Robuk Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 My love for you equals zero. We just don't add up so I'm going to take myself away. Do you mind if I sit down next to you? I'm quite tired after running through your mind all day. Link to post Share on other sites
aventura Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 You must be really out of shape because you did not run through my mind at all. You must be my appendix because I don't understand how you work and this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out. Link to post Share on other sites
KuraiTsuki Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 I think you should go see a doctor instead. *holds out hand* Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk? Link to post Share on other sites
DiEvAl Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 Okay. *opens his suitcase*. You can put your hand here. I'll make sure no one steals it while you are away. If you don't have a knife to cut it off, you can borrow mine. Of course, that'll cost you some extra money. I hope I sounded creepy enough. My other option was to hold the hand hostage, but I decided against it Can I read your T shirt in brail? Link to post Share on other sites
SignerJ Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 Only if you want a cop to read you your rights.Are you a Yeerk? I can't seem to get you out of my head. Link to post Share on other sites
Robuk Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 I'm trapped in your head? I wondered what this dark and simple place was. You look cold. The quickest way to heat up is sharing body heat so why don't I hug you until your warm again? Link to post Share on other sites
DiEvAl Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 There is an even quicker way: I can just play some Kerbal on my laptop, and then hold it close to my body. A mere human cannot outheat my laptop's CPU :P I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
RhuinHruda Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 But it still amounts to nothing, so shoo. Call me a crazy cat lady but I just love your p****y Link to post Share on other sites
Robuk Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 You are a crazy cat lady...*walks off* I'm concerned for your welfare so here is my telephone number. Please call me when you get home so that I know you are safe. Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted August 8, 2015 Author Share Posted August 8, 2015 Are you saying that because I am a female I can't even be trusted to walk the familiar path to my own house? Thanks for perpetuating the myths of the patriarchy. :p Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick! Link to post Share on other sites
Robuk Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 I'm afraid mouth to mouth only works if you have stopped breathing. But if you turn around, I'll give you a big hard slap on the back to dislodge that blockage of yours. I also have a blockage, it's called not interested in you... Thank you so much for giving me your last Rolo. It means a lot that you love me enough! Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted August 8, 2015 Author Share Posted August 8, 2015 Actually I was hoping that you would decide to leave quickly before I changed my mind. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Robuk Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 Well my voices tell me to burn things but it doesn't mean I follow their advice... My mum doesn't think I'm good at talking to women. How about I take you out for dinner and we can prove her wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
DiEvAl Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 There is a slight problem in your plan: I'm not a women. I'm learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them? Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysADreamer Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 Ok, how about one of those really violent and gory ones? I don't want to be Batman, Iron Man, or Superman. I want to be Your (wo)man. Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted August 8, 2015 Author Share Posted August 8, 2015 Oooh, does that mean that you have superpowers?!?! Like the ability to mysteriously disappear forever? Help, somethings wrong with my eyes - I just can't take them off you. Link to post Share on other sites
Robuk Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 I can help with that. Close your eyes for a minute, open them and I think then you should be able to look at all sorts of other things aside from me *walks off once eyes are closed* They call me the Love Assasin. How about I take you out? Link to post Share on other sites
RhuinHruda Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 They call me the Assassin Assassin. How about I take YOU out? They say opposites attract. I guess that explains our magnetic connection. Link to post Share on other sites
DiEvAl Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 But I have negative mass. *runs away* Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted August 10, 2015 Author Share Posted August 10, 2015 Unfortunately my polarity seems to have been reversed. I guess we are too alike after all. Ninja'd by negative mass. Let's both have drinks, I'll get H2O, and you can get H-two-Oh-too. (if you don't get it say it out loud, then look up toxic subtances :D ) Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you. Link to post Share on other sites
DiEvAl Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 No duplicate pickup lines! You must be a really bad surgeon... Are you a carbon sample? Because I'd love to date you (what more do you expect from someone with Spock as his avatar?). Link to post Share on other sites
Robuk Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 No duplicate trying to pick me up... Are you a dried piece of fruit? Because I want to date you :) Link to post Share on other sites
KuraiTsuki Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Oh you poor soul, did you lose your glasses? I'm a person, duh! You can get dates at the supermarket over there. You're hotter than the bottom of my laptop! Link to post Share on other sites
DiEvAl Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 I KNOW!!! I'M OVERHEATING BECAUSE I'M ANGRY! WHY CAN'T PEOPLE LEAVE ME ALONE?! I wish I was your second derivative so I could investigate your concavities. Link to post Share on other sites
codebreaker4life Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 I'm sorry math isn't my thing. You'll have to move along.What do you say we play a game of "Words With More Than Friends?" Link to post Share on other sites
Robuk Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Actually I'd prefer to play a game of hide and seek. I'll give you a five...no twenty minute head start to go hide somewhere... I'm arresting you in the name of love. You don't have to say anything. But anything you do say will be taken down...like your pants... Link to post Share on other sites
Confusion 0 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Anything I say will be taken down? You. You look like your hands are full, mind if I hold your face for you? Link to post Share on other sites
Lone Ranger Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Yes, they are full of all the bull**** you throw at me Are you a vampire? Cause you looked a little thirsty when you looked at me. Link to post Share on other sites
KuraiTsuki Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Oh sorry I wasn't looking at you. I was looking at that lemonade stand behind you. Is your name Wifi because I'm feeling a connection. Link to post Share on other sites
Lone Ranger Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Sorry but you can't keep up being a 28K dial up and I'm a 50 mbps Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
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