• Announcements

    • Kisa the Cat

      World Watch Archiving Project

      Hello everyone, Please read this thread before posting to World Watch Thank you.
    • Kelly

      New Moderators needed: Nominations   04/27/17

      Join the team! We need two new Moderators. See:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/159067-new-moderator-needed-for-welcome-lounge-and-tea-and-sympathy-nominations/ http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/159068-new-moderator-member-needed-for-just-for-fun-and-the-alternate-language-forum-nominations/  
    • Kisa the Cat

      Avenues May/June   05/09/17

      Hello AVENites! The newest edition of AVENues is now ready! Our theme this time was "ace connections".  May/June
ZombiesAndSlasherMovies

Romantic feelings for Fictional Characters?

   84 members have voted

  1. 1. Ever had feelings for a fictional character?

    • Just physical attraction
      10
    • Just a crush
      64
    • Yes
      155
    • No, not in anyway.
      36
    • Other (Please explain?)
      30

Please sign in or register to vote in this poll.

162 posts in this topic

Hi everyone. Buckle up, this is going to be a long one.

I identify as both Pansexual and Demisexual, as well as Panromantic and Demiromantic. I've had a few real life long term relationships, I've had real sex, and I've been in love with real people. In my identity I have no doubt, but I've had this growing concern to do with Fictional Characters.

Ever since I was a kid, I've had feelings for fictional characters. Pretty basic for people to crush on fictional characters, so I hadn't thought anything of it for most of my life. I've come to realize that I experience and process romantic feelings for fictional characters the exact same way I process them for real people. Again, not really a big deal I suppose. I don't find fictional characters attractive or have feelings for them, only after becoming attached to their personality, but it's to the degree that I become attached that makes me uncomfortable. I've only ever told one person about this, but I genuinely fall in love with these people that aren't real. For long periods at a time, like real long term relationships. I find myself emotionally "monogamous" (if you can even call it that) with these fictional people, not being able to "love" more then one at a time. Any time I was in a real life relationship, since I was in love with my partner, I didn't have this problem with fictional characters, and I'm starting to believe the opposite is true as well. That I can't love a real person as long as I'm in love with a fictional person.

My last real life relationship was 4 years or so ago. I haven't been with anyone real since. 3 1/2 years ago I fell in love with a particular fictional character. Sometime in those 3 years, as much as I was upset about admitting it, I came to find that, I hadn't been single all this time because I'm demi and hadn't developed feelings for anyone in my life. It was because I was already in love with someone, and felt like I was taken. Being in love with him didn't get in the way of my real life at all. I went to work, I hung out with friends, spent time with my family, anything anyone else does. I suffer from depression and anxiety, but I don't suffer from anything that disconnects me from reality? I know he isn't real. I didn't get possessive or upset when other's express attraction to him, or for any other character I'm attached to for that matter. (I actually quite enjoy speaking to other people who feel strongly about characters I have feelings for). I know that the actor that plays him is only that, an actor- but I still loved him, even fully understanding he's not real. I still care about him very much. I took joy in finding little ways of connecting with the idea of him, like regularly wearing a necklace identical to one he does for example. I always fantasized about what kind of relationship we'd have if I was in his reality (and if I was the person I'd ideally want to be both physically and lifestyle wise, because well, it's my fantasy, haha.) in depth and detail. I'd sometimes become deeply upset that I could never be with him or even touch him. This wasn't the first time I loved a character, but it certainly was the first time it had hit me so hard. Where I really went to bed at night upset that I couldn't be laying next to him.

Okay, where I am today. Again, I do still care about him very much but it's not like before. If he were real he'd probably be that ex that I was still friends with and would protect with my life, sometimes wonder if I still actively love. My feelings for him changed around last December. All year this year I've continued to be without relationship but now- uh oh. Here comes another character. I'm not going to say I love her like I loved him. I've only been familiar with her for a few months, and I haven't spent as much "time with her" as I had with him when I realized I loved him. I do have those "honey moon", new relationship, feelings for her though. Like, I'm "getting to know her" and it could lead to the "relationship" I had with him.

