't come from the conscious mind, but from somewhere beneath that.

 

If these feelings for fictional characters is getting in the way of your ability to have a relationship with a flesh and blood person (and you feel that it's worth it to you to try to pursue relationships with real people instead), it might be worthwhile to speak to a therapist about it. I want to stress, it's not that you're mental or anything, but working through any sort of issues of relationships or attraction with someone who understands more about the psychology of this sort of thing might help you out. If you don't feel that your attraction to fictional characters is a problem or a problem you want to solve right now. then I don't see any reason you need to do anything about it. It's not something I feel that you need to resolve unless you want to make a change about it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SamwiseLovesLife

Fictional squishes-

 

The 10th Doctor Who (Or just generally David T)

Skeeter from The Help

House from House MD (Or just Hugh Laurie, generally)

Merry AND Pippin from LOTR (And Gandalf.. and Treebeard, Aragorn.. etc)

Neville from HP (No I don't think he's 'cute' just awesome)

Wonder Woman (as played in the new 2017 movie)

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
JayDee1212

Great question for sure, everyone's responses have been super interesting. I honestly wasn't even aware that people had crushes on fictional characters, kind of cool actually! For me, 90% of my crushes are on celebrities and the other 10% on real life people, I don't think I've ever had a crush on a fictional character, whether it be from a movie or book or cartoon. But who knows, maybe someday! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
dreamfae
On 6/11/2017 at 11:50 PM, Manticone said:

While I haven't really had a crush on anyone else, fictional or not, I also would very much love to have a friend similar to Spencer Reid or Newt Scamander.

Newt Scamander is a sweetheart - gentle and unassuming, with a sort of gangly charm.  He's definitely one of my fictional crushes. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Infernales
On 6/12/2017 at 2:50 PM, Manticone said:

The closest I have come to having a crush is for BBC's Sherlock. Basically, he'd be my ideal boyfriend.

 

Part of that might be because he is sort of played as possibly being ace, and part of it is just...I find him supremely interesting and a quirky character, without being overtly macho or a ''jealous'' sort of male, and those are qualities I find attractive in people. But yes, Sherlock. Sigh.

 

While I haven't really had a crush on anyone else, fictional or not, I also would very much love to have a friend similar to Spencer Reid or Newt Scamander.

 

So fictional character attractions? I get it.

BLESS REID AND NEWT. Hello. Yeah I justed wanted to add that. They're adorable geeks who are like, yes information, or yes animals. That's pretty much it. ANyways. 

 

I always considered Benedict Cumberbatch really pretty. I haven't seen much of Sherlock but I agree that he's interesting and kind of quirky.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mink_Seragaki

"Crush" seems too light of a word for when it comes to the feelings I have, and still have, regarding fictional characters.  

 

Lestat [Tom Cruise version] is a character that I have always absolutely loved.  The fact that he isn't real and, if he was, I would have no chance with him has always been a hard one for me.  He was just absolutely perfect.  I would love to say Newt Scamander is like that, but I think I like him mostly because I can highly relate to him and his struggles/wants/desires in his life.

 

Anyway, yeah, I develop "crushes" occasionally, but Lestat is a love of mine.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
humantoafault

I have recently gained some "waifus". lol My icon is the main one, then I adopted more because they're apparently like potato chips, you can't just have one. I don't really have romantic feelings for them, but I have an infatuation of something or other with them and like to joke about marrying them. Basically fictional girls I have a significant admiration or adoration for.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Zenzencat104

Only admiration.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
calc

I'm relieved to find a thread like this....

 

My experience dates back to 2006. That was the year of my first fictional crush. However, I was young and immature, so that crush was quickly replaced with another. I have always taken my feelings for fictional characters very seriously - to the point that I don't even like to consider them "fictional", just "otherworldly" or some similar term. I used to write stories in a private diary, about living my life with whatever character I was infatuated with at the time. I met my currently love (dare I say, my last?) 2 years ago, but I was only able to accept it today. With this character comes a lot of guilt, because I actually discovered the series through a friend who also had a crush.....on the same character I ended up liking, too. That friend will never know, because it would probably tear our friendship apart, so I keep it and all my feelings to myself in a private journal. At some point over the years, my feelings for characters in general have gone from just imagining myself as a character in their universe to questioning if the character I like would like me for who I am in this dimension. I often used lucid dreaming as a technique to get close to the characters I liked, (well, one character at a time - I've never liked more than one at one time) even though I was never very good at making whatever character I liked appear. The boy I like now.... I'm not comfortable saying his name out loud, but let's call him "Jake". I regret my feelings for him, because the person who got me into the series he's a part of has very deep feelings for him, so I've decided to lock my feelings for him deep within my heart. If I told my friend, our friendship would probably end. I'm also definitely the kind of person that thinks it's appropriate to leave a partner of this world for a character, and I've considered doing so. I think with each day, I get closer to making that decision, because after falling in love with "Jake", there will never be anyone else. I just feel this connection to him that I'm probably not supposed to have, and it comes with guilt, but I can't deny that I do feel for him. I acknowledged it was the truth 2 days ago - though it's been 2 years. Through that 2 years, I had lied to everyone and told them I liked another boy from the series, but I don't think I can keep up anymore. I realized the person my feelings were really directed towards and felt guilty for trying to use this other boy as a distraction, so I could deny my feelings for "Jake".  I believe that daydreams, dreams, and imagination is just as valid as the reality our physical bodies are stuck in, and the only thing that keeps me going is the idea of being placed in my ideal world after death.

 

Thoughts, opinions? Feel free to message me if you guys want.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Araminta

It would be awesome if someone created a forum for fictoromantics/sexuals and other people who fall in love/get crushes on fictional characters. Sometimes I need to talk about these kind of things, but I would like to do it with people who know what it feels like. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
calc
3 hours ago, Araminta said:

It would be awesome if someone created a forum for fictoromantics/sexuals and other people who fall in love/get crushes on fictional characters. Sometimes I need to talk about these kind of things, but I would like to do it with people who know what it feels like. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

There's a Skype group called "Love for Ficts", and it's filled with people who like/love fictional characters, usually romantically. Here's their tumblr, I think if you message them they'll add you to the Skype group. I was once part of it, but I left because it was overwhelming not talking to everyone one on one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Araminta

Oh yeah I know that tumblr, but I'm not comfortable talking with people I barely know on Skype (or even Discord), and you can only talk about a single thing at a given time. :( That's why I thought a forum would be great. Thanks though!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
calc
14 hours ago, Araminta said:

Oh yeah I know that tumblr, but I'm not comfortable talking with people I barely know on Skype (or even Discord), and you can only talk about a single thing at a given time. :( That's why I thought a forum would be great. Thanks though!

I agree, a forum would be great. It could also potentially warrant series-specific threads for discussion. Why not make a forum? There are a lot of free forum hosting sites!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Araminta

I was thinking about making one, but I'm not sure I would have the time to run it and all. :S

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Riley~~

I have fallen in love with different fictional characters, especially recently, and I would continue because it makes me happy, but every single time the game/movie/show/book ends I become really depressed and devastated to the point where I feel like I am going to break down in public.  I haven't told anyone yet and I don't know if it's because I am a teenager or if I seriously need help, but it is starting to really freak me out.  I am crying right now as I wright this, but I fully understand that the character is fictional and they don't exist and Idk what is happening to me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nylocke

This is totally the topic for me (:

 

I've had a couple of situations like this before in my life. When I had my first boyfriend that 2D complex was so strong to the point where it ended up not working out because I was too interested in fictional characters xD Granted there were many other reasons why it didn't work out but that strong 2D complex was one of them :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now