Romantic feelings for Fictional Characters?

[Nylocke]

I generally feel more for fictional characters then I do for IRL people. For me its mostly anime characters though so I just call it having a "strong 2D complex".

[Sally]

Yes, that most stereotypical crush of all, Mr. Darcy.  

[Hermit Advocate]

I'd rather listen to 13-year-olds gush about Mr. Darcy than Edward Cullen any day. 

[ninacba]

Yes, I know the feeling of loving a character a lot, and how it hurts. 

I've never talked about this to anyone, because it's so unusual and unknown to most people. Sure, my friends and stuff understand what it's like to adore a fictional character, but they don't get what kind of level I think I'm on. 

 

To begin : I've never had any romantic interest in real life. Noone ever seemed to apply to what I'd wish for, hence why it was so easy for me to obsess over a fictional character I suppose. I'm daydreaming a lot, some may even say too much, haha. I space out and imagine myself and my fictional crush in the world of that crush, doing all kind of stuff together, all different kinds of scenarios, often depending on current events in real life. ( I transfer events into 'their' world, build up a situation based on the event's / my mood's theme and daydream about it, sometimes longer, sometimes shorter ).

 

It just fills me with such a happiness that's hard to describe, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside, butterflies in my stomach and being pleased that nobody can ever 'steal' him away. That's the positive side, but there's also this negative side. I sometimes, past days more frequently, get so unbelievable sad and depressed over the fact that he doesn't exist in real life, even to a point where I start to cry because of the heartache it causes me. It makes me feel hollow, I 'miss' him and his world, those other people in that world I became such good friends with, and I often really want to transfer into it, live there, but also live in this real world. It breaks me.

 

Loving a character and their world is one thing, but I start to think that the emotional impact all that has on me is not normal anymore. On one hand I know the sad truth, they're not real, and it makes me want to curl up and cry, given how I can't think of experiencing the real world without also being in the fictional one, how I read fanfictions as if I'm actually going through this etc. etc.

I've come to the point where I seriously think crushing on some other fictional or even real person is straight forward cheating.

 

It feels like I'm relying so much on things noone should rely on, and I can't stop it. :/

[VaraMoon]

On 12/22/2016 at 4:57 AM, ninacba said:

Yes, I know the feeling of loving a character a lot, and how it hurts. 

I've never talked about this to anyone, because it's so unusual and unknown to most people. Sure, my friends and stuff understand what it's like to adore a fictional character, but they don't get what kind of level I think I'm on. 

 

To begin : I've never had any romantic interest in real life. Noone ever seemed to apply to what I'd wish for, hence why it was so easy for me to obsess over a fictional character I suppose. I'm daydreaming a lot, some may even say too much, haha. I space out and imagine myself and my fictional crush in the world of that crush, doing all kind of stuff together, all different kinds of scenarios, often depending on current events in real life. ( I transfer events into 'their' world, build up a situation based on the event's / my mood's theme and daydream about it, sometimes longer, sometimes shorter ).

 

It just fills me with such a happiness that's hard to describe, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside, butterflies in my stomach and being pleased that nobody can ever 'steal' him away. That's the positive side, but there's also this negative side. I sometimes, past days more frequently, get so unbelievable sad and depressed over the fact that he doesn't exist in real life, even to a point where I start to cry because of the heartache it causes me. It makes me feel hollow, I 'miss' him and his world, those other people in that world I became such good friends with, and I often really want to transfer into it, live there, but also live in this real world. It breaks me.

 

Loving a character and their world is one thing, but I start to think that the emotional impact all that has on me is not normal anymore. On one hand I know the sad truth, they're not real, and it makes me want to curl up and cry, given how I can't think of experiencing the real world without also being in the fictional one, how I read fanfictions as if I'm actually going through this etc. etc.

I've come to the point where I seriously think crushing on some other fictional or even real person is straight forward cheating.

 

It feels like I'm relying so much on things noone should rely on, and I can't stop it. :/

I usually feel the same way. I always daydream about one of my loves and it's fun sometimes. What I do to stop feeling a bit awkward that they are not real is to find out what I want in a guy and in a relationship be it romantic or friendship then I apply to them and something special happens. My imagination can do a lot of things and so as my brain so I can bend it however I want. Also I draw. I don't make fanfiction because I can actually see in my mind clearly of what's going on but I could give it a try someday. I'm glad you posted this. I was looking for others who feel the same and here you come along.

[Ammy-G]

I have a huge crush on Balsa From Moribito Guardian of the Spirit! She's Caring, Badass and There Is no proof that she isn't asexual.

