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Hi, Confusion Here :D


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Confusion 0

Some of you may already be slightly familiar with me. I've been skulking around the forums since the 29th June, making random comments, and even welcoming others to AVEN. I never did make an introduction thread, so here I go...

Hi, I'm a 19-year-old agorophobe who lives in England, UK. I am very extroverted, but also very shy, which is stupid, but meh.

When I started high school, (we call it secondary school in the UK, but I call it high school to prevent any possible confusion) things were great. I was the single shyest person in my year, and everyone let me be. As time went on, I noticed all the guys around me start to go on about this new thing called 'sex'. I just thought they were being stupid teenage guys who just wanted to lose their virginity or something, I don't know. Yeah, I couldn't care less about sex, and never really thought about it. Then, a little later through high school, they all start going on about this 'brand new' discovery... Porn. Ugh... Where do I start? I was disgusted. I instantly lost my respect for every single person who I knew watched it... Until I realised I was pretty much the only one who didn't, so I just thought "Meh". By this point, I still didn't think anything was wrong with me. I was still pretty meh about it. Everyone to whom I told that I didn't watch porn and didn't want sex thought I was weird/hadn't gone through puberty yet (which I had). I was still really meh about it. Then my sister just randomly said one day "I'm asexual", and when she described what it was, I said "Oh, ok". Then, a while later, I read an article about asexuality, and it was so strange... Hearing it from the perspective of a normal sexual person... It was after this point that I decided to adopt the term "partially asexual". Over the next few years, I realised just how much importance most people placed in sex, and I thought it was completely crazy. Fast forward to now, and I met an asexual online. They brought up AVEN, and I thought "Ok, might be worth a look". I had a look around, and found a couple of terms that pretty much summed me up. I started posting, and now here I am. Oh yeah, and my family is pretty meh about it too.

I have since adopted a term I kind of invented: Grey-Averse

So yeah... That's about it, really. I never felt broken... I never questioned my heterosexuality... I never got dumped by a girlfriend who expected sex... I never got sent to see a psychologist... Pretty boring, huh?

Don't get me wrong, I'm usually not this meh, but thinking about my rather meh mid-teen self... It's kinda rubbed off on me...

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Hullo again, Confusion! Nice to meet you and welcome to AVEN! :cake: :cake: Err--did I already welcome you in AVENchat? Oh well, you still get extra cake. :D I'm glad you decided to join. I actually enjoyed your story and I didn't think it was boring at all. I didn't think I was broken either and was actually surprised that everyone is not like myself and aren't "pretending". I've yet to be in a relationship for anyone to turn me down and I didn't see a psychologist about it either. Anyways, I hope you have been enjoying it here. More cake! :cake: :cake:

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Confusion 0

Thanks, SkyWorld :D

I'm pretty sure you already gave me some welcome cake, so you can have it back... :ph34r::cake: :cake: :cake: :cake:

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CosineTheCat

NOOOO, give the cake to appease the mod of Welcome Lounge! *steals cake* *nom*

*slowly hides all cake behind them and continues*

HELLO AND WELCOME TO AVEN!

It sounds like you've had an fairly interesting story despite you not thinking so :) Make sure to browse around the forum, I think you'll find some pretty awesome people!

Welcome Again

*shuffles off with all the cake*

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Cosine, has XYZ96 rubbed off on you!? D: Let the person have their cake! Confusion, I insist! ^_^ :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake:

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Confusion 0

:unsure::cake: :cake: :cake: :cake:

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It's okay, my asexual experience wasn't super exciting either :P I see you are an agoraphobe and "I say word what up yo we should start a club n shit" and then crawl back in bed and play Civilization until one of my cities gets taken and I get depressed and quit!

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Hi, welcome to AVEN

By the way your story wasn't boring

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Welcome! Hey, I like your profile picture. No idea who it is though. I did happen to see a post you made somewhere else a little while ago, but I didn't realize you were new around here!

Maybe your story feels boring to you because you are already so familiar with it? But if I may speak for others as well as myself, we didn't know this stuff about you so it's all interesting information.

I personally love hearing stories of other people on the ace-spectrum, regardless of whether anything particularly "exciting" has happened in their past regarding asexuality.

In this case you are around my age and we are both guys (more or less) and I can relate to some of your comments possibly more than some other stories I have read. In high school I did not (and probably still don't, really) grasp how prevalent sex/sexual attraction is. Even later in high school, I had a feeling that my peers who were having sex were the exception in a group of largely not-sexually-active students. I don't have proof either way, but there's a high chance that way more people were sexually active than I realized.

I've thought pornography was gross for as long as I can remember, but some other people at school seemed so obsessed with it that I looked up some sexual stuff when I was younger. More as research than anything; I mostly used Wikipedia. Still don't really get it. If I never see another naked person for as I live, I'll have seen too much.

That's cool that your sister is ace! When I told my sister I felt asexual, she told me she used to also identify as ace, but now feels more like demi. (Anyone know anything about orientations matching between siblings? Or is it a coincidence? I don't know much about it.)

What is your definition of Grey-Averse?

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Confusion 0

Welcome! Hey, I like your profile picture. No idea who it is though. I did happen to see a post you made somewhere else a little while ago, but I didn't realize you were new around here!

Maybe your story feels boring to you because you are already so familiar with it? But if I may speak for others as well as myself, we didn't know this stuff about you so it's all interesting information.

