Acuarela Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Well... first of all, english is not my first language so please, excuse any mistakes I could make. I don't know how to start this, but here it goes. I'm 22 y.o cis-female and virgin. I've never had sex and I've never wanted to have sex with someone. I don’t think it is important for a relationship and thinking about me having sex with someone makes me feel uncomfortable. Although I have a libido (for what I've been reading I think this is the right term). I've had romantic feelings towards some people, 2 of my friends actually, but It happened only when I was really, really close to them and trusted them deeply (after 3+ years knowing them) but I didn't had a relationship with them because of cirmscunstances, not because I didn’t wanted one. Normally, I wouldn’t feel romatic feelings for someone often. I’ve talk with someone that I’m asexual and she told me that she is demisexual and that she felt sexual attraction only when she was with her last boyfriend who she loved and cared deeply and that I couldn’t know if I’m asexual yet because I’ve never been ‘intimate’ with someone. The thing is, I loved my friend deeply, I cared a lot about her, and wanted to hold hands with her and kiss her on her cheek and hug her and wanted to spent my entire life with her, but she didn’t love me back. I’ve never been that ‘physical’ with someone; I love hugs and caresses although I’m not very fond of kisses at least not ‘passionate kisses’. I had a boyfriend once, and I liked him a lot, and we kissed and I got aroused but I was really unconfortable with that… and I did not enjoy it much, although my body was reacting. I didn’t wanted to kiss him again because of that. I'm confused about this. To resume, imagining myself kissing passionately or having sex with someone actually makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm even uncomfortable when someone finds me 'sexy' or wants to be in a relationship with me and ask me about sex. The question is….Do I seem asexual? Or demisexual? Or do I really have to wait to be more ‘intimate’ with someone to know it? I mean, is there some demisexual people that has to be on an ‘intimate’ situation to actually feel sexual attraction??? I’ve been very confused lately about this. I feel so dumb making this questions. I hope It’s a valid question to make and someone can help me about this. I know you can’t tell me what my sexuality is, but I would like to hear your opinions. I’m afraid I would fall deeply in love with someone and when it goes to sex I wouldn’t want to do it and feel uncomfortable about it. PD: If I want this topic removed later, do I have to ask a mod? Or just edit it?... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WünderBâhr Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Even if you identify as asexual, now, if that identification changes (or if you discover you are demi-sexual), that's okay, too. You don't have to have sex to experience sexual attraction, just as you wouldn't have to have sex to "know for sure" whether or not you are asexual. I'd hate for you to go into that sort of experience, thinking you have to do anything you don't want to, just to be sure of a label. At any rate, I hope you are able to find some answers. If at any time, you feel the need to ask about your thread being removed or edited, you may contact an Admod. Currently, I am the mod of this forum, with a new co-mod joining soon. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Winnie_A Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 If you know you don't want sex and it makes you feel uncomfortable, that's fine. Don't feel like you have to try it if you don't want to. I can relate to a lot of what you said. I've loved someone a lot but still never had sexual attraction to them. I sometimes hope maybe I could be demisexual, but personally I'm not going to go out of my way to try and find out. If it happens, great. But even though I am open to the possibility, I'm still confident in identifying as asexual. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blinkin Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Only you can decide which label fits the best best for this moment (and if it changes, that's okay), we can only give you our perspective. From what you say you seem to have romantic attraction (not sure which one). Romantic attraction is basically falling in love and wanting a romantic relationship without all the things related to sexual attraction (e.g. wanting a sexual relationship). If you're are asexual or demisexual is unclear for me. Everyone can be sexual repulsed, no matter what orientation one identifies with. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.