[Ammy-G]

I just realized how sad the ladder of the reasons for liking her is...

[MarieIsEatingTacobell]

Wow, I never thought in a million years that this thread would still be getting replies. To think that when I first wrote this, I genuinely thought I was alone. I spent so many nights crying, feeling hopeless, feeling broken, because of who I loved. Now, years later, I have friends that I can relate to and see so many countless others that feel the same way. It's been such a relief to me, in a way that I could never explain, to find all of you out there. 

 

My fict blog loveforficts.tumblr.com is still up and running, if anyone is interested.

 

If anyone just wants a friend to talk to, you're more then welcome to message me for my skype. 

 

I love you all, and thank you ♥

[Fox6]

18 hours ago, ZombiesAndSlasherMovies said:

I genuinely thought I was alone.

Never heard the terms "waifu" and "husbando" huh? Some people make this their lifestyle.

[MarieIsEatingTacobell]

1 hour ago, Fox6 said:

Never heard the terms "waifu" and "husbando" huh? Some people make this their lifestyle.

 

I had but- I didn't know anything about it or the people who used it. We have a few people at my blog in that community, so I know a bit more about it now.

[Florenna]

My teenage daughter is currently in love with Jack Frost, from the computer-animated movie Rise of the Guardians  I admit I did think that was a little bit weird, but now I see it's not that uncommon...

 

Oh, and I was myself madly in love with Robin Hood of the BBC series Robin of Sherwood when I was 14   (played by Michael Praed). I still kind of think that character as the romantic ideal male...

[Crystal7]

Yes, Edward Cullen.

[Sherlocks]

Well I would hug John Watson from Sherlock(I want so bad to hug John in his dorky sweater)

I would totally be Sherlocks Bestie

I would so worship and Marry Penguin from Gotham 

Jerome from Gotham is hot as hell I want to watch him do a strip tease and god does he look hot in a cop outfit

Hilly and Holly video made me want to bone Jack Sparrow so hard

I would be companion to 10th Doctor 

I know there's not a lot of romantic in there

Also thanks to fanart I kind of curious to see Sherlock in drag(I bet he would still look good)

 

[wilhelmina23]

I am suffering from this, and it's so strange and embarrassing! I was surfing Tumblr, feeling emotional to the point of literal tears this evening. Why? Because a fictional character that I have been attached to for many years (more of a squish than a romantic crush) has been improved and re-developed. In a good way, but also a way that makes me feel like they wouldn't like or love someone like me, because the person they are in love with 'in canon' is completely unlike me in every single way imaginable.

Is this crazy?  I have a strange interest in fictional book and movie characters, and yes, I have written about them and wanted to almost live in their 'worlds.'

 

 

[SamwiseLovesLife]

On 18/07/2015 at 11:36 PM, Anthracite_Impreza said:

I haven't had romantic feelings for a character (aromantic), but I have had squishes, long lasting ones that are more intense than any I've ever had for a person .__. The characters I like aren't exactly mainstream either, so I get what you mean with the whole "I can't tell anyone without looking like a freak thing"!

Don't worry, you're not alone with your freakiness

Yes! Completely agree here. I brush feelings towards fictional characters off as irrational and childish, but maybe this is unfair to myself. Thinking about how I feel in more detail though I would also say these are squishes, not crushes. I imagine them in real life and I would not like them to be inlove with or date me. I just want them to be a close friend, to share their fears/dreams/thoughts with me, maybe even snuggle #noromo

[Anthracite_Impreza]

1 hour ago, AmberLovesLife said:

Yes! Completely agree here. I brush feelings towards fictional characters off as irrational and childish, but maybe this is unfair to myself. Thinking about how I feel in more detail though I would also say these are squishes, not crushes. I imagine them in real life and I would not like them to be inlove with or date me. I just want them to be a close friend, to share their fears/dreams/thoughts with me, maybe even snuggle #noromo
This also confuses me as I identify as homoromantic, so I would have thought romance would be an option too. Attraction is compliated

Jeez, blast from the past ._. I've grown from those days, I'm no longer afraid to tell anyone my squishes are about 95% vehicles, 4% supernaturals and 1% Daryl Dixon

[SamwiseLovesLife]

4 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Jeez, blast from the past ._. I've grown from those days, I'm no longer afraid to tell anyone my squishes are about 95% vehicles, 4% supernaturals and 1% Daryl Dixon

*Obviously lurking in old threads* Yeah makes sense. Daryl Dixon is a total squish for me I haven't 'fangirled' or obsessed over a fictional character in a long time now but having strong squish-y feelings yes

[wilhelmina23]

I hate this!