My feelings are occurring now at a time where I know that this is a thing that happens to me. It's just- a thing, but I hate it. Not because I love fake people, no, because I feel completely alone in it. I feel like I can't say anything about it because I sound like I'm mental. Even writing this is horrifying. Even scarier, I had the thought last night "I wish I could openly call her my girlfriend". It's official. I'm a fucking weirdo. There it is. I can't deny it AT ALL to myself anymore, only hide it. I don't want to like, go on facebook, tick the "in a relationship" box, and scream to everyone "I love this girl!" because lmfao, god knows that would NEVER be an acceptable thing to do. I do wish I had somewhere, or at least one person I could feel comfortable enough talking to about this. To be able to refer to her as my girlfriend to someone without feeling like I'm being seen as a psycho. I've tried looking for others who have the same relationships with fictional characters that I do, but 99% of anyone that says "I love (such and such) so much!" is joking or purposely exaggerating (I guess fangirling would be the way to put it). The one person I told said she was okay with it, but she also said that it was because I haven't "met the right person" yet and am just latching onto these "people" because they're perfect and unrealistic. I can assure you, ha, none of the characters I've ever had feelings for were the mary sue, perfect pants type. It's always the realistically flawed ones, because I guess they mimic someone you could actually potentially meet and it blurs that barrier in my head that says "no you can't love something that doesn't exist silly, lol". I don't know, she wasn't understanding how serious I was being, I suppose.

The very few posts I've found online from people who've said they also fall in love with fictional people, interestingly enough, identified as asexual. I wonder if that has anything to do with it? I don't know, I guess I'm just looking for someone to assure me that I'm not mental, and that there are people out there who understand. If anything, people don't judge me for it. Also, curious, is there a word for this type of attraction? It's not just romantic, it's sexual as well?

Okay okay, that's basically it. Sorry for the essay.

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry I can't really help you too much since I don't know if there's a word for it, but I have definitely been in love with fictional characters (or, more specifically, one who I think is absolutely perfect :wub: ). So I can assure you that it is certainly possible to be ace and still have feelings for someone who sadly doesn't exist, in the same way that a sexual would for someone in "real life."

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I remember that this one fictional character that I had a crush on... Like it was the same crush feelings that I would get if I was crushing on someone in real life. I wanted him to be real so bad.

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry I can't really help you too much since I don't know if there's a word for it, but I have definitely been in love with fictional characters (or, more specifically, one who I think is absolutely perfect :wub: ). So I can assure you that it is certainly possible to be ace and still have feelings for someone who sadly doesn't exist, in the same way that a sexual would for someone in "real life."

Oh, it's okay. It's more important to me to know that I'm not alone in this.

I remember that this one fictional character that I had a crush on... Like it was the same crush feelings that I would get if I was crushing on someone in real life. I wanted him to be real so bad.

I feel you on a spiritual level ♥

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm the only "other" voter on the survey so far because while I never had romantic or any attraction-sort desire for a fictional character I do have feelings I cannot put into words that is none of those things (mostly because I think it's illogical to have feelings for people that don't exist, not speaking for other aros though)...which I read happens frequently to aromantic people. So I'll call it a WTF? thing because I don't know what to call it.

I have a looooong list of OTPs for characters though :twisted:


EDIT to add, that I consider all literature and entertainment a very sophisticated version of playing with dolls. Or playing "house". From Shakespeare to South Park, all of it...is simply the human mind playing with toys. Some more refined and some more sophisticated, some not...but it all boils down to that for me.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh yes. A million yeses. I have encountered so many characters where I thought "Damn, why aren't you real? I would date you so hard."

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't had romantic feelings for a character (aromantic), but I have had squishes, long lasting ones that are more intense than any I've ever had for a person .__. The characters I like aren't exactly mainstream either, so I get what you mean with the whole "I can't tell anyone without looking like a freak thing"!

Don't worry, you're not alone with your freakiness :P

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh yes. A million yeses. I have encountered so many characters where I thought "Damn, why aren't you real? I would date you so hard."

This would be so much easier if people were more open minded about this stuff happening! Cause obviously, it does!

