thekittyhawk Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Wikipedia didn't help. I have no idea what love even is. Is it an emotion that you feel, like sadness? Is it a frame of mind or attitude toward a person? I don't know. All i do know is that i am aesthetically attracted to some girls and have infrequent sensual fantasies about this one girl. But i don't know what a relationship would be like or if i would even want one. Is romantic attraction something I will just have to learn as i go along, or should i be able to tell already? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Cue: "What is love? Baby don't hurt me." "I wanna know what love is! I want you to show me!" Sorry. :lol: Anyways, love is very complicated... as there are many different types of love and different ways to show love. For me, it's kind of having an intense feeling of care for someone and you always want them to be in your life. Well, for myself, I have been romantically attracted to a few people, but I wouldn't say that I "love them". I feel like "interested" is a more appropriate word to describe my feelings. Yet, when it comes to love, I would love my pets, my friends, my family. I'd care about them a lot and always want them in my life. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nori989898 Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Love is possibly the hardest thing to define. It is a different experience for everyone, and it is a very multi-faceted term. Imo, aesthetic attraction/fantasies isn't love, but I cannot tell you what love should mean to you. And you're only 15? I'm 17, so I am not saying I know more than anybody else, but you're still young. You will learn and discover more of your emotions as you grow. I am a completely different person now than when I was fifteen. I hope you find what you're looking for and find some sort of meaning from my small ramble. Have a great day :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hbadger98 Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Love to me only shows itself in signs like a quickening of the heart whenever something good happens to someone I love or when in a stressful situation, I run to them first. I also feel kind of warm when I think about them. I have not yet felt romantic love but I hope to in the future. Platonic love for me is incredibly strong though. I don't know what I'd do if I lost one of my closest friends... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
thekittyhawk Posted July 11, 2015 Author Share Posted July 11, 2015 And you're only 15? I'm 17, so I am not saying I know more than anybody else, but you're still young. You will learn and discover more of your emotions as you grow. I am a completely different person now than when I was fifteen. Thank you, that is reassuring... i think im safe to just identify as greyromantic until i actually have something to go on ;) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nori989898 Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 And you're only 15? I'm 17, so I am not saying I know more than anybody else, but you're still young. You will learn and discover more of your emotions as you grow. I am a completely different person now than when I was fifteen. Thank you, that is reassuring... i think im safe to just identify as greyromantic until i actually have something to go on ;) No problemo! I'm just glad I said something that made sense xD And that's great, don't feel pressured to label yourself, just feel it out and see where you go Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 The majority of society just thinks that love is for those in relationships, but since I can't feel that way, I think otherwise. There is intense amount of care about someone you know very much. There have been very few people that I have been able to trust that closely, I count two. I always differentiate between care and love since I can't feel romantic love. I care about my two friends a lot and would try to make them happy if I can. I do rank my friends so one is higher on my list than the other, but I like hanging out with them, even if it means I'm just sitting around in their presence. Their being with me is all I ask for, I don't need for us to do anything. I just want the emotional bond. But I'm just describing platonic love here. I can't feel anything else. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
booksaremysexlife Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Love is when you really really care about someone and they are part of you or you want them to be a part of you. More than a crush. You don't just love someone when you go on a first date with them, that is more of.. (like skyworld :D said) interested. Love is when you think about someone, or they make you smile in the worst moments.Whenever you love someone in your family, for example, you care about them, and something in your core just cares. It doesn't really have to be just a partner, but I think you just feel it when you do and will know when you feel it. I am 13 IDK maybe I am wrong ;) but that is what I think. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Love isn't something you can write in words, that's why it's so hard to define. Romantic love is by no means the only love; there is platonic, familial, parental, sentimental, worldly, environmental, hobby... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lost247365 Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 From what I understand Love is a psychological state that developed in humans as a result of evolutionary adaptation. It causes humans to feel an attachment to relatives and potential mates that elicits extreme levels of altruism and a willingness to sacrifice one's own pleasure to ensure the overall good and happiness of those individuals and the family unit. This turned out to give humans with this trait an fitness advantage in that by sacrificing for others meant that the children or close relatives would be more likely to live and pass on their genes. From my own experiences I would say you will know romantic feelings for someone when you experience them. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 1) Love and romantic attraction are two different things. 2) You can't learn to feel romantic attraction (nor any kind of love); you're capable of having it or you're not. It's not a controlable emotion. Though for some people this attraction can develope over time/a bond; called demiromantic. Romantic attraction is an emotion, which do not translate well into words, but if you want a vague explanation, it's the soft/fuzzy feelings with some degree of fixation (at least in comparison to how you are with other people). Some react to it with butterflies, blushing, dreamy mind set, etc., and some don't. Love typically comes later, though it can be hard to differentiate between it and infatuation; which can happen immediately. Love can be unconditional, and it can be conditional. Sensual attraction/sensual fantasies don't automatically mean romantic attraction. You could be desiring a queerplatonic relationship with her. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
