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Romantic feelings for Fictional Characters?

   84 members have voted

  1. 1. Ever had feelings for a fictional character?

    • Just physical attraction
      10
    • Just a crush
      64
    • Yes
      155
    • No, not in anyway.
      36
    • Other (Please explain?)
      30

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162 posts in this topic

On 6/6/2017 at 6:07 PM, Ashkaa said:

 I usually just just obsess over them a bit, watch/read whatever they are in, buy some merchandise, and then move on.

If only I could do this. As it is, I get sucked into the endless fandom. 

 

On 6/6/2017 at 6:07 PM, Ashkaa said:

I don't think it's too weird to have feelings for for fictional characters. The whole point of the stories are to draw you in and make you connect with the them. Although, if your feelings for these characters are becoming problematic by interfering with your life it might not be so good. It doesn't sound like it is too much of a problem yet, but maybe keep in mind that you and real people come first? I don't think picking your fictional crush over a real life crush is too bad if you are still spending time with friends and family. Mostly because it might be unfair to your irl crush to date them when you have stronger feelings for the character. I'm really not someone to take relationship advice from though. 

It has interfered, but other times it has helped. :/

Definitely the thought has crossed my mind that it is unfair to my partner, but the thing is, (a) he knows precisely how immersed in this world I am- 400 pages of novel written, and he's read most of it- and has a pretty good idea of where he fits in priority, because I'm a total space case. (b) I think that even if he believed these characters were as 'real' as I experience them, he'd still want his piece of me! Haha

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On 30.5.2017 at 11:54 PM, Malini said:

Wow, thanks for the link. Yes, this is exactly what I'm talking about. With me it's not only the characters, it's the whole worlds.

Also, I've come to a conclusion that one of the reasons for my dissatisfaction with IRL relationships is that I can't feel this special "telepathic" bond I have with the characters I love. I feel their emotions simultaneously to what I feel, but experience them separately from my own. I don't "think up" anything, it's a thing that happens naturally. This connection is very special, and relationships without this are very bland for me. I do have this thing in IRL too, with very very close people like my mother, and also with animals. But romantic-sexual IRL relationships totally lack this for me, it's like there is this black dead hole where I'm used to getting all those love transmissions. Therefore, I'm much happier with "fictional" characters who I can truly feel.

I can hear you all along. Thta's why I've become so much happier since I decided to give my fictional crush a serious chance as part of my private life. No more pain, disillusion, fights or cheating but pleasant,  smooth relaxing moments in perfect harmony. For better and worse.

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10 hours ago, WoodwindWhistler said:

it might be unfair to your irl crush to date them when you have stronger feelings for the character.

Yes, I've always thought so too. People have labelled me crazy for that, but that's what I believe in. I actually ended a relationship with a guy who was very much in love with me for this reason. I can't return his feelings, my otherworld means so much more to me, and that felt too much like using him.

Besides, my soulbond husband is extremely jealous and possessive of me. :)

 

And I can't say that "real people come first". For me, who and what I love comes first. I regard reality as multidimensional and wider than people think... that means that "characters" are real, too. In many religions and spiritual practices, such as Hinduism, the material world we live in is not considered the ultimate reality. Instead, the inner spiritual world is perceived as more "real". I have strong and loving relationships with some "IRL" people, though not many. I can function in this-world rather well, at least externally, and in fact I appear quite friendly. But my soulbonds mean the world to me, and I treat them exactly as I would "real" people.

 

5 hours ago, Deus Ex Zero said:

I can hear you all along. Thta's why I've become so much happier since I decided to give my fictional crush a serious chance as part of my private life. No more pain, disillusion, fights or cheating but pleasant,  smooth relaxing moments in perfect harmony. For better and worse.

Yes, my point exactly. It's the sort of relationship that really gives you deep, fulfilling happiness. It's a very healing experience. And this joining of souls is such a beautiful, wondrous thing. I also find a lot of "hurt/comfort" in it. Both my "fictive" husband and I find a lot of healing in our love. We are both considered "flawed" people by our worlds. Basically, these worlds tell us we have to change to ever have a chance of being loved and accepted. But our inter-world soulbonding love enables us to be loved and accepted as we are, and it's such a delicious warm feeling.

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18 hours ago, Malini said:

Yes, I've always thought so too. People have labelled me crazy for that, but that's what I believe in. I actually ended a relationship with a guy who was very much in love with me for this reason. I can't return his feelings, my otherworld means so much more to me, and that felt too much like using him.

Besides, my soulbond husband is extremely jealous and possessive of me. :)

 

And I can't say that "real people come first". For me, who and what I love comes first. I regard reality as multidimensional and wider than people think... that means that "characters" are real, too. In many religions and spiritual practices, such as Hinduism, the material world we live in is not considered the ultimate reality. Instead, the inner spiritual world is perceived as more "real". I have strong and loving relationships with some "IRL" people, though not many. I can function in this-world rather well, at least externally, and in fact I appear quite friendly. But my soulbonds mean the world to me, and I treat them exactly as I would "real" people.