 

Now my love for a fictional character is morphing to a HUGE celebrity crush on the actor who plays him!

 

I follow this actor on Twitter, and everytime he posts something really mundane and ordinary, or links an interesting article that I wouldn't have read otherwise, I have to "like" it. He's witty and funny and too adorable for words. He is married in real life, though his wife is not in the public eye. I wish I were his wife  And I'm married myself, to a guy who does not resemble this actor in ANY way (except maybe eye color) so I can't even fantasize like I used to with my old celebrity and character crushes.

Does anyone else feel like this? For example, if you are in love with Iron Man as a character, would you be more turned on if you tried to get your husband to wear an Iron Man costume?

At least I can try to concentrate on the fictional character, who is the one I truly adore. He's someone I wouldn't be able to have a romantic relationship with (for reasons!) but I (in the role of another character in an RP on Tumblr for example) can be all motherly and nurturing and bake him cookies and make him tea and stuff.  

[malickathetato]

I don't think I've ever had feelings for any fictional character as far as wanting to be with them. Growing up I've never really had many friends, so I always saw them as my friends or my best friends. I know it sounds sad, but I would have these fantasies about hanging out with them or these dreams where we would be the best of friends. We would hang out, eat food and laugh together. My favorite fictional characters are always my friends or "family". Nothing more.

[Yinlotus93]

Yes. Definitely have. I can look back fondly on some of my early fictional crushes even now. They really helped me to find what felt right personality wise and figure out what kind of person I'd be interested in if he ever showed up. Also, they helped me really understand 'how' I become attracted when I was still trying to figure myself out growing up. At one point I did end up in love. Was hard, and painful going thru that unrequited love stuff at the time (was pretty young), but wouldn't change that it happened. (eventually ended in heartbreak in the end when he 'died') I'd like to have someone to feel something special for irl one day. Even if it doesn't happen, it was nice to feel that way for someone who is genuinely decent at least once.

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

On 18.7.2015 at 5:12 AM, ZombiesAndSlasherMovies said:

Hi everyone. Buckle up, this is going to be a long one.

I identify as both Pansexual and Demisexual, as well as Panromantic and Demiromantic. I've had a few real life long term relationships, I've had real sex, and I've been in love with real people. In my identity I have no doubt, but I've had this growing concern to do with Fictional Characters.

Ever since I was a kid, I've had feelings for fictional characters. Pretty basic for people to crush on fictional characters, so I hadn't thought anything of it for most of my life. I've come to realize that I experience and process romantic feelings for fictional characters the exact same way I process them for real people. Again, not really a big deal I suppose. I don't find fictional characters attractive or have feelings for them, only after becoming attached to their personality, but it's to the degree that I become attached that makes me uncomfortable. I've only ever told one person about this, but I genuinely fall in love with these people that aren't real. For long periods at a time, like real long term relationships. I find myself emotionally "monogamous" (if you can even call it that) with these fictional people, not being able to "love" more then one at a time. Any time I was in a real life relationship, since I was in love with my partner, I didn't have this problem with fictional characters, and I'm starting to believe the opposite is true as well. That I can't love a real person as long as I'm in love with a fictional person.

My last real life relationship was 4 years or so ago. I haven't been with anyone real since. 3 1/2 years ago I fell in love with a particular fictional character. Sometime in those 3 years, as much as I was upset about admitting it, I came to find that, I hadn't been single all this time because I'm demi and hadn't developed feelings for anyone in my life. It was because I was already in love with someone, and felt like I was taken. Being in love with him didn't get in the way of my real life at all. I went to work, I hung out with friends, spent time with my family, anything anyone else does. I suffer from depression and anxiety, but I don't suffer from anything that disconnects me from reality? I know he isn't real. I didn't get possessive or upset when other's express attraction to him, or for any other character I'm attached to for that matter. (I actually quite enjoy speaking to other people who feel strongly about characters I have feelings for). I know that the actor that plays him is only that, an actor- but I still loved him, even fully understanding he's not real. I still care about him very much. I took joy in finding little ways of connecting with the idea of him, like regularly wearing a necklace identical to one he does for example. I always fantasized about what kind of relationship we'd have if I was in his reality (and if I was the person I'd ideally want to be both physically and lifestyle wise, because well, it's my fantasy, haha.) in depth and detail. I'd sometimes become deeply upset that I could never be with him or even touch him. This wasn't the first time I loved a character, but it certainly was the first time it had hit me so hard. Where I really went to bed at night upset that I couldn't be laying next to him.

