Archived Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I honestly do not get the clear differences between them all. I first thought I was sex averse because I thought it meant you were okay with it but you'd rather not, but most people seem to say it's like sex repulsed just not as severe in disgust. I don't quite understand what sex positive is. I'd never have sex. For one, I don't desire it and would (probably) never have a partner to try to compromise since I'm aromantic. I don't have a curiosity to fulfill and my religion kind of has that whole "don't have sex until you marry thing", which the whole marriage thing isn't gonna happen, so not gonna experiment. My actual attitude towards sex is that I really don't want it but I'm not disgusted by or in any way negative about the idea. Like when I get older and even now, I don't care if someone talks about sex. My friends make a lot of sex jokes. I make a lot of sex jokes. I can't imagine that I'd be disgusted if they actually started talking about their experiences later on, maybe say "Are you sure you want to tell me that? That's kind of personal, just in general, really," but if they wanted to talk about it, I wouldn't care. I would never want to see people engaging in sex though, not because I find it repulsive or just don't like it, it's because it would make me feel a bit uncomfortable, kinda the same level of comfortableness if I was sitting to the side as two people passionately made out (or just kissed for more than 3 seconds, for that matter). I would only feel awkward because I'd think "I don't think I should be here..." Also the nudity that comes with sex makes me feel awkward as well. Like if I'm clothed, sitting there watching people have sex (irl or on tv for some reason), I'd feel uncomfortable because I feel invasive on that whole rumble. Well, nudity in general makes me feel uncomfortable, not disgusted, just uncomfortable. I'm comfortable with my body, just not seeing other people's bodies. I'm okay with everyone else having sex, as long as it's consensual and safe and they're not being disloyal/dishonest. For me having sex, it's a casual "Nah, I'm good" as opposed to an "Ew, no" or an "UGHH, DON'T EVEN", but still a no. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Annapox Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 Sex positivity is basically the attitude of "Have sex if you want to. Don't have sex if you don't want to. As long as everything is consensual and safe, it's all good." (Some people forget about the "don't have sex if you don't want to" part, though.) So, yes, you can be sex-positive and sex-averse. That would just mean you don't care if other people have sex, but you don't want to have sex yourself, which is what it sounds like you're saying. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I think it's possible to be "sex neutral" .... That is how I see myself, not completely disgusted by sexual but quite ok to go without it. Also don't care about if other people have sex or not. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lost247365 Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I take sex-positivity to mean that we don't feel that sex is a "negative" or bad thing. Like the above poster said, so long as it is between consenting adults, live and let live and if you don't want to have sex then that is fine as well. Sex-negative, would be believing that sex is ultimately a harmful activity that has harmful effects upon the individual and society as a whole. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 Sex-repulsed =/= sex-negative. I am a prime example. I'll explain in a bit. Anyways, they're not synonyms. There are even some sex-repulsed people who are sex-positive. Or sex-averse instead of sex-repulsed, of course. I am sex-repulsed, but I am not sex-negative. I'm repulsed when it comes to a personal level as I wouldn't want to be involved in any way, shape, or form, in sex/sexual acts. Yet, I don't care if other people have sex, as long as it's legal and consensual. I also consider myself sex-neutral or indifferent. It's none of my business who does who and I have no interest in making that my business. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
allrightalready Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 to me sex positive is the reaction against the wacko "feminists" who make a bad name for the rest of us being shrill and saying all PIV sex is rape. i am fine like the rest above with consensual sex but am far more limited in my personal experience with sex Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Archived Posted July 13, 2015 Author Share Posted July 13, 2015 Sex positivity is basically the attitude of "Have sex if you want to. Don't have sex if you don't want to. As long as everything is consensual and safe, it's all good." (Some people forget about the "don't have sex if you don't want to" part, though.) So, yes, you can be sex-positive and sex-averse. That would just mean you don't care if other people have sex, but you don't want to have sex yourself, which is what it sounds like you're saying. My problem with calling myself sex-averse is the word averse. I don't know if that's just me, but it still seems a bit harsh of a word. It is softer than repulsed but still means "strongly opposed/against". I'd prefer sex-squeamish (haha) or sex-reluctant. Sex-repulsed =/= sex-negative. I am a prime example. I'll explain in a bit. Anyways, they're not synonyms. There are even some sex-repulsed people who are sex-positive. Or sex-averse instead of sex-repulsed, of course. I am sex-repulsed, but I am not sex-negative. I'm repulsed when it comes to a personal level as I wouldn't want to be involved in any way, shape, or form, in sex/sexual acts. Yet, I don't care if other people have sex, as long as it's legal and consensual. I also consider myself sex-neutral or indifferent. It's none of my business who does who and I have no interest in making that my business. Oh yeah, I get that sex repulsed and sex negative are not the same thing. What I didn't understand was if sex positive was a general outlook on things or a personal pov. Like, for instance, I've seen that several people call themselves sex-positive as in sex-willing, they're ok with compromising with there partner or experimenting. Then there's sex-indifferent, which others have described as they just really wouldn't care either way, like whatever would happen. Judging from these 2 posts (and the others), sex-positivity is more of a general outlook, so I can now comfortably call myself sex-positive (and sex-reluctant, maybe) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 Sex-repulsed =/= sex-negative. I am a prime example. I'll explain in a bit. Anyways, they're not synonyms. There are even some sex-repulsed people who are sex-positive. Or sex-averse instead of