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Genderfluid and so very confused


Khale_Carter

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Khale_Carter

So I'm Genderfluid. I've known this for awhile. Yet this is the first time I've had the male side of me be this strong. For awhile I was actually thinking I might be transgender because it was so strong. The problem I'm having is this, I'm a substitute teacher at a junior high here in texas (7th and 8th grade) and I'm in the male end of spectrum right now and these changed take months to take place. So I'll change every few months or longer (yes I know everyone is different) so what do I do when I go back to work in August? I'm wanting to be called Mr. And not Ms... And so do I let them know? And if I let them know what happens if I begin to switch genders? I have a system of wearing either a bracelet or a necklace that says she or he or they on it that way my friends know...do I use that same system and just had color with it? Or.. Do I not tell them...I have such a hard time thinking about being called Ms when right now I'm not a ms...Idk what to do. I'm so scared. And so worried...

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joshuaSunshine

I wouldn't stress and just see how you feel in early August. From reading what you wrote, I gather you go back and forth; so maybe you'll, for lack of better word, switch before school is back in session. You could be a hip teacher and have them call by your first name without any prefix.

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nerdperson777

There's also the neutral Mx prefix. If you really want your students to know you personally, do whatever you think is right. Though if word gets out to the other teachers, there might be some explaining to do.

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Do you feel comfortable being out about your gender identity? Coming from another genderfluid person, the system with the bracelet/necklace is genius. I'm sure your students would be able to catch on with no problems at all.

But if you're not comfortable coming out at work, then brainstorming other ideas is the way to go. Do you change your presentation much as you change genders? For example, do you wear a binder or breast forms respectively, to appear more in line with your gender? If yes, it may be harder to find an explanation other than your genderfluidity to account for that. But if your presentation stays roughly the same, and you don't want to come out at work, then asking to be called by your first name (assuming your first name is not gendered enough to cause discomfort) or just asking to be called by your last name with no honorific are both good choices.

So, for example, if my name were Heart Hearty, instead of asking to be called Mr/Ms/Mx Hearty, I could ask to just be called Hearty. Or Heart.

By the way, the neutral honorific Mx is pronounced the same way as the word "mix" ;)

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butterflydreams

Heart's suggestion reminded me of a professor I had in college. He was relatively young, early 30s maybe, and from Sri Lanka. His last name was...difficult. And even when you got it right, it was still a mouthful. He told us at the last place he taught, he had the students to just call him "G" because that's what his last name started with.

I realize with 7th/8th graders it might be more difficult to have that lack of Mr/Ms formality, but if executed properly, I think it could work. With my professor, it made all of us feel better (we didn't have to worry about butchering his name), and let us focus on the class instead.

Oh...random thought I just had, find some foreign word for "teacher" and use that. Or chop it up and use part of it. The kids won't have ever heard it before, so they won't have any reference as to context. It'll just be a word referring to you as far as they're concerned. учитель is "teacher" in Russian. Pronounced 'u-chi-tel'. Kids might think that's fun. And it's learning!

(Ok, and secret: учитель is actually teacher (male). учительница is teacher (female) 'u-chi-ten-yit-sa'. So you could always swap it up on them and they would be none the wiser ;))

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Be honest with the students and explain your situation. I'm sure that some students will understand your situation and will use the correct name to address you. To those students who will be rude about it, just ignore their comments, some kids will be stubborn and try to be funny. But if they take it too far, then that needs to be addressed to the principal. Even though school year might be hard, but you are strong and just be yourself.

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