I haven't had romantic feelings for a character (aromantic), but I have had squishes, long lasting ones that are more intense than any I've ever had for a person .__. The characters I like aren't exactly mainstream either, so I get what you mean with the whole "I can't tell anyone without looking like a freak thing"!

Don't worry, you're not alone with your freakiness :P

Awh, thank you ♥ Good to know.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have had romantic attraction to fictional characters all my life. When I do have feelings for meat people, the feelings are not as 'solid' (only word I can think of) as they are for fictional characters. It's like for meat people, the feeling is more of an 'idea' of a feeling. It's still 'real' but in a sense that I cannot physically 'feel', I can only feel it mentally. For fictional characters, I actually physically 'feel' the feelings, as opposed to just having an idea of a feeling that I know exists within me, but that I cannot actually 'experience' as a solid thing.

The very few posts I've found online from people who've said they also fall in love with fictional people, interestingly enough, identified as asexual. I wonder if that has anything to do with it? I don't know, I guess I'm just looking for someone to assure me that I'm not mental, and that there are people out there who understand. If anything, people don't judge me for it. Also, curious, is there a word for this type of attraction? It's not just romantic, it's sexual as well?

You're not mental unless I am too (oh wait, I am mental, but for reasons other than my romantic attraction for fictional characters lol) and I just go with the term Fictoromantic (Pan-fictoromantic for me) .. Not sure if there is another term, if there is I haven't heard it, and I don't really use it as an official label as such (I would never say to someone in meat like ''I'm fictoromantic'' haha they'd just think I'm silly) it's more just a word I use on places like this, to define how I feel, and I honestly just don't care what other people think about it.

Not sure if that helped or not, but yeah, you're definitely not alone in your feelings.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have had romantic attraction to fictional characters all my life. When I do have feelings for meat people, the feelings are not as 'solid' (only word I can think of) as they are for fictional characters. It's like for meat people, the feeling is more of an 'idea' of a feeling. It's still 'real' but in a sense that I cannot physically 'feel', I can only feel it mentally. For fictional characters, I actually physically 'feel' the feelings, as opposed to just having an idea of a feeling that I know exists within me, but that I cannot actually 'experience' as a solid thing.

The very few posts I've found online from people who've said they also fall in love with fictional people, interestingly enough, identified as asexual. I wonder if that has anything to do with it? I don't know, I guess I'm just looking for someone to assure me that I'm not mental, and that there are people out there who understand. If anything, people don't judge me for it. Also, curious, is there a word for this type of attraction? It's not just romantic, it's sexual as well?

You're not mental unless I am too (oh wait, I am mental, but for reasons other than my romantic attraction for fictional characters lol) and I just go with the term Fictoromantic (Pan-fictoromantic for me) .. Not sure if there is another term, if there is I haven't heard it, and I don't really use it as an official label as such (I would never say to someone in meat like ''I'm fictoromantic'' haha they'd just think I'm silly) it's more just a word I use on places like this, to define how I feel, and I honestly just don't care what other people think about it.

Not sure if that helped or not, but yeah, you're definitely not alone in your feelings.

No, are you kidding? Of course you helped.

It's funny that you have a word for real people. I've seen others (albiet, seldom) who have a term for real people. For example, people who are in relationships with humanoid dolls call us "organic" people, because to them their dolls ARE people. Just not the same type of people we are. I guess in a sense that's exactly how I feel about fictional characters. They're not physically here or real, but to me, the feelings I have for them very much makes them people. So it makes sense.

Ahh, I HAVE seen the word fictophile around. I didn't know that's what that was though. Yeah, no I would never run up to someone and claim myself as such but that's exactly why I wanted to know. To have a word I could convey myself with on online safe spaces. So, it wouldn't seem insane to call the character I have feelings for right now my girlfriend then? Since I'm among people who understand? Okay, she's my girlfriend.

Holy shit, that felt relieving.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Absolutely. More often than I crushed on real people I knew (which happened exactly once).

They have a personality, they're brought to life by their creators, so I don't think it's that weird.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Absolutely. More often than I crushed on real people I knew (which happened exactly once).

They have a personality, they're brought to life by their creators, so I don't think it's that weird.