sex-repulsed, of course. I am sex-repulsed, but I am not sex-negative. I'm repulsed when it comes to a personal level as I wouldn't want to be involved in any way, shape, or form, in sex/sexual acts. Yet, I don't care if other people have sex, as long as it's legal and consensual. I also consider myself sex-neutral or indifferent. It's none of my business who does who and I have no interest in making that my business. Oh yeah, I get that sex repulsed and sex negative are not the same thing. What I didn't understand was if sex positive was a general outlook on things or a personal pov. Like, for instance, I've seen that several people call themselves sex-positive as in sex-willing, they're ok with compromising with there partner or experimenting. Then there's sex-indifferent, which others have described as they just really wouldn't care either way, like whatever would happen. Judging from these 2 posts (and the others), sex-positivity is more of a general outlook, so I can now comfortably call myself sex-positive (and sex-reluctant, maybe) Oh, I see. Yeah... I suppose it may mean different things to that individual. Such as that example of someone being sex-repulsed and sex-positive. They may be repulsed by sex on a personal level, but still have a positive outlook on it. Err, I hope this isn't a bad example, but kind of like food... they may not like it and may not want to try it, but may think that it's healthy for some people and it's okay for others to like that food. Gosh, what a terrible metaphor. I used to think that sex-positive was also sex-willing, but coming to this site, it did seem to be more of that general outlook as you have mentioned. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lost247365 Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 Oh yeah, I get that sex repulsed and sex negative are not the same thing. What I didn't understand was if sex positive was a general outlook on things or a personal pov. Like, for instance, I've seen that several people call themselves sex-positive as in sex-willing, they're ok with compromising with there partner or experimenting. Then there's sex-indifferent, which others have described as they just really wouldn't care either way, like whatever would happen. Judging from these 2 posts (and the others), sex-positivity is more of a general outlook, so I can now comfortably call myself sex-positive (and sex-reluctant, maybe) I also find the terms to be a bit confusing. Normally I like to google these things and find out on my own, but the sources I found haven't made me feel any more or less confident on what things like sex-repulsed/aversed/affirmative/etc. means. For instance, I am still not sure if I should call myself sex averse or not. Every time I imagine myself in the act I can't help but feel a bit sick, but I can talk about the subject or see a sex scene without getting ill which, by my understanding, is something that happens to those who are sex-repulsed. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
allrightalready Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 Oh yeah, I get that sex repulsed and sex negative are not the same thing. What I didn't understand was if sex positive was a general outlook on things or a personal pov. Like, for instance, I've seen that several people call themselves sex-positive as in sex-willing, they're ok with compromising with there partner or experimenting. Then there's sex-indifferent, which others have described as they just really wouldn't care either way, like whatever would happen. Judging from these 2 posts (and the others), sex-positivity is more of a general outlook, so I can now comfortably call myself sex-positive (and sex-reluctant, maybe) I also find the terms to be a bit confusing. Normally I like to google these things and find out on my own, but the sources I found haven't made me feel any more or less confident on what things like sex-repulsed/aversed/affirmative/etc. means. For instance, I am still not sure if I should call myself sex averse or not. Every time I imagine myself in the act I can't help but feel a bit sick, but I can talk about the subject or see a sex scene without getting ill which, by my understanding, is something that happens to those who are sex-repulsed. yeah i never count on the internet to educate me, i can't find anything i don't already know about and 99% of what i see out there is either a deliberate or possibly unintentional lie Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 Oh yeah, I get that sex repulsed and sex negative are not the same thing. What I didn't understand was if sex positive was a general outlook on things or a personal pov. Like, for instance, I've seen that several people call themselves sex-positive as in sex-willing, they're ok with compromising with there partner or experimenting. Then there's sex-indifferent, which others have described as they just really wouldn't care either way, like whatever would happen. The personal p.o.v. - being open to having sex and enjoying it - is usually called sex-favorable on here. Sex-positive should only be used for the general political stance "have as much or as little sex as you want, it's all good as long as it's safe, sane and consensual". Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Archived Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 Oh yeah, I get that sex repulsed and sex negative are not the same thing. What I didn't understand was if sex positive was a general outlook on things or a personal pov. Like, for instance, I've seen that several people call themselves sex-positive as in sex-willing, they're ok with compromising with there partner or experimenting. Then there's sex-indifferent, which others have described as they just really wouldn't care either way, like whatever would happen. The personal p.o.v. - being open to having sex and enjoying it - is usually called sex-favorable on here. Sex-positive should only be used for the general political stance "have as much or as little sex as you want, it's all good as long as it's safe, sane and consensual". Ohhh. Thanks lots! Now I just need a word to describe my personal pov. I've heard of sex-repulsive and sex-averse, but they're apparently the same thing and is the strong opposition/disgust of the idea of having sex. To me, it's just...sex, an action. I don't think I'd like it, but I don't think I'd be disgusted by it. I'd imagine it to be boring and it's just not something that appeals to me. I have strong feelings about not having it. I really don't want to have it, but I don't find it repulsive, just something I'm really reluctant to do. Not just because of my age, just in general. I don't know if there's a term for that, but I'm kinda just calling myself sex-reluctant if anyone asks. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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