verily-forsooth-egads Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Okay, does ANYONE on this site actually know what romantic love is? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Okay, does ANYONE on this site actually know what romantic love is?Yes, but it's an emotion so no one can put it into words. Also, the difference between romantic love and platonic love is like comparing two very similar tasting foods. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
butterscotchwm Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
allrightalready Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 love is not an emotion it is a decision to make your concern about someone elses welfare an important part of your life. love in and of itself has nothing to do with romance or attractions (though you may direct it differently due to those things) just as an aside, googling anything will result in 99% garbage and you have to work hard to find anything real out of the results. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dandelionfluff Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Allow this song to answer the question for you But in all seriousness I have heard that love is when you care for someone more than you care for yourself. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WheelCuddle Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I suppose you could say romantic love lite it's wanting to be with someone, and feeling very different while you're with that person, wanting to touch them, wanting to talk to them, and extracting 200 percent of emotional meaning and value from it. Romantic love alters your desires and perceptions beyond yourself. much in the same way they say having a baby alters your perceptions of what matters in life (havent experienced that). What do I mean? I mean you will do something you hate and love doing it. I have cleaned up vomit, I have cleaned up period blood and changed a pad, and felt nothing but love doing it. Outside of romantic love, that makes no sense. I really really hate being cold, I don't tolerate it well, but I have sat in near freezing temperatures, because someone wanted fresh air, and I didn't mind a bit. You can't expect to feel that kind of love for someone you just met, or someone you barely know. Much as society loves to romanticize "love at first sight" Love at first sight is just a pretty way to say lust at first sight. You will not experience romantic love for 99 percent of the people you meet. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cosmicharpy Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 Love is when you want to protect someone so much you'd give up your own life if you had to. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Equality Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 There isn't really a set definition, because of all the different opinios. But, it's just more special, because individuals create their own definition for it. Pretty interesting stuff Quote Link to post Share on other sites
butterscotchwm Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Yeah I'd have to say in all seriousness that the best answer I've heard to this question was when my aunt said, "To love someone is to be consumed with making sure that that person is ok." And I'm sure she was directing that statement mostly towards her kids, nieces, nephews, siblings, ect. but it can and should also be directed towards a partner. I think people keep conflating romantic / sexual feelings and love as if they're the same thing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Unlabeled Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Wikipedia didn't help. I have no idea what love even is. Is it an emotion that you feel, like sadness? Is it a frame of mind or attitude toward a person? I don't know. All i do know is that i am aesthetically attracted to some girls and have infrequent sensual fantasies about this one girl. But i don't know what a relationship would be like or if i would even want one. Is romantic attraction something I will just have to learn as i go along, or should i be able to tell already? What a thing is depends on who's using it and in what sense. Love for example is a quantified emotion as determined by MRI study of married couples. But I'm a bit of a nerd so use terms in clinical senses. :) In this case, I'd suggest simply befriending her. Don't overthink things. Can talk yourself out of getting out of bed in the morning doing that. :) Instead just become friends. Let things evolve organicly and see what direction it takes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 love is not an emotion it is a decision to make your concern about someone elses welfare an important part of your life. love in and of itself has nothing to do with romance or attractions (though you may direct it differently due to those things) just as an aside, googling anything will result in 99% garbage and you have to work hard to find anything real out of the results. No, love is quite literally an emotion. Yes we can phrase what platonic love is, but the OP is asking about romantic love and that boat is alot harder to define/differentiate. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member54880 Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 I find this an interesting question, and one that I have questions about. There are various kinds of love, including romantic, platonic, and familial, and love can be conditional or unconditional.I think there are some gray areas though, and I've been questioning if they count as love. My apologies if I just end up raising even more questions, instead of giving answers, but in one model of love, called Sternberg's Model, or the Triangular theory of love (a model I like for the most part, but disagree with consummate love being what everyone should strive for), there is a type of love that is described as purely being commitment or obligation towards the other person, with no passion, nor any emotional closeness. It's considered a form of love (called "empty love") on the model, but would most people actually consider "empty love" to actually be love? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
allrightalready Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 love is not an emotion it is a decision to make your concern about someone elses welfare an important part of your life. love in and of itself has nothing to do with romance or attractions (though you may direct it differently due to those things) just as an aside, googling anything will result in 99% garbage and you have to work hard to find anything real out of the results. No, love is quite literally an emotion. Yes we can phrase what platonic love is, but the OP is asking about romantic love and that boat is alot harder to define/differentiate. gonna have to agree to disagree then, love is a decision, the biggest problem people have in relationships is thinking that when the feelings go down that love is over and they should quit Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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