I mean, there are a lot of things I don't think are weird but the general public finds crazy-pants. It really not might not be anywhere near as weird as I think it is. Especially considering I'm finding others here who can relate. Maybe we're just being bamboozled into thinking it's weird.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh yes. A million yeses. I have encountered so many characters where I thought "Damn, why aren't you real? I would date you so hard."

Aaaaaand that's what further solidifies myself as aromantic in my own mind. Yup, would never date anyone. Pretty sure they wouldn't wanna date me.

When I do have feelings for meat people,

"Meat people" I love that..lol...that deserves some cake :cake:

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, yes. Tbh I feel like I AM completely and utterly mental, but I don't really attach a bad stigma to that soooo yeah.

I've fallen for tons of fictional characters all the way back to when I first started watching Sailor Moon. And I've even fallen for fictional characters of my own creation. Today, there are two people in particular I'm probably in love with, I just don't know if that's right because I am not sure what being in love is supposed to feel like. One since I was in middle school...so for over ten years, and the other I "met" in 2006 and have since been head-over-heels for. I would still not call myself polyamorous (is that the term?) in this situation because these people exist in entirely separate galaxies/worlds. My personifications of myself to them are only slightly different from each other. It is like having two slightly different sides of myself.

The first one, the one I "met" when I was in middle school, was actually created by myself. So do with that what you will, hah. The other is from an anime. o: I'm gonna talk more about him specifically... or what I do, really. Sometimes I put a wallpaper (which is just a collage of pictures of him) on my desktop because I've gone too long without "seeing" him. And then I can't stand if anyone comes in my room or talks to me because I don't want him to see them, and I DEFINITELY don't want them to see him. Then I will have conversations with myself and three other versions of myself in my head, in which I try to reveal as much information about myself as possible because obviously the wallpaper on my desktop can hear me and needs to learn about me so he can maybe possibly like me. hah.

That isn't the worst of it but honestly it is kind of horrifying. xD The thing is, though, I have never been in a real relationship. I sometimes feel so starved for romance that it is unbearable. Those are usually the times when I have to see him the most. I pretty myself up and everything... The way I developed feelings for both these guys was as much as it was for any guy I started to like IRL. It is sad to say but I don't know what I'll do if the anime guy I like is paired off with a girl. His writer has gotten dangerously close to doing it already and I felt like something big was coming to an end. I've felt really terrible about that.

I am really, really hopeless and insane, I suppose.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've fallen for tons of fictional characters all the way back to when I first started watching Sailor Moon. And I've even fallen for fictional characters of my own creation. Today, there are two people in particular I'm probably in love with, I just don't know if that's right because I am not sure what being in love is supposed to feel like. One since I was in middle school...so for over ten years, and the other I "met" in 2006 and have since been head-over-heels for. I would still not call myself polyamorous (is that the term?) in this situation because these people exist in entirely separate galaxies/worlds. My personifications of myself to them are only slightly different from each other. It is like having two slightly different sides of myself.

Oh, you know what? I'm having the "polyamorous" conflict right now. As I said in my essay, I've only ever loved one person (fict or otherwise) at once. I'm a monogamous person no matter how you slice it. Though, the reason why I describe the last character I was in love with like "an ex I'm still close to and still wonder if I'm in love with" is because I did cool it for awhile with him, then my current girlfriend came along 3 months ago, but a month or so into it, feeling for him started bubbling up again and it's so weird because I've never had that happen. I was really battling myself and then I realize, lol they're not real. I can love both if I want to. They can't protest to it, because they aren't here. So, I dunno. I'm definitely invested in my girlfriend, but- we'll see if my ex sneaks his way back into things. I just can't quit him, I guess.

The first one, the one I "met" when I was in middle school, was actually created by myself. So do with that what you will, hah. The other is from an anime. o: I'm gonna talk more about him specifically... or what I do, really. Sometimes I put a wallpaper (which is just a collage of pictures of him) on my desktop because I've gone too long without "seeing" him. And then I can't stand if anyone comes in my room or talks to me because I don't want him to see them, and I DEFINITELY don't want them to see him. Then I will have conversations with myself and three other versions of myself in my head, in which I try to reveal as much information about myself as possible because obviously the wallpaper on my desktop can hear me and needs to learn about me so he can maybe possibly like me. hah.

