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Romantic feelings for Fictional Characters?


MarieIsEatingTacobell

  

205 members have voted

  1. 1. Ever had feelings for a fictional character?

    • Just physical attraction
      18
    • Just a crush
      88
    • Yes
      216
    • No, not in anyway.
      50
    • Other (Please explain?)
      44


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WoodwindWhistler
On 6/6/2017 at 6:07 PM, Ashkaa said:

 I usually just just obsess over them a bit, watch/read whatever they are in, buy some merchandise, and then move on.

If only I could do this. As it is, I get sucked into the endless fandom. 

 

On 6/6/2017 at 6:07 PM, Ashkaa said:

I don't think it's too weird to have feelings for for fictional characters. The whole point of the stories are to draw you in and make you connect with the them. Although, if your feelings for these characters are becoming problematic by interfering with your life it might not be so good. It doesn't sound like it is too much of a problem yet, but maybe keep in mind that you and real people come first? I don't think picking your fictional crush over a real life crush is too bad if you are still spending time with friends and family. Mostly because it might be unfair to your irl crush to date them when you have stronger feelings for the character. I'm really not someone to take relationship advice from though. 

It has interfered, but other times it has helped. :/

Definitely the thought has crossed my mind that it is unfair to my partner, but the thing is, (a) he knows precisely how immersed in this world I am- 400 pages of novel written, and he's read most of it- and has a pretty good idea of where he fits in priority, because I'm a total space case. (b) I think that even if he believed these characters were as 'real' as I experience them, he'd still want his piece of me! Haha

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Guest Deus Ex Infinity
On 30.5.2017 at 11:54 PM, Malini said:

Wow, thanks for the link. Yes, this is exactly what I'm talking about. With me it's not only the characters, it's the whole worlds.

Also, I've come to a conclusion that one of the reasons for my dissatisfaction with IRL relationships is that I can't feel this special "telepathic" bond I have with the characters I love. I feel their emotions simultaneously to what I feel, but experience them separately from my own. I don't "think up" anything, it's a thing that happens naturally. This connection is very special, and relationships without this are very bland for me. I do have this thing in IRL too, with very very close people like my mother, and also with animals. But romantic-sexual IRL relationships totally lack this for me, it's like there is this black dead hole where I'm used to getting all those love transmissions. Therefore, I'm much happier with "fictional" characters who I can truly feel.

I can hear you all along. Thta's why I've become so much happier since I decided to give my fictional crush a serious chance as part of my private life. No more pain, disillusion, fights or cheating but pleasant,  smooth relaxing moments in perfect harmony. For better and worse.

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10 hours ago, WoodwindWhistler said:

it might be unfair to your irl crush to date them when you have stronger feelings for the character.

Yes, I've always thought so too. People have labelled me crazy for that, but that's what I believe in. I actually ended a relationship with a guy who was very much in love with me for this reason. I can't return his feelings, my otherworld means so much more to me, and that felt too much like using him.

Besides, my soulbond husband is extremely jealous and possessive of me. :)

 

And I can't say that "real people come first". For me, who and what I love comes first. I regard reality as multidimensional and wider than people think... that means that "characters" are real, too. In many religions and spiritual practices, such as Hinduism, the material world we live in is not considered the ultimate reality. Instead, the inner spiritual world is perceived as more "real". I have strong and loving relationships with some "IRL" people, though not many. I can function in this-world rather well, at least externally, and in fact I appear quite friendly. But my soulbonds mean the world to me, and I treat them exactly as I would "real" people.

 

5 hours ago, Deus Ex Zero said:

I can hear you all along. Thta's why I've become so much happier since I decided to give my fictional crush a serious chance as part of my private life. No more pain, disillusion, fights or cheating but pleasant,  smooth relaxing moments in perfect harmony. For better and worse.

Yes, my point exactly. It's the sort of relationship that really gives you deep, fulfilling happiness. It's a very healing experience. And this joining of souls is such a beautiful, wondrous thing. I also find a lot of "hurt/comfort" in it. Both my "fictive" husband and I find a lot of healing in our love. We are both considered "flawed" people by our worlds. Basically, these worlds tell us we have to change to ever have a chance of being loved and accepted. But our inter-world soulbonding love enables us to be loved and accepted as we are, and it's such a delicious warm feeling.