Okay, where I am today. Again, I do still care about him very much but it's not like before. If he were real he'd probably be that ex that I was still friends with and would protect with my life, sometimes wonder if I still actively love. My feelings for him changed around last December. All year this year I've continued to be without relationship but now- uh oh. Here comes another character. I'm not going to say I love her like I loved him. I've only been familiar with her for a few months, and I haven't spent as much "time with her" as I had with him when I realized I loved him. I do have those "honey moon", new relationship, feelings for her though. Like, I'm "getting to know her" and it could lead to the "relationship" I had with him.

My feelings are occurring now at a time where I know that this is a thing that happens to me. It's just- a thing, but I hate it. Not because I love fake people, no, because I feel completely alone in it. I feel like I can't say anything about it because I sound like I'm mental. Even writing this is horrifying. Even scarier, I had the thought last night "I wish I could openly call her my girlfriend". It's official. I'm a fucking weirdo. There it is. I can't deny it AT ALL to myself anymore, only hide it. I don't want to like, go on facebook, tick the "in a relationship" box, and scream to everyone "I love this girl!" because lmfao, god knows that would NEVER be an acceptable thing to do. I do wish I had somewhere, or at least one person I could feel comfortable enough talking to about this. To be able to refer to her as my girlfriend to someone without feeling like I'm being seen as a psycho. I've tried looking for others who have the same relationships with fictional characters that I do, but 99% of anyone that says "I love (such and such) so much!" is joking or purposely exaggerating (I guess fangirling would be the way to put it). The one person I told said she was okay with it, but she also said that it was because I haven't "met the right person" yet and am just latching onto these "people" because they're perfect and unrealistic. I can assure you, ha, none of the characters I've ever had feelings for were the mary sue, perfect pants type. It's always the realistically flawed ones, because I guess they mimic someone you could actually potentially meet and it blurs that barrier in my head that says "no you can't love something that doesn't exist silly, lol". I don't know, she wasn't understanding how serious I was being, I suppose.

The very few posts I've found online from people who've said they also fall in love with fictional people, interestingly enough, identified as asexual. I wonder if that has anything to do with it? I don't know, I guess I'm just looking for someone to assure me that I'm not mental, and that there are people out there who understand. If anything, people don't judge me for it. Also, curious, is there a word for this type of attraction? It's not just romantic, it's sexual as well?

Okay okay, that's basically it. Sorry for the essay.

I'm just SO happy that you found the guts to share and open yourself up on this cuz' it's almost exactly the same with me and it feels just so good to not be alone with this thing. I only had two RL relationships in my life. Aside from that I've always been in love with fictional movie or animation characters but I never had the right word for it until I found "fictoromantic"  sites on the web last year and it was just like 'OMG - that's ME!' It may sound weird or crazy but I'm finally able to accept my emotions on this. I still think about my RL ex but if someone would come up to ask me about a relationship right now I'd definitedly raise up a sign saying " Happily Taken" since I fell in love with a fictional character in October 2016 and I'm totally ready to get into it this time. I have a massive collection of pictures, clips, PC games, music, cloths and other related stuff of him and his voice or photographs is all I really need to send me over the edge. I also created a matching online character for myself, to be included in some of my fan fiction stories or paintings. I have a very  strong  and vivid imagination so every night's a "firework" - depending on my mood and physical condition. 

 

I'm still open for a RL relationship but I don't think that I'll ever meet someone who could top the features of this character to make me fall. Many demiromatic aces would need a very long time to build up a deep emotional connection to someone else and I'm no exclusion on that either.

[RK800]

A large chunk of my fictional squishes are robots/mechanical beings. The personality cores from Portal and Portal 2 are just absolutely irresistible.  

As far as humans go I tend to have rather poor tastes.

[Antihero.]

.

 

[Rhaenys]

I do have an attraction for Leon S Kennedy from Resident Evil and Eric Northman from True Blood but it's hard to explain. Like it's not me having a crush, I tend to use them more as muses.

 

[Malini]

So happy to find your thread.

I've been in love with "fictional characters" all my life, and it is something very precious to me. I'm 31, I've had IRL relationships too, but mostly they made me miserable. (I have a word for them - relationshiTs. ) I can't even begin to describe how much happier ficto-relationships make me feel.