You're not the only one I've heard of falling in love with their own characters! You're definitely not alone in that, but I have no creativity so I can't specifically relate, lol. I can't say I'm as in depth as you? I don't know, you be the judge with what I'm about to describe. Like I mentioned in my OP, with my ex, I had a necklace identical to his that I wore at all times for those 3 years. It made me feel closer to him, like I had a tangible piece of him. I also have a hat of his, as well as identical boots, and similar sunglasses. I wasn't trying to dress like him, it all was for the same reason that I wore the necklace (and hey, I was on my feet 12 hours a day at work and those work boots were comfortable, haha). I'm currently looking into getting my girlfriend's dog tags to wear now that I'm with her. I have "versions" of myself too. When I fantasize, it's never me and the character in question. It's them and a character I've made for myself to be, and then tweak her accordingly for whatever their world is. Of course, she's really just what, in a perfect world, I'd be. Her name is Evelynn, Eevee is a nick name. Hence the name I go by on here. I don't talk to fictional characters out loud, per-say but- my fantasizing is really in depth (conversations, big life events, ever day stuff, "getting to know me" conversations, like you describe) and sometimes I catch myself when I'm out doing stuff fantasizing what we'd be doing if they were there, blah blah. Stuff like that. I guess I do the same, just not out loud.

That isn't the worst of it but honestly it is kind of horrifying. xD The thing is, though, I have never been in a real relationship. I sometimes feel so starved for romance that it is unbearable. Those are usually the times when I have to see him the most. I pretty myself up and everything... The way I developed feelings for both these guys was as much as it was for any guy I started to like IRL. It is sad to say but I don't know what I'll do if the anime guy I like is paired off with a girl. His writer has gotten dangerously close to doing it already and I felt like something big was coming to an end. I've felt really terrible about that.

If you see yourself as "starved for romance", and they're what helps you cope, so be it. You're not hurting anyone. That's just my opinion. Though, I don't want you to be upset if one of them gets paired off. The cool thing about fictional characters is, even if they're portrayed with a pairing, you have your own version of him, that's just as valid as the one being written by the creator. If your idea of him is that he's yours, then he's yours. My ex had a canon pair. Matter of fact, he got to the point of obsession with her, and ultimately it's what ended up getting him killed. (Tell me I fall in love with perfect mary sue types again, people who don't understand!) Though, it never effected the feeling of closeness I had to him. The idea I had of him was mine. It's like, everyone sees and has their own version of this one person. I don't know if I'm making sense to you, hopefully I am. Oh and then there's the whole, he's canonly dead thing, but he's not dead to me. That's also why it doesn't upset me when others "claim" the same character, so to speak. Cause their version of him is different then mine. That's their (insert name here), I have my own! The canon romance more pissed me off 'cause I freaking knew they were going to kill him off over it and it was just toxic and unhealthy. That's a different discussion, though.

I am really, really hopeless and insane, I suppose.

/sigh/ Same.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have been known to call my OCs asexy before, something I'd never call a "meat person" (God can I use that? xD), so yeah. Right there with ya!

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have been known to call my OCs asexy before, something I'd never call a "meat person" (God can I use that? xD), so yeah. Right there with ya!

It's official, "meat person" is a thing.

Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone! ♥ Same to everyone else that's replied. It's a HUGE relief.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Meat person... LMAO I love it!

I could have written this. I actually have a thread around here somewhere on the same topic! I've been this way my whole life and finally just accepted it as it makes me very happy! Why fight it? I'm not hurting anyone...

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Meat person... LMAO I love it!

I could have written this. I actually have a thread around here somewhere on the same topic! I've been this way my whole life and finally just accepted it as it makes me very happy! Why fight it? I'm not hurting anyone...