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Guest Deus Ex Infinity
18 hours ago, Malini said:

Yes, I've always thought so too. People have labelled me crazy for that, but that's what I believe in. I actually ended a relationship with a guy who was very much in love with me for this reason. I can't return his feelings, my otherworld means so much more to me, and that felt too much like using him.

Besides, my soulbond husband is extremely jealous and possessive of me. :)

 

And I can't say that "real people come first". For me, who and what I love comes first. I regard reality as multidimensional and wider than people think... that means that "characters" are real, too. In many religions and spiritual practices, such as Hinduism, the material world we live in is not considered the ultimate reality. Instead, the inner spiritual world is perceived as more "real". I have strong and loving relationships with some "IRL" people, though not many. I can function in this-world rather well, at least externally, and in fact I appear quite friendly. But my soulbonds mean the world to me, and I treat them exactly as I would "real" people.

 

Yes, my point exactly. It's the sort of relationship that really gives you deep, fulfilling happiness. It's a very healing experience. And this joining of souls is such a beautiful, wondrous thing. I also find a lot of "hurt/comfort" in it. Both my "fictive" husband and I find a lot of healing in our love. We are both considered "flawed" people by our worlds. Basically, these worlds tell us we have to change to ever have a chance of being loved and accepted. But our inter-world soulbonding love enables us to be loved and accepted as we are, and it's such a delicious warm feeling.

Absolutedly, but it's hard to find people who would understand these special emotional connections within, leaving aside the term of "alternate" realities itself. Those characters are real and alive in their very own way. In different worlds. Everything that comes from our mind is "real", just as long as we would think about it.

 

18 hours ago, Malini said:

it might be unfair to your irl crush to date them when you have stronger feelings for the character.

I'm technically single IRL so there's not much of a problem here right now but things might get difficult if someone else would get a crush on me.

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I've really only had crushes on fictional characters, since personally, I need to interact with someone, at least a little bit, before it evolves into romantic attraction (and that's not really possible, outside of some niche roleplaying forums I used to frequent when I was 13). But I can understand why these feelings can develop: an author or an actor or a director or an artist have a goal in telling a story to make you believe, on some subconscious level, that the stories you are reading or watching are real. Characters, ideally, should be believable as people, at least in the context of the setting that they're placed in. If the creators of the story can do their jobs right, and have you believe on some level that the stories are real and the characters are real, even if on a conscious level you know it's fiction, it's understandable that people might feel romantic feelings for those characters. After all, romantic feelings don't come from the conscious mind, but from somewhere beneath that.

 

If these feelings for fictional characters is getting in the way of your ability to have a relationship with a flesh and blood person (and you feel that it's worth it to you to try to pursue relationships with real people instead), it might be worthwhile to speak to a therapist about it. I want to stress, it's not that you're mental or anything, but working through any sort of issues of relationships or attraction with someone who understands more about the psychology of this sort of thing might help you out. If you don't feel that your attraction to fictional characters is a problem or a problem you want to solve right now. then I don't see any reason you need to do anything about it. It's not something I feel that you need to resolve unless you want to make a change about it.

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SamwiseLovesLife

Fictional squishes-

 

The 10th Doctor Who (Or just generally David T)

Skeeter from The Help

House from House MD (Or just Hugh Laurie, generally)

Merry AND Pippin from LOTR (And Gandalf.. and Treebeard, Aragorn.. etc)

Neville from HP (No I don't think he's 'cute' just awesome)

Wonder Woman (as played in the new 2017 movie)

 

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Great question for sure, everyone's responses have been super interesting. I honestly wasn't even aware that people had crushes on fictional characters, kind of cool actually! For me, 90% of my crushes are on celebrities and the other 10% on real life people, I don't think I've ever had a crush on a fictional character, whether it be from a movie or book or cartoon. But who knows, maybe someday! 

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On 6/11/2017 at 11:50 PM, Manticone said:

While I haven't really had a crush on anyone else, fictional or not, I also would very much love to have a friend similar to Spencer Reid or Newt Scamander.

Newt Scamander is a sweetheart - gentle and unassuming, with a sort of gangly charm.  He's definitely one of my fictional crushes. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
Infernales
On 6/12/2017 at 2:50 PM, Manticone said:

The closest I have come to having a crush is for BBC's Sherlock. Basically, he'd be my ideal boyfriend.

 

Part of that might be because he is sort of played as possibly being ace, and part of it is just...I find him supremely interesting and a quirky character, without being overtly macho or a ''jealous'' sort of male, and those are qualities I find attractive in people. But yes, Sherlock. Sigh.