I personally love hearing stories of other people on the ace-spectrum, regardless of whether anything particularly "exciting" has happened in their past regarding asexuality.

In this case you are around my age and we are both male (physically, at least) and I can relate to some of your comments possibly more than some other stories I have read. In high school I did not (and probably still don't, really) grasp how prevalent sex/sexual attraction is. Even later in high school, I had a feeling that my peers who were having sex were the exception in a group of largely not-sexually-active students. I don't have proof either way, but there's a high chance that way more people were sexually active than I realized.

I've thought pornography was gross for as long as I can remember, but some other people at school seemed so obsessed with it that I looked up some sexual stuff when I was younger. More as research than anything; I mostly used Wikipedia. Still don't really get it. If I never see another naked person for as I live, I'll have seen too much.

That's cool that your sister is ace! When I told my sister I felt asexual, she told me she used to also identify as ace, but now feels more like demi. (Anyone know anything about orientations matching between siblings? Or is it a coincidence? I don't know much about it.)

What is your definition of Grey-Averse?

"both guys (more or less)" That made me giggle, not entirely sure why :D

But yeah, my definition of Grey-Averse... Basically, I experience sexual arousal very rarely compared to 'sexual' people, and it is very weak when it does happen, AKA: Grey-Ace. That's where the 'Grey-' comes from. The '-Averse' comes from being Sex-Averse, or basically, not wanting anything to do with sex.

And my sister's asexuality doesn't match mine at all. I guess I would laber her a 'Sex-Indifferent Asexual'. Dunno if this is odd, but my brother, while I wouldn't call him asexual, he doesn't see sex quite the same way most people do, and like me, is repulsed by porn.

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"both guys (more or less)" That made me giggle, not entirely sure why :D

Always happy to make someone laugh! I changed that part later after reading your topic "I'm not sure where I fit when it comes to gender..." because I realized I might be making some unwelcome assumptions. But if that line doesn't bother you I can change it back. Let me know if you have a preference.

Thanks for the definition. I think I'm averse as well. But for now asexual is all I really feel like using as an orientation label. Oh, and my sister may lie on the asexual spectrum, but we are not all that similar either. "Matching" was probably the wrong word. And wouldn't you know it, I also have a brother (two, actually). To my knowledge, my older brother has never dated. We aren't really close in a way that would lead to us discussing this topic seriously though, so I don't know his orientation. And my other brother is still pretty young, so who knows?

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Confusion 0

"both guys (more or less)" That made me giggle, not entirely sure why :D

Always happy to make someone laugh! I changed that part later after reading your topic "I'm not sure where I fit when it comes to gender..." because I realized I might be making some unwelcome assumptions. But if that line doesn't bother you I can change it back. Let me know if you have a preference.

Thanks for being so thoughtful, but I do primarily identify as male, hence my gender "Male, Genderfluid". I thought it sounded silly, but in a good way, so go ahead and put it back :D

I think I'm averse as well. But for now asexual is all I really feel like using as an orientation label.

It's simpler for you as you identify as "Asexual". But I personally don't want people seeing "Grey-Ace" below my picture and getting the wrong idea. I do NOT like sex. But at the same time, calling myself simply "Asexual" would be a flat-out lie.

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Okay, I changed it back! ^_^

I think I'm averse as well. But for now asexual is all I really feel like using as an orientation label.

It's simpler for you as you identify as "Asexual". But I personally don't want people seeing "Grey-Ace" below my picture and getting the wrong idea. I do NOT like sex. But at the same time, calling myself simply "Asexual" would be a flat-out lie.

I see. I wasn't trying to say I thought you were doing something wrong with your labels, in case you thought I might be. I'm just not confident enough in my own understanding of myself to go much beyond the most basic ace label. I might actually be grey-averse as well, but I don't know. I've tried to figure out what exactly sexual attraction is, but reading definitions and descriptions online hasn't been as helpful as I hoped it would be. It's hard for me to tell just how different my feelings are relative to a person with more a more typical sexuality.

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Confusion 0

I'm just not confident enough in my own understanding of myself to go much beyond the most basic ace label. I might actually be grey-averse as well, but I don't know. I've tried to figure out what exactly sexual attraction is, but reading definitions and descriptions online hasn't been as helpful as I hoped it would be. It's hard for me to tell just how different my feelings are relative to a person with more a more typical sexuality.

Simply based on your confusion, I'd say you are more likely to be completely asexual. I know I'm not completely asexual because I know what sexual attraction is like, and do experience it from time to time.

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Welcome to AVEN!

I didn't find your introduction to be boring, the unusual amounts of meh was rather amusing ^_^

Please, have one more piece of cake...

Cocoa+Espresso+Almond+Passover+Sponge+Ca

I hope you'll enjoy the forums :)

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Lol, I actually thought you had been here for ages :D

Welcome anyway and I hope you continue making friends and learning about yourself.

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scarletlatitude

No cake? Can I interest you in an awkward welcome dance?

tumblr_m6d46t0nJT1rziwwco2_500.gif

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Hi and welcome to AVEN! Your intro wasn't boring at all. This is a very active site with really friendly and supportive members. I'm glad you joined and hope you love being part of this awesome community!!! :)

P63n2Td.jpg?3

I'm sorry...I had some cake, but as you can see, this kitty ate it.

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