Oh my god! Did you really? I was just scared there was something wrong with me, but just like every other part of my sexual identity, I guess I should see it as different, not wrong. You're right, we're not hurting anyone.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Certainly I've had a squish / crush on fictional characters, there's no danger of anything being reciprocated.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've crushed on fictional characters. Strangely, the vast majority of them had been "robot girls". KOS-MOS from Xenosaga, Aegis from Persona 3, Dorothy from Big O. In retrospect, I should have realized I was asexual when I crushed on fictional characters that had a female body-type but a lack of sexual organs. I think the only real non-robot fictional character I had a crush on was one of my own creation and Cynthia from Pokemon.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not really sure what to call my relationship with fictional characters. I guess it's kind of like having really strong OTPs...sort of. I get these adoring feelings of wanting to spend all my time with a character. Sometimes I'll reread sections of books over and over. I don't know if the feelings are romantic (not really sure what that feels like) but the weird thing is that I never want to actually date them and I'll often subconsciously choose a partner for the character and get similar feelings of adoration for them together. I'll even fantasize about them together. The only way I can really describe it is me being attracted to them being attracted to each other.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I never want to actually date them and I'll often subconsciously choose a partner for the character and get similar feelings of adoration for them together. I'll even fantasize about them together. The only way I can really describe it is me being attracted to them being attracted to each other.

This exactly. :D

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not really sure what to call my relationship with fictional characters. I guess it's kind of like having really strong OTPs...sort of. I get these adoring feelings of wanting to spend all my time with a character. Sometimes I'll reread sections of books over and over. I don't know if the feelings are romantic (not really sure what that feels like) but the weird thing is that I never want to actually date them and I'll often subconsciously choose a partner for the character and get similar feelings of adoration for them together. I'll even fantasize about them together. The only way I can really describe it is me being attracted to them being attracted to each other.

That's really interesting. Sort of like a squish but a couple squish? Maybe?

I love your icon by the way. Riza is amazing ♥ I could talk FMA forever.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not really sure what to call my relationship with fictional characters. I guess it's kind of like having really strong OTPs...sort of. I get these adoring feelings of wanting to spend all my time with a character. Sometimes I'll reread sections of books over and over. I don't know if the feelings are romantic (not really sure what that feels like) but the weird thing is that I never want to actually date them and I'll often subconsciously choose a partner for the character and get similar feelings of adoration for them together. I'll even fantasize about them together. The only way I can really describe it is me being attracted to them being attracted to each other.

Exactly. THIS. So, so so this. I LOVE my OTPs. I think it's to the point where I'm getting over a certain animated series where the one character ends up with this....strange, weird relationship-thing at the end. There weren't many episodes left, and I really don't know how to take this female character. i absolutely blew my stack when I found out the lead male and lead female end up together because the writers drop SO MANY HINTS that they aren't "couple material", and furthermore the lead male has dream warning about her!!! I don't know if I'm seeing things in the subscript or not, but the lead female is so badly jackhammered into the plot it seems even the writers felt it would be better without her there...but seems to have been forced to do they best they could. I know executive meddling in an animated series totally is possible and totally happens. A lot.

But the string of horrible,weird, crazy people this character ended up with was just unbearably painful to watch, even though I know it's done for humor/satire. And the last lead female seemed...on the most part...absolutely no differet than the other dysfunctional relationships throughout the whole thing.

UUUUGGGGHHH I'm getting mad all over again. Of course, I always say "seems" because perhaps I'm reading too much into it and maybe the writers of the show *intended* for the plot to go exactly as it was. in that case they are fail, they are bad and should feel bad and the network was doing the right thing in garbaging the show.

I don't want to date anyone, i like ALL the main characters and I just want the writers to fix the damned story! LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Absolutely, I've had far more fictional crushes than real life ones. I've come to the conclusion that I find them attractive because there's nothing sexual about them. Anime characters, for example, often engage in romantic relationships but we usually don't see them in sexual situations. I think that deep down I desire a fictional relationship, because it just looks simpler for romantics like me. No pressure of sex, just innocent, pure romance. Interestingly I never thought about that until I found out about asexuality and such, but it seems so obvious now haha

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A fictional character sometimes resonates with an archetypal image or ideal of what our psyche seeks in a real person. This is what happens in real life too. We become attracted to people who initially "seem" to embody the qualities we yearn for. Before getting to know the person in depth, we project our yearned for image of an ideal mate on to them, and this is what sets the stage for our initial infatuation. We become infatuated with our fantasy of a person, regardless of whether it fits the reality of the person. Later on, we may learn that the person does not truly fit our internally yearned for image, and then we either try to adjust or leave the relationship. This is similar to what happens when we become infatuated with a fictional character, except that we realize, or hopefully realize, that the fictional character is no different than creating a fictional person in our daydreams or fantasies. And, our fantasies rarely ever match reality.