 

While I haven't really had a crush on anyone else, fictional or not, I also would very much love to have a friend similar to Spencer Reid or Newt Scamander.

 

So fictional character attractions? I get it.

BLESS REID AND NEWT. Hello. Yeah I justed wanted to add that. They're adorable geeks who are like, yes information, or yes animals. That's pretty much it. ANyways. 

 

I always considered Benedict Cumberbatch really pretty. I haven't seen much of Sherlock but I agree that he's interesting and kind of quirky.

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Digs_Dead_People

"Crush" seems too light of a word for when it comes to the feelings I have, and still have, regarding fictional characters.  

 

Lestat [Tom Cruise version] is a character that I have always absolutely loved.  The fact that he isn't real and, if he was, I would have no chance with him has always been a hard one for me.  He was just absolutely perfect.  I would love to say Newt Scamander is like that, but I think I like him mostly because I can highly relate to him and his struggles/wants/desires in his life.

 

Anyway, yeah, I develop "crushes" occasionally, but Lestat is a love of mine.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have recently gained some "waifus". lol My icon is the main one, then I adopted more because they're apparently like potato chips, you can't just have one. I don't really have romantic feelings for them, but I have an infatuation of something or other with them and like to joke about marrying them. Basically fictional girls I have a significant admiration or adoration for.

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  • 1 month later...

I'm relieved to find a thread like this....

 

My experience dates back to 2006. That was the year of my first fictional crush. However, I was young and immature, so that crush was quickly replaced with another. I have always taken my feelings for fictional characters very seriously - to the point that I don't even like to consider them "fictional", just "otherworldly" or some similar term. I used to write stories in a private diary, about living my life with whatever character I was infatuated with at the time. I met my currently love (dare I say, my last?) 2 years ago, but I was only able to accept it today. With this character comes a lot of guilt, because I actually discovered the series through a friend who also had a crush.....on the same character I ended up liking, too. That friend will never know, because it would probably tear our friendship apart, so I keep it and all my feelings to myself in a private journal. At some point over the years, my feelings for characters in general have gone from just imagining myself as a character in their universe to questioning if the character I like would like me for who I am in this dimension. I often used lucid dreaming as a technique to get close to the characters I liked, (well, one character at a time - I've never liked more than one at one time) even though I was never very good at making whatever character I liked appear. The boy I like now.... I'm not comfortable saying his name out loud, but let's call him "Jake". I regret my feelings for him, because the person who got me into the series he's a part of has very deep feelings for him, so I've decided to lock my feelings for him deep within my heart. If I told my friend, our friendship would probably end. I'm also definitely the kind of person that thinks it's appropriate to leave a partner of this world for a character, and I've considered doing so. I think with each day, I get closer to making that decision, because after falling in love with "Jake", there will never be anyone else. I just feel this connection to him that I'm probably not supposed to have, and it comes with guilt, but I can't deny that I do feel for him. I acknowledged it was the truth 2 days ago - though it's been 2 years. Through that 2 years, I had lied to everyone and told them I liked another boy from the series, but I don't think I can keep up anymore. I realized the person my feelings were really directed towards and felt guilty for trying to use this other boy as a distraction, so I could deny my feelings for "Jake".  I believe that daydreams, dreams, and imagination is just as valid as the reality our physical bodies are stuck in, and the only thing that keeps me going is the idea of being placed in my ideal world after death.

 

Thoughts, opinions? Feel free to message me if you guys want.

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It would be awesome if someone created a forum for fictoromantics/sexuals and other people who fall in love/get crushes on fictional characters. Sometimes I need to talk about these kind of things, but I would like to do it with people who know what it feels like. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

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3 hours ago, Araminta said:

It would be awesome if someone created a forum for fictoromantics/sexuals and other people who fall in love/get crushes on fictional characters. Sometimes I need to talk about these kind of things, but I would like to do it with people who know what it feels like. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

There's a Skype group called "Love for Ficts", and it's filled with people who like/love fictional characters, usually romantically. Here's their tumblr, I think if you message them they'll add you to the Skype group. I was once part of it, but I left because it was overwhelming not talking to everyone one on one.

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Oh yeah I know that tumblr, but I'm not comfortable talking with people I barely know on Skype (or even Discord), and you can only talk about a single thing at a given time. :( That's why I thought a forum would be great. Thanks though!