 

Yes, my point exactly. It's the sort of relationship that really gives you deep, fulfilling happiness. It's a very healing experience. And this joining of souls is such a beautiful, wondrous thing. I also find a lot of "hurt/comfort" in it. Both my "fictive" husband and I find a lot of healing in our love. We are both considered "flawed" people by our worlds. Basically, these worlds tell us we have to change to ever have a chance of being loved and accepted. But our inter-world soulbonding love enables us to be loved and accepted as we are, and it's such a delicious warm feeling.

Absolutedly, but it's hard to find people who would understand these special emotional connections within, leaving aside the term of "alternate" realities itself. Those characters are real and alive in their very own way. In different worlds. Everything that comes from our mind is "real", just as long as we would think about it.

 

18 hours ago, Malini said:

it might be unfair to your irl crush to date them when you have stronger feelings for the character.

I'm technically single IRL so there's not much of a problem here right now but things might get difficult if someone else would get a crush on me.

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I've really only had crushes on fictional characters, since personally, I need to interact with someone, at least a little bit, before it evolves into romantic attraction (and that's not really possible, outside of some niche roleplaying forums I used to frequent when I was 13). But I can understand why these feelings can develop: an author or an actor or a director or an artist have a goal in telling a story to make you believe, on some subconscious level, that the stories you are reading or watching are real. Characters, ideally, should be believable as people, at least in the context of the setting that they're placed in. If the creators of the story can do their jobs right, and have you believe on some level that the stories are real and the characters are real, even if on a conscious level you know it's fiction, it's understandable that people might feel romantic feelings for those characters. After all, romantic feelings don't come from the conscious mind, but from somewhere beneath that.

 

If these feelings for fictional characters is getting in the way of your ability to have a relationship with a flesh and blood person (and you feel that it's worth it to you to try to pursue relationships with real people instead), it might be worthwhile to speak to a therapist about it. I want to stress, it's not that you're mental or anything, but working through any sort of issues of relationships or attraction with someone who understands more about the psychology of this sort of thing might help you out. If you don't feel that your attraction to fictional characters is a problem or a problem you want to solve right now. then I don't see any reason you need to do anything about it. It's not something I feel that you need to resolve unless you want to make a change about it.

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Fictional squishes-

 

The 10th Doctor Who (Or just generally David T)

Skeeter from The Help

House from House MD (Or just Hugh Laurie, generally)

Merry AND Pippin from LOTR (And Gandalf.. and Treebeard, Aragorn.. etc)

Neville from HP (No I don't think he's 'cute' just awesome)

Wonder Woman (as played in the new 2017 movie)

 

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Great question for sure, everyone's responses have been super interesting. I honestly wasn't even aware that people had crushes on fictional characters, kind of cool actually! For me, 90% of my crushes are on celebrities and the other 10% on real life people, I don't think I've ever had a crush on a fictional character, whether it be from a movie or book or cartoon. But who knows, maybe someday! 

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On 6/11/2017 at 11:50 PM, Manticone said:

While I haven't really had a crush on anyone else, fictional or not, I also would very much love to have a friend similar to Spencer Reid or Newt Scamander.

Newt Scamander is a sweetheart - gentle and unassuming, with a sort of gangly charm.  He's definitely one of my fictional crushes. 

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On 6/12/2017 at 2:50 PM, Manticone said:

The closest I have come to having a crush is for BBC's Sherlock. Basically, he'd be my ideal boyfriend.

 

Part of that might be because he is sort of played as possibly being ace, and part of it is just...I find him supremely interesting and a quirky character, without being overtly macho or a ''jealous'' sort of male, and those are qualities I find attractive in people. But yes, Sherlock. Sigh.

 

While I haven't really had a crush on anyone else, fictional or not, I also would very much love to have a friend similar to Spencer Reid or Newt Scamander.

 

So fictional character attractions? I get it.

BLESS REID AND NEWT. Hello. Yeah I justed wanted to add that. They're adorable geeks who are like, yes information, or yes animals. That's pretty much it. ANyways. 

 

I always considered Benedict Cumberbatch really pretty. I haven't seen much of Sherlock but I agree that he's interesting and kind of quirky.

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"Crush" seems too light of a word for when it comes to the feelings I have, and still have, regarding fictional characters.  

 

Lestat [Tom Cruise version] is a character that I have always absolutely loved.  The fact that he isn't real and, if he was, I would have no chance with him has always been a hard one for me.  He was just absolutely perfect.  I would love to say Newt Scamander is like that, but I think I like him mostly because I can highly relate to him and his struggles/wants/desires in his life.

 

Anyway, yeah, I develop "crushes" occasionally, but Lestat is a love of mine.

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I have recently gained some "waifus". lol My icon is the main one, then I adopted more because they're apparently like potato chips, you can't just have one. I don't really have romantic feelings for them, but I have an infatuation of something or other with them and like to joke about marrying them. Basically fictional girls I have a significant admiration or adoration for.

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Only admiration.

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