As long as you are quite clear that your fictional crush is not real, then I would not worry about this too much. My only concern about becoming infatuated with a character, is that you "may" compare every potential real-life partner to that character, and he/she will probably never measure up to the archetype/ideal you've fallen in love with. Everyone has one or more "images" of ideal mates within their psyche, but real life human beings usually never fit the perfection of those ideal images. Becoming infatuated with a character who represents and fulfills all that you yearn for, can "potentially" trap you within that fantasy like an addiction, and inhibit you from fully embracing and being able to fully experience imperfect love and imperfect people in the real world, unless you are able to keep the fantasy and the real world clearly separated.

Anyway, if you have time, take a look at my personal statement on my profile, as I'm contemplating becoming involved with my own fictional characters. If you, or anyone else, is interested in discussing this further, then you are welcome to message me, as I'm fascinated with this topic.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sort of like a squish but a couple squish? Maybe?

Yeah, that's a great term for it. I am definitely going to refer to it as couple squishing from now on XD

I love your icon by the way. Riza is amazing ♥ I could talk FMA forever.

Thank you!

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As long as you are quite clear that your fictional crush is not real, then I would not worry about this too much. My only concern about becoming infatuated with a character, is that you "may" compare every potential real-life partner to that character, and he/she will probably never measure up to the archetype/ideal you've fallen in love with. Everyone has one or more "images" of ideal mates within their psyche, but real life human beings usually never fit the perfection of those ideal images. Becoming infatuated with a character who represents and fulfills all that you yearn for, can "potentially" trap you within that fantasy like an addiction, and inhibit you from fully embracing and being able to fully experience imperfect love and imperfect people in the real world, unless you are able to keep the fantasy and the real world clearly separated.

Like I said above, I'm not disconnected from reality in anyway, I'm aware that she isn't real. I mean, as real as ideas can get, I suppose. Nor have I ever compared real people to fict people as, well, they're two different type of people and obviously real people could never be like fict people. I do think the closer to real fict people are, the easier it is to develop feelings for them it is. However, there's still a clear line drawn in the sand between the two for me.

Although, here's my question. Is it so bad for me to choose my fict girlfriend over a crush in real life, if I genuinely feel more for her then for them? Not because she's "better" or more "perfect", but that I legitimately just love her more? If she makes me happier then they do, is it really that detrimental to me? I spend time with family and friends extremely regularly, I'm not opposed to meeting new people (I have social anxiety, so it's more scary then exciting, but I force myself to cause it ends up positively in the long run), I get out of my space anytime I can to make sure I maintain somewhat of an okay social life, of which I don't involve my fict girlfriend so? If I'm comfortable with and happy with her, would it be really be bad for me to skip out on a real crush?

This is hypothetical, by the by. My family and my best friends (who are like my siblings to me) are all of the important people in my life to me right now. None of which I'd like to be romantic with, obviously.

Yes, I agree I'd love to message you and share ideas. It seems we all have different relationships with fict people and it's fascinating to talk about.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My whole romantic orientation is totally confusing to me, but I have felt things for characters. There's the basic aesthetic attraction (I will stare at hot people for ages lol), and a general attachment to the character (i.e. this character had better not die). But it seems like there's occasionally more. But it's more like... I want to take care of them? I guess? The strongest I've ever really felt this was with (this is somewhat embarrassing lol) Loki in the Marvel movies. I was equally attracted to him, sympathized with him, and wanted to like... heal him? Like, if he were real, I'd want to love him and help him get better. I don't feel this anymore, or even think about him, really, but... at the time, it was pretty strong. I've never felt this for another character, either. I love the idea of fictional characters falling in love (Destiel shipper, here), but I rarely feel like I should be part of that equation. :P

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now