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14 hours ago, Araminta said:

Oh yeah I know that tumblr, but I'm not comfortable talking with people I barely know on Skype (or even Discord), and you can only talk about a single thing at a given time. :( That's why I thought a forum would be great. Thanks though!

I agree, a forum would be great. It could also potentially warrant series-specific threads for discussion. Why not make a forum? There are a lot of free forum hosting sites!

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I was thinking about making one, but I'm not sure I would have the time to run it and all. :S

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  • 3 months later...

I have fallen in love with different fictional characters, especially recently, and I would continue because it makes me happy, but every single time the game/movie/show/book ends I become really depressed and devastated to the point where I feel like I am going to break down in public.  I haven't told anyone yet and I don't know if it's because I am a teenager or if I seriously need help, but it is starting to really freak me out.  I am crying right now as I wright this, but I fully understand that the character is fictional and they don't exist and Idk what is happening to me.

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  • 3 weeks later...

This is totally the topic for me (:

 

I've had a couple of situations like this before in my life. When I had my first boyfriend that 2D complex was so strong to the point where it ended up not working out because I was too interested in fictional characters xD Granted there were many other reasons why it didn't work out but that strong 2D complex was one of them :P

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itsmeelysemarie
On 9/9/2017 at 11:38 AM, Araminta said:

It would be awesome if someone created a forum for fictoromantics/sexuals and other people who fall in love/get crushes on fictional characters. Sometimes I need to talk about these kind of things, but I would like to do it with people who know what it feels like. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

If there was a similar group for people who only fall in love with/get crushes on celebrities (is that even a thing?) I'd totally join.

 

...but as I've also had the same thing happen with fictional characters, maybe I should look into that tumblr.

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These characters...whether from an anime or a movie or a book are created with the utmost care and study. They just don't prop up like that.

Real life people come across as boring and not-upto-the-mark comparatively hence and many people have crushes on fantasy characters. Not a surprise.

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spacehawk.jpg
2 hours ago, MaxAmoeba said:

These characters...whether from an anime or a movie or a book are created with the utmost care and study. They just don't prop up like that.

Real life people come across as boring and not-upto-the-mark comparatively hence and many people have crushes on fantasy characters. Not a surprise.

Exactly! 
What confuses me the most is that I'm aro but I'm so NOT aro when it comes to fictional characters. Like I legit have feelings for them that I do not experience in real life. That's why for the longest time I though I'm romantically attracted to androgynous people, but they're ONLY fictional. :huh:

 

On 29.12.2017 at 6:39 AM, Riley~~ said:

I have fallen in love with different fictional characters, especially recently, and I would continue because it makes me happy, but every single time the game/movie/show/book ends I become really depressed and devastated to the point where I feel like I am going to break down in public.  I haven't told anyone yet and I don't know if it's because I am a teenager or if I seriously need help, but it is starting to really freak me out.  I am crying right now as I wright this, but I fully understand that the character is fictional and they don't exist and Idk what is happening to me.

same here! It's been like this since I was a child, I'm 21 now. People say I'm too passionate but this is more than passion, those are real feelings and it's SO confusing

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Oh god, I can't help but feel extremely happy just by seeing this topic !! I relate to this on a deep level !

 

Fictoromantic ? You bet I am.Since i'm a kid, I used to crush on various fictional characters.

I had a lot of crushes, and the weirdest ones were during my teen years (come on...Having romantic feelings for Freddy Krueger ? I did it.).

 

I didn't really showed interest toward real people.I was mostly introverted, I loved to escape in those fictional worlds.

 

And a year ago, I think those small romantic feelings became truly serious.

This time, I slowly fell in love with my own characters, my most precious ones.

They're just fictional characters, but damn, I gotta tell you, they "helped" me.I drew them, I brought them to life, I brought their world to life.I gave them a deeper story, a true meaning.This time, I was telling myself "Okay, you know what ? Forget what others say, this world is yours."

I'm aware that they're not real...But you know, it's like...You know they're not real, but in your heart, they are.

 

I will say it here, I slowly accepted those feelings...This time, I wanted to be happy, I did self-insert (silly or serious), drawings, wrote stories, made playlists for those characters...basically everything.This world, those characters...It helped me deal with emotional trauma (and it still does), it gave me back what I lost.This time, I did things for myself, I was FREE.FINALLY.I wasn't controlled and judged anymore, I was free to create my world, I was free to love my own characters.I was free to feel happy because of it.