I strongly believe in multidimensional reality. I think that to narrow the world only to what we can physically touch is an absolute mistake. We can't "touch" love, or happiness, or God. In fact, all religion, spiritual and magical practices, and creative people do what we fictoromantics do - interact with a world beyond conventional reality!

The characters I love are absolutely real to me. I can feel them, I interact with them, I get transported into their worlds and live out our stories there, and I let them perceive my world if they feel like it. I have this sort of Quest in this life... Those I love are always the villains. So, I save them and help them.

I am very very much in love with my "fictional-character" irresistible-villain husband. We share a very happy relationship together.

I know by experience that you can develop relationships with "fictional" characters just as you would with IRL people. It WORKS. If you treat them as real, they become more and more real. I don't care that other people on this plane of reality can't see my beloved, it's enough that I do. We have conversations, we comfort each other when we have problems with relatives, we have fun. We make love. I know that this wonderful forum is technically called Asexual... but my relationship is anything but. *blush* I feel him just as real as I would a man in IRL, and in fact it's much better, I have much more pleasure. Also, there are those amazing little things you start to notice. For example, your loved one tells you he will take care of you... and surprising things start to happen if you only believe in it. For example, in his world, he has this wonderful palace-house in his world. And then, in IRL, I'm suddenly offered a holiday in a little hotel that looks very much like our home in that other world, complete to the upholstery.

Moreover, I find that such relationships can bring you a lot more personal fulfillment and joy that typical IRL relationshiTs. I have recently signed a contract with a publisher for a story I wrote about one of such my relationships. I am learning my husband's native language. I am feeling very happy.

I'm overjoyed of finding such a place of like-minded people who wouldn't consider me crazy. I'm very much looking forward to find others who share such magical love!

[WoodwindWhistler]

I wonder if any of you have experienced this? 

http://www.soulbonding.org/app.php/page/about?sid=3462b93d4f19cb9a33792e46fe76a9c8

You might also be interested in the study of "parasocial" relationships (note: this does not paint this as a bad thing):
 

 

[Malini]

Wow, thanks for the link. Yes, this is exactly what I'm talking about. With me it's not only the characters, it's the whole worlds.

Also, I've come to a conclusion that one of the reasons for my dissatisfaction with IRL relationships is that I can't feel this special "telepathic" bond I have with the characters I love. I feel their emotions simultaneously to what I feel, but experience them separately from my own. I don't "think up" anything, it's a thing that happens naturally. This connection is very special, and relationships without this are very bland for me. I do have this thing in IRL too, with very very close people like my mother, and also with animals. But romantic-sexual IRL relationships totally lack this for me, it's like there is this black dead hole where I'm used to getting all those love transmissions. Therefore, I'm much happier with "fictional" characters who I can truly feel.

[Ashkaa]

I've had feelings for characters, although I am not sure I would call them romantic per say. (Definitely not sexual.) It's more like how I feel with close friends or pets. I want them to be happy, and to support them, but I wouldn't be particularly interested in being with them myself. I usually just just obsess over them a bit, watch/read whatever they are in, buy some merchandise, and then move on. Relationships really aren't my thing though. I don't get overly attached, to real or fictional characters. 

 

I don't think it's too weird to have feelings for for fictional characters. The whole point of the stories are to draw you in and make you connect with the them. Although, if your feelings for these characters are becoming problematic by interfering with your life it might not be so good. It doesn't sound like it is too much of a problem yet, but maybe keep in mind that you and real people come first? I don't think picking your fictional crush over a real life crush is too bad if you are still spending time with friends and family. Mostly because it might be unfair to your irl crush to date them when you have stronger feelings for the character. I'm really not someone to take relationship advice from though. 

[Infernales]

Okay so, I love my fictional characters. They're my best friends, family and a sort of non-sexual, non-pining for romantic relationship lover. 

 

I love them as I'd love my best friend, or myself. Because they're part of me. So they're best friends, family, a home away from home, a retreat and lovers. Because they're there. 

 

Does that make sense?

[Manticone]

The closest I have come to having a crush is for BBC's Sherlock. Basically, he'd be my ideal boyfriend.

 

Part of that might be because he is sort of played as possibly being ace, and part of it is just...I find him supremely interesting and a quirky character, without being overtly macho or a ''jealous'' sort of male, and those are qualities I find attractive in people. But yes, Sherlock. Sigh.

 

While I haven't really had a crush on anyone else, fictional or not, I also would very much love to have a friend similar to Spencer Reid or Newt Scamander.

 

So fictional character attractions? I get it.