anon123321 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Without going into to much detail, I'll just say I've been thinking a lot about my gender identity. Just the other day I felt like I was making some head way at coming to peace with myself and who I am. Yesterday and today however I'm not so sure. Has anyone else felt like maybe you are mistaken. You feel that, maybe, your fight for gender identity might stem from another part of yourselves that has nothing to do with gender but you attach labels that don't fit because you just haven't figured out what's actually at the heart of the issue. On the other hand it all felt so right just days ago. So is this legitimate? Or am I just trying to be a "special snow flake"? Sorry if my wording comes off as offensive but many people on this forum seem quite grounded in who they are. If anyone had/has similar doubts I'd like to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Lost247365 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Without going into to much detail, I'll just say I've been thinking a lot about my gender identity. Just the other day I felt like I was making some head way at coming to peace with myself and who I am. Yesterday and today however I'm not so sure. Has anyone else felt like maybe you are mistaken. You feel that, maybe, your fight for gender identity might stem from another part of yourselves that has nothing to do with gender but you attach labels that don't fit because you just haven't figured out what's actually at the heart of the issue. On the other hand it all felt so right just days ago. So is this legitimate? Or am I just trying to be a "special snow flake"? Sorry if my wording comes off as offensive but many people on this forum seem quite grounded in who they are. If anyone had/has similar doubts I'd like to know. I feel that way a lot of the time as well. I don't know if it is gender fluidity or compartmentalization, but it often feels like I have two different people fighting it out inside my head. When one is in control I feel certain it is gender identity and when the other is in control it does everything it can to deny the former in every way possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Kappamaki Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 I'm pretty sure everyone who's trans, no matter how grounded and confident they might seem, has had to work through or is working through a lot of doubts and lack of clarity and uncertainty when it comes to their gender, and I doubt those doubts ever vanish 100%, even if you can sometimes calm them down. This isn't unusual at all. Link to post Share on other sites
OttRInvy Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 I definitely have doubts. I started seriously questioning in December 2014. I felt fairly comfortable for a short time in April, but besides that, I haven't felt sure/confident in my gender for six months. I definitely feel like a "special snowflake," because I experience no/very little physical dysphoria. I was AFAB, so sometimes I attribute my thoughts as me just being a "tomboy," or it's because I go to a college with 75% guys and I want to share a gender identity that's closer to theirs. Where I go to work right now, there's a lot of females working in my area and they are great at socializing with each other and "girl talk." I've never been good at girl talk. I don't have much to contribute in the area of crushes, or makeup, and I can't giggle in a pretty, "feminine" way like they can. So is this feeling of not belonging because of my inability to socialize with these women or is it because I'm not really one? Of course, not all women need to be interested in things that are considered very feminine. But that fact just makes it harder for me when I'm questioning. Point is, I totally relate on not being sure of myself in that area. Link to post Share on other sites
wickedsoup Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Oh my god, I actually started a post about this a while back. I'm still really questioning, but mostly because I can't believe myself when I say I'm not cis. I think that I'm just trying to be special, or that I'm appropriating something that isn't mine to begin with. I do have dysphoria, but it's pretty mild in comparison to some of the things other trans people experience, leading me to doubt myself. That doesn't mean you aren't trans, though. Whatever fits the best with you is what you are. While I'm sure you know that, and I know that, it's still really hard to believe in yourself-- especially if you've been abused or not listened to in the past. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you're able to come to terms with your gender. Try to remember, just because you feel like you're being a special snowflake doesn't mean you are one. The fact that you're questioning means that there's something not right about your current situation. There's something there. So good luck :D Link to post Share on other sites
anon123321 Posted July 5, 2015 Author Share Posted July 5, 2015 Thanks guys! I know it's something that I need to figure out for myself but I'm glad I'm not the only one with doubts. Link to post Share on other sites
Heart Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 While there are some who know their gender right away, in this forum, I often feel like those people are in the minority a bit... it often feels like the majority of us experience significant amounts of doubt and/or confusion before finding our final gender space! The journey is long, but we're here to help each other through it :) Link to post Share on other sites
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