 

And to this day...I still love them, for real.I know those feelings are real.

 

Sometimes, I still feel guilt and shame, I sometimes think I'm crazy, insane, or not a true aromantic, but I know that, someday, I'll accept myself.I'll accept entirely those feelings I have towards fictional characters, I will accept what I am.

 

 

 

 

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NotGojoSatoru

I used to admire quite a few fictional characters, had liked them. But then I ended up watching that one anime, and I believe I am in love. It is either that or I would really love to just stare at his face for a long duration of time, and talk to him and cuddle him, and cosplay as him (if I ever got around to cosplaying someone), which is basically loving him (for me that is).

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questioningmyself

Absolutely! You are not alone! I crushed and wrote crappy fanfics about Edmund Pevensie and Peter Pevensie throughout my childhood. That was then followed by Ninja Turtles, the Artful Dodger, Transformers (sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Jazz), the Originals/The Vampire Diaries, Supernatural, punk bands, 1d, Harry Potter, EXO, and BTS and many more book characters. Trust me, it's a real thing. At first I thought the reason why I didn't feel comfortable or want to date people is that I held the fictional characters in movies/books on a pedestal or held people up to ideals that they could  never live up to. I found out though, that this is what I like to do and I don't think I could have a real relationship.

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WoodwindWhistler

If you all are worried about getting too wrapped up in fictional characters, I think it's only really a problem if it interferes with your ability to form meaningful platonic relationships. 

Do you seek out nerd and fan spaces to connect with people who share your enthusiasm? 

 

On 1/19/2018 at 6:26 AM, MaxAmoeba said:

These characters...whether from an anime or a movie or a book are created with the utmost care and study. They just don't prop up like that.

Real life people come across as boring and not-upto-the-mark comparatively hence and many people have crushes on fantasy characters. Not a surprise.

Really? I think of fictional characters as easier to wrap your mind around than real people. With real people, spouses can learn new things about the other after decades of being together. There are memory distortions of events to detangle, plus the walls that people put up around themselves to peel back. And they are not as constrained by 'character traits' that an author is writing deliberately. A real-life plot twist is when someone you thought you knew suddenly breaks the 'characterization' you had of them. With characters, you know EVERYTHING about them- backstory, what they have done, what they think, is usually all wrapped up in canon. This general impression was really driven home with A. J. Jacob's book recounting of reading the entire Encyclopedia Britannica (someone hand that man a nerd medal, stat). History is littered with outrageous and weird people that really breathe to life the old saying "truth is stranger than fiction." Plus, he gave voice to his own complex psychological twists and turns. Memoirs and autobiographies give a level of detail and anecdotes that cannot be expressed in a movie crammed into a few hours or a TV episode that has to be crammed into 30 minutes. They're fun that way. 

Do you really think say, the people who give TED Talks are "boring"? There are people like that all over in real life. You just can't hang out at your typical bar or social spot to find them. Networking events, volunteer organizations, free university seminars, or quirky interest groups/clubs are a good place to start. 


That's the nice thing about fiction, and what makes it a great escape. It's neat and tidy. You can encompass it completely. It is simpler than real life, both at a macroscopic scale (good guys, bad guys, exposition, politics) and a microscopic (individual character) scale. It gives the mind a break from the deluge of complexity that's only becoming higher pitched with the internet of information available. 

 

On 12/29/2017 at 12:39 AM, Riley~~ said:

I have fallen in love with different fictional characters, especially recently, and I would continue because it makes me happy, but every single time the game/movie/show/book ends I become really depressed and devastated to the point where I feel like I am going to break down in public.  I haven't told anyone yet and I don't know if it's because I am a teenager or if I seriously need help, but it is starting to really freak me out.  I am crying right now as I wright this, but I fully understand that the character is fictional and they don't exist and Idk what is happening to me.

Do go seek therapy. ANYTHING that caused you to nearly break down and send you into bouts of depression would benefit from therapy and examining yourself- fiction or not has nothing to do with it. There's nothing wrong with seeking help. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

If it can be useful, I'm in love with a character for 24 years now.
I know someone even older than me who loves a fictional character. And she has a perfect normal life. She's sane and everything.

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I saw on another site that there is a term for this.  Forgot what it is. But yes.  Why isn't Peeta